TxGruntJok said...my strong suggestion is that you ALSO directly ASK "are you HIV neg or poz?" If the response is neg, then I would ask when was the last test.
Please read my last reply above. The date of the last test does nothing to establish whether a man is negative today. The best a man can do is tell you if he's positive, but saying that he's negative has virtually no value, and the date does not help.
For one thing, he may be lying. Second, even if he shows you the results from an HIV test taken that very same day, the "blackout period" for the HIV markers in the blood to appear can be several months following his infection, depending upon the test used. In other words, he can be infected today, carrying the virus, but it's too early for testing to detect it.
In fact, if he did an oral swab like the OraQuick test, that gives an answer under 30 minutes, the results are not valid for a time window less than 3 months prior. The test may establish that he was negative 3 months ago, but not 2 months ago, or 1 month, and certainly not whether he's negative today.
Yet he will still be infectious today, still capable of infecting you, showing no symptoms himself in most cases (sometimes cold-like symptoms will appear briefly after initial infection). So a sexually active man's always trailing this window of uncertainty behind him, no way to say that he's absolutely clean TODAY, only that he was clean at some point in the past.
And the only way to avoid that unknown risk is for both sex partners to be 100% monogamous for 3 to 6 months, be tested at the end of that period, and remain 100% monogamous throughout their relationship. As soon as one cheats or they have unsafe group sex together, the clock needs to start all over again during which only safe sex is permissible until they retest negative.
And of course each partner places his life in the hands of the other with this approach, because if one cheats he could kill both of them. I lost my previous partner in this very way, ultimately killed by his own late partner.
When I met him his previous partner had already infected him through cheating outside their supposedly monogamous relationship, that cheating partner subsequently dying of AIDS before we met. And then the infected surviving partner, who'd become my own partner by then, developed AIDS and died, too, just a few years after we had gotten together. But I knew about his HIV from the beginning, because he had told me, and so we practiced safe sex at all times and I remain negative.