Please read: In need of serious help.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    If I still lived in Atlanta, you'd totally have a place to stay. Let me know if you make it to Miami Beach.
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    Dec 06, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    MuscleComeBack saidDO NOT -repeat - DO NOT move in with anyone who wants anything from you other than rent. Period.
    In theory that's good advice; but in my experience of shitty roomies, they tend to be nice and respectful till your first week there...then once you're in and settled, they pull the "put out or get out" bullshit.

    In other words, move in with a slut. That way you won't be bothered because he already gets laid enough.

    Whatever you do, make sure to look for (and find) work ASAP. As supportive as many people are, nobody remains supportive for long if you don't take the opportunity to advance yourself. I've already kicked out one boyfriend and two roommates for that very reason. icon_wink.gif
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Dec 06, 2010 2:40 AM GMT
    My heart aches for you. Please follow the advice given by the great guys here as far as services for you in the Atlanta area.

    Please keep us advised as to how you are. There are some awesome mentors here.
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    Dec 06, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    Thanks so much to everyone who replied.
    I am still at home. My dad is at least giving me a week or two I guessicon_confused.gif
    But I will most definately contact the organizations that you all refered me too.
    I am so thankful for everyone of you guys and for your support.

    Even though I may be going through hell on earth, I wouldn't trade being gay for anythingicon_wink.gif I feel gratefull that I am gay, and that I can understand that love has no color, gender, etc.

    I will keep everyone updated! Keep me in your thoughts please!

    love yall
    -chase
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    Dec 06, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    Lots of people have already listed great resources, of which craigslist is NOT one of them.

    PLEASE keep us updated!
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    Dec 06, 2010 5:06 AM GMT
    My total respect to you brother. These big brothers on here are great and will hold you up all the way. As far as your mom and dad, give them time to process, and work with them as best you can while you're at home. They are not throwing Chase out, they are throwing out the threat of homosexuality that they perceive has ruined their son and family. Stay strong and loving, it takes both to keep a family together.........my spirit is with you.........Keithicon_cool.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 06, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    A_1991 said I cant believe that parents would do this to their own child, this is beyond disgusting.



    WELCOME to reality icon_wink.gif
  • idkagudname

    Posts: 87

    Dec 06, 2010 5:31 AM GMT
    WOW.

    I really wish I could help you out. My thoughts go out to you.
    You should try the trevor project.

    http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

    or try Joel Burns.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4

    http://www.joelburns.com

    I'm tracking this forum so please update.

    I hope you make it my friend and make it good so that you can go back to your parents and show them that the world has changed and that there are people out there that cares about you!


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    Dec 06, 2010 6:07 AM GMT
    Also keep in mind that it likely took you years to accept being gay. Your parents just found out (probably with some shock involved) and had a bad reaction. Give them a little bit of time, hopefully that won't be their final answer.

    Not sure how they'll take it, but if possible suggest to your parents that this is a family matter and maybe the three of you should go, together, to get some counseling. And no, not from the Church (etc). See if you can get a recommendation of someone to see in the Cumming area from the organizations listed above.

    When I first came out to my parents, mom (a social worker) was theoretically ok with it (would be fine with anyone else, other than her little baby, being gay) and dad... well, the absent-minded hard science professor might have never heard about it before and naturally figured that I could be "fixed". We all had a session with a therapist and by the end of the hour he turned to my parents and said something like: "he seems to be dealing pretty will with being gay, how about you?" (i.e. Dad, there's nothing to "fix").

    Best of luck, and remember that you always have your gay and RJ family with you!
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    Dec 06, 2010 6:18 AM GMT
    I hope you will have 30 minutes to sit down in a quiet place and make a list of every friend's parent, relative, or community member that helped you in some way in a time of need when others just wished you well. The parent that came to your aid when you fell on the playground, a teacher that gave you a kind word when you were being bullied, etc.

    Then go to these people one by one and tell them "I am being asked to leave me home because of my sexual orientation and I want to know if you know people that can help me find work and housing?" Simple as that - you don't need to ask them for help, but ask them to refer you to others.

    I know there are people out there in your community that you already know and trust that will want to help you. But they need to know that you need assistance.

    I have prayed for your parents - that they might see the beauty of the man that they brought into this world and for you to love them - even in their ignorance.
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    Dec 06, 2010 6:28 AM GMT
    Dude that totally suck!!! I really can't believe they did that!!! I wish you the best and keep your head high. Great suggestions here from other guys.

    Your parents might come around, give them some time, but don't put up with too much crap.

    Great advice someone said, tell your grandparents, they might help
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    Dec 06, 2010 6:38 AM GMT
    Hey Chase,

    Hope you are doing fine and things are clearing around you.

    The most important thing you can do is stay calm and focus on what is your next step. Make lists and contact all the social agencies and relatives is a very smart step but don't jump on moving out because they might change their mind and come around on kicking you out.

    Try to organize yourself on each step you have to take next and you will be fine... I know it sounds crazy but believe me that helped me many times in my life...

    If you hit NYC let me know... Unfortunately I don't know anybody to help you over there but you will find all the help and support.

    Our hearts are with you!!!


    XOXO,
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    Dec 10, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    Hey Everyone icon_smile.gif

    Just wanted to update you all on my current situation.
    I am still living at home. Trying to work things out. I have been going to school since October to become a Radiologist, so I am doing all I can to stay at home until I can truly support myself. I have also gotten a job interview this saturday so I am hoping that will work out. So as of right now things are going ok...

    But if it so happens that I do have to leave my house, I have found a program here in ATL for a backup plan. It is called the RAINBOW PROGRAM. You can read about it on chriskids.org. Basically it is an organization dedicated to helping homeless youth in ATL. The RAINBOW PROGRAM is for GLBT youth who are/or at risk for becoming homeless. It is for 17-21 year olds. It is funded by donations. I would live in my own apartment in a complex owned by the foundation. There are counselors that would work with me to help me become more independent. You are required to have a job/and or go to school for at least 20 hours a week. They basically help you to learn life skills to become independent so that you can thrive and succeed in life.

    So, I do have options.
    I just want to say I love you guys. Ya'll have gotten me through this. I appreciate all the emails and replies I have gotten from everybody. I feel like I have a whole family here who truly loves and cares for me. So thank you everybody!

    I will update ya'll again soon. Keep me in your thought please!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    So glad to read that things are going better, time passing with everyone in your immediate family not forcing quick decisions but thinking things through may find you and them coming to terms. I'm hoping you will not end up having to get help outside the family for a place to live afterall. Wishing you the best !!!!
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    Dec 10, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    radtech10 said Basically I am a 19 year old gay male in atlanta ga. Just came out to parents who decided to kick me out. I now have no place to live, no job, no car, etc. Anyone in atl know somebody who needs a roomate?


    Just curious... how are you on RJ to ask this then?
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    Dec 10, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    Thanks for the update!!!
    We will be praying for you to get the job and be a little more independent!!!
    Keep us updated and good luck with everything!!!
    XOXO
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    Dec 10, 2010 3:15 AM GMT
    Caesarea4 saidAlso keep in mind that it likely took you years to accept being gay. Your parents just found out (probably with some shock involved) and had a bad reaction. Give them a little bit of time, hopefully that won't be their final answer.

    Not sure how they'll take it, but if possible suggest to your parents that this is a family matter and maybe the three of you should go, together, to get some counseling. And no, not from the Church (etc). See if you can get a recommendation of someone to see in the Cumming area from the organizations listed above.

    When I first came out to my parents, mom (a social worker) was theoretically ok with it (would be fine with anyone else, other than her little baby, being gay) and dad... well, the absent-minded hard science professor might have never heard about it before and naturally figured that I could be "fixed". We all had a session with a therapist and by the end of the hour he turned to my parents and said something like: "he seems to be dealing pretty will with being gay, how about you?" (i.e. Dad, there's nothing to "fix").

    Best of luck, and remember that you always have your gay and RJ family with you!
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Thumbs up to you for sharing this experience and good advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    Contact the Human Rights Project in your community they have resources to help gay youth in crisis ....BUD
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    Dec 10, 2010 4:40 AM GMT
    I am so sorry you have to go through this. I hope that everything works out for you. I think this thread beautifully shows (aside from the first reply) that there are many people here to support you and people like you, and that there are resources out there to take advantage of.
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    Dec 10, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    I am glad to hear an update on your situation, radtech10. It seems you are taking steps to help yourself. Maybe your parents will come around, but if they don't right away, it looks like you now have some options. I think you are showing it really does get better. I hoping for the best for you. Good luck.
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    Dec 10, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    Pat yourself on the back Radtech. You faced a fear and conquered it in the most rational mature way. I'm really impressed given how heartbreaking the experience must be. I'm so glad you didn't throw yourself into a living situation that could only have made matters worse. Keep focused, keep optimistic and work hard and you will succeed. Let your parents fight their battle alone, you are already winning yours.
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    Dec 10, 2010 5:28 AM GMT
    radtech10 saidHey Everyone icon_smile.gif

    Just wanted to update you all on my current situation.
    I am still living at home. Trying to work things out. I have been going to school since October to become a Radiologist, so I am doing all I can to stay at home until I can truly support myself. I have also gotten a job interview this saturday so I am hoping that will work out. So as of right now things are going ok...

    But if it so happens that I do have to leave my house, I have found a program here in ATL for a backup plan. It is called the RAINBOW PROGRAM. You can read about it on chriskids.org. Basically it is an organization dedicated to helping homeless youth in ATL. The RAINBOW PROGRAM is for GLBT youth who are/or at risk for becoming homeless. It is for 17-21 year olds. It is funded by donations. I would live in my own apartment in a complex owned by the foundation. There are counselors that would work with me to help me become more independent. You are required to have a job/and or go to school for at least 20 hours a week. They basically help you to learn life skills to become independent so that you can thrive and succeed in life.

    So, I do have options.
    I just want to say I love you guys. Ya'll have gotten me through this. I appreciate all the emails and replies I have gotten from everybody. I feel like I have a whole family here who truly loves and cares for me. So thank you everybody!

    I will update ya'll again soon. Keep me in your thought please!



    Too cool! Keep us posted with what you decide to do.

    -Doug and Bill
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    Dec 10, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    I would NOT use CRAIGLIST , to DANGEROUS , you have been given plenty of good advices and phone numbers than you can contact and be safe with ..
    From the bottom of my heart , my best to you .....icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 10, 2010 6:11 AM GMT
    Radtech, sorry to hear of your struggles. Though good to hear some opportunities have come up for you if you must move out. Glad to see your parents are giving you some time. As a 19 year old though, it may be close to time to move out of your parents home anyway so I would pursue your options regardless of your parents changing their mind or not. If you have some say so in it, don't move out out of anger, but out of the fact that you are becoming an adult. And you have shown that your are by taking the steps to get an education, a job and a place to live. All the best to you.


    To all those who have ripped on Radtech's parents. It never helps in situations like this to bash someone's loved one. The reality is that most likely Radtech loves his parents and wants to continue a relationship with them. Telling someone their parents are trash or ignorant does not help that person as they deal with rejection from someone they love. Hopefully they will come around in time and the relationship healed. You don't help that possibility by fanning the flames. Also, its not like he is a 14 year old kid. He is 19 and its not all that unusual for parents to expect their 19 year old to begin moving on.
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    Dec 10, 2010 7:03 AM GMT
    triguybi saidRadtech, sorry to hear of your struggles. Though good to hear some opportunities have come up for you if you must move out. Glad to see your parents are giving you some time. As a 19 year old though, it may be close to time to move out of your parents home anyway so I would pursue your options regardless of your parents changing their mind or not. If you have some say so in it, don't move out out of anger, but out of the fact that you are becoming an adult. And you have shown that your are by taking the steps to get an education, a job and a place to live. All the best to you.


    To all those who have ripped on Radtech's parents. It never helps in situations like this to bash someone's loved one. The reality is that most likely Radtech loves his parents and wants to continue a relationship with them. Telling someone their parents are trash or ignorant does not help that person as they deal with rejection from someone they love. Hopefully they will come around in time and the relationship healed. You don't help that possibility by fanning the flames. Also, its not like he is a 14 year old kid. He is 19 and its not all that unusual for parents to expect their 19 year old to begin moving on.




    I understand what you are saying, and thank you for your comment. And yes I agree that 19 is an age that one should move out. However My job I had was working for my dad in his business. My car is also in his name. I pay him payments on my car, insurance, and I pay for my phone and all my own stuff. But since I am going to school, it is hard for me to get in enough hours at work to be able to afford my own place. So basically when my dad first said he was going to kick me out, he said that I could no longer work for him, and I could not have my car. I would be without anything really to my name.
    So yea I agree that I am old enough to move out on my own, it is just not a very realistic option for me.
    I am however taking steps towards independence so that I can be prepared to move out if I absolutely have to. I would just prefer to be able to live at home until I finished college. My sister was allowed to live at our home until she got married, she never actually finished college.
    I guess it all just depends on circumstances.