Please read: In need of serious help.

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    Dec 10, 2010 8:05 AM GMT
    Hey,do you have an aunt or uncle that you can call?
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    Dec 10, 2010 8:27 AM GMT
    Your parents are shitty. I hope it works out for you. Other gays will help you, stick to the community that will protect you.
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    Dec 10, 2010 8:50 AM GMT
    Its an awful thing to hear! I'm glad there you're beginning make steps for full in dependency...My thoughts are with you.
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    Dec 10, 2010 9:49 AM GMT
    While tribiguy is correct about making preparations to leave, it is much easier if you can complete your school without the added pressures of living completely independently. You will have enough debt when you graduate and it is hard to get the loans in place to support independent living half way through the year.

    It has been awhile now, and it sounds like things have settled a little. I would be tempted to confront the situation now (or soon) directly for your own peace of mind. As it stands, it sounds as though you don't know if you have a job, a car or a place to live.

    I would sit your parents down and calmly tell them that you have done some searching and have found alternatives to living at home while you finish your courses but that it will take a week or two before arrangements can be made. Basically, offer to leave. This accomplishes a number of things. It tells your parents that you respect them enough to take the words "you will have to leave" to heart. If they would let you stay because they thought that you had no place to go and allowed you to remain strictly out of guilt it might lead to a power imbalance (they believe that you are 100% dependent on them.) It also means that they would be able play the saints even while openly despising you and / or your orientation ("look at how kind we are allowing our gay son to remain at home so he can have a future.")

    The last two objectives that this accomplishes are that they can retreat without "loosing face". They can tell you that they have reconsidered and had time to think about it and are happy to have you remain while you attend school (and allows further discussion on any questions or concerns or rules such as "no boyfriends shall set foot in this house.") Finally, it takes the threat away one way or the other. Either you need to get busy and actively pursue the options that you found and start moving or you have a roof over your head with your family for awhile longer... no more wondering.

    Whether they wish for you to leave or remain it can only be good for your relationship. There will be no hidden resentment on either side. If you just keep living there they may allow it but resent your remaining. If you are asked to leave you have the choice of being openly upset (and rightfully so) or continuing on trying to salvage whatever relationship you can with your parents.

    Best of luck, and please do continue to keep us posted.
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    Dec 10, 2010 4:41 PM GMT
    Rad/Chase Your story made my heart bleed, and I am so very thankful for everyone elses responce with help and guidance.

    If you need anything from me let me know I can only do what I can.

    Keep your chin up, things look better for you this way.
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    Dec 10, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    We're all with ya, bud! You're in my prayers. I am one of three in my family out of 5 children to come out. My parents are a Roman Catholic family.(You can imagine how difficult that was...) My parents are now extremely accepting now because we stayed true to ourselves and showed them how happy we were just to accept who we are. In truth they only want their kids to be happy in life. Use your friendships for help and guidance, but please be mindful of those who will take advantage of you. We're all here to help. Please let us know how you are doing and how we can be of help. Good luck, you are NOT alone! Tony
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    Dec 10, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    I cried reading this, not only because it is such an awful story, but because of all the great help and advice offered. I once said there was no such thing as a 'gay community'. I've changed my mind. Best wishes.
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    Dec 10, 2010 5:50 PM GMT
    realifedad said So glad to read that things are going better, time passing with everyone in your immediate family not forcing quick decisions but thinking things through may find you and them coming to terms. I'm hoping you will not end up having to get help outside the family for a place to live afterall. Wishing you the best !!!!


    These are my feelings as well. Good luck to you, Chase, and keep us posted.
  • Sk8Tex

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    Dec 10, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    You certainly seem to be a well spoken clear headed individual to me so I suspect you will do fine out there in the real world. Something I noticed between the lines there though is that your dad is trying to take a car away from you that you've been making the payments on? Do you have bank statements/receipts or anything else to prove you were the one making the payments? That could be used in small claims court to determine ownership of the vehicle if im not mistaken.. if you were willing to go there that is. (Though I would certainly understand if you didn't.)

    Keep your head up!
    -James