Do I want too much???

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  Dec 06, 2010 2:58 PM GMT

  So I think I want too much in a person. Maybe this is why I haven't had much luck recently. I don't really know for sure so I wanted to know if anyone could help me out...
  
  Here is what I want:
  Someone who is smart, funny, goal oriented, more on the taller side (I'm 6'3), and cute. Those are the basic things.
  I also want someone who has a nice body and takes care of it like I take care of mine. Someone who is athletic and can talk about sports with me one night, and can also get into deep intellectual conversations on a different one. I want someone who will call or text me during the day just to say "I was thinking about you." Someone who can have a good time going out and a good time staying in. I'm into white guys and I want one that is more urban. Not the kind that wear baggy jeans and stuff like that who think they're black. But someone who will appreciate my culture while I appreciate theirs. (This is not to say that I only date white guys, its just what I have so far). I also want someone who is religious. They don't have to necessarily believe in what I believe in, but have some sort of religious identity so they can pray with me.
  
  So...Do I want too much? Or do I just have to be a little more patient?

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  Dec 06, 2010 3:51 PM GMT

  Do you have a checklist that you whip out every time you meet someone and if they don't meet all the criteria they don't get a second chance? Seems all you want is a guy that's all about you.
  
  Just get talking to a guy and if you can have a non stop conversation which includes lots of laughter then that's the guy to pursue and see where it leads. Surprise yourself.

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  Dec 06, 2010 5:34 PM GMT

  Wow! Does this person have to have everything that you mentioned? Are all of these dealbreakers for you? If so, then you may want to rethink this and only look for things that you NEED instead of what you WANT. Have you seen "What Chilli Wants" on VH1?

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  Dec 06, 2010 8:22 PM GMT

  @jim_e: no its not a check list lol. i honestly don't even pay attention to a lot of those things because i don't feel like someone will have them all. but i will take your advice. thanks
  
  @clarksdale97: no this person doesn't have to have everything, and they are not all deal breakers. and yes, i have seen that show. and now that you mentioned it, i kind of sound like her haha which isn't a good thing. but i will take your advice as well and look at my needs more than my wants. thank you

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  Dec 06, 2010 11:50 PM GMT

  Your perfect partner is probably the guy who is the opposite of all those things and you'll probably never get to know him unfortunately. It's why most gay guys can't find anyone or if they do it seldom lasts.

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  Dec 07, 2010 12:45 AM GMT

  clarksdale97 saidWow!

  That's exactly my first thought when I saw your picture.

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  Dec 07, 2010 12:54 AM GMT

  Since when do "smart" and "religious" go together?
  
  I'm not quite sure there is such a thing as a religious intellectual urbanite. Let alone an athletic one that's 6'3.
  
  Time to re-evaluate priorities.

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  Dec 07, 2010 1:01 AM GMT

  I don't think you expect too much. There is nothing extravagant about that list. I wonder though, do you allow the time for people to show you all those things. It's quite a list, so clearly one date won't be enough time to get to know someone to that extent. I'd say you probably need to give guys a little bit more time to get to know you before you decide they are automatically not what you want!

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  Dec 07, 2010 1:01 AM GMT

  You have a very good idea about what yo want.
  
  Next step, start to make the list of what you can give.
  
  I tend to believe the 'right' guy is the one that makes you feel in such a way you would go very far to make him happy and that at the same time, you both get happy without any hard work.
  
  It's not about how well he match the list, that part is mostly about how comfortable you would be to introduce him to your mother ;-)
  
  

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  Dec 07, 2010 5:27 AM GMT

  thanks guys...i appreciate the feedback. some more than others lol, but still appreciated nonetheless

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  Dec 07, 2010 5:40 AM GMT

  Tazo995 saidSince when do "smart" and "religious" go together? ......
  

  
  
  
  
  LOL!

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  Dec 07, 2010 5:46 AM GMT

  "Not the kind that wear baggy jeans and stuff like that who think they're black."
  
  Good luck finding your ideal person?
  
  Just curious to know what you mean by what is quoted above. I did not want to overanalyze.

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  Dec 07, 2010 1:35 PM GMT

  orthojock said"Not the kind that wear baggy jeans and stuff like that who think they're black."
  
  
  Just curious to know what you mean by what is quoted above. I did not want to overanalyze.

  
  
  
  lol well...i guess i can rephrase that. those guys don't necessarily think they are black, but they just dress in a way that i don't like. and along with that they try to use all the slang that black people use. hopefully that answers your question

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  Dec 07, 2010 2:28 PM GMT

  Tazo995 saidSince when do "smart" and "religious" go together?
  
  I'm not quite sure there is such a thing as a religious intellectual urbanite. Let alone an athletic one that's 6'3.
  
  Time to re-evaluate priorities.

  
  
  There may well be, the trouble will be he'll be straight.

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  Dec 07, 2010 3:16 PM GMT

  Reason & logic go out the window when love gets involved... I, too, have a "wish list," and I believe it is important not to settle for less than total fireworks that can Last. But the danger in the "list system" is that you run the risk of blowing great people off before giving them a chance & finding out who they are...

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  Dec 07, 2010 3:23 PM GMT

  No, the big items on your wish list are not unreasonable, but you sure have a bunch of little side items that are going to get under your skin easier than height, race and creed. How the heck can a guy take care of his body like you take care of yours? That's for the individual to decide. "Religious" is also subjective too. Not everyone lies to pray with a partner... I personally feel that my time with a Higher Power is between me and that Power. "Urban" and "appreciation of culture" are also really subjective. "Culture" alone is subjective. If you're a little more flexible on the smaller things, you'll probably find someone you can at least be content with.
  
  Good luck!

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  Dec 07, 2010 3:31 PM GMT

  You know practically everyone on here and out (including women) have a similar list to yours. Of course most people tend not to say it out loud in the risk of getting laughed at.......
  
  Out of randomness.... I'm pegging you as a Charlotte from SATC

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• LJay
  
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  Dec 07, 2010 3:37 PM GMT

  Yes. Suck it up and look for a real person. You might even buy a (metaphoric) mirror to check on your own qualities.

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  Dec 07, 2010 3:45 PM GMT

  I don't think you're asking too much, but at the same time, you have to recognise that there is no such thing as the perfect guy. If you're fine with compromising on some things I'm sure you can find someone who meets most of the criteria you are after.
  
  I see nothing wrong with having things you want in a potential partner. Though some of your things are a bit specific...

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  Dec 07, 2010 4:12 PM GMT

  So are the guys that are saying they don't think you're asking too much in a LTR themselves or are they also single?

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