oregonboardr saidBorn and raised in Bend. It's a dead town as far as gay life is concerned, believe me.
Then again, I might not be the best resource... moved to San Francisco after college to try my luck down here, and MORE gay men definitely doesn't equal more eligible gay men. [Art's underline]
I sure experienced that. I came out in Seattle, living there a total of 5 years. Loved the Pacific NW, traveled quite a bit through Oregon, even bought a car and a camper trailer there, though didn't spend time in Bend.
I did fairly well in Seattle on the man front (and the backs were good, too... OK, sorry, sorry...
), but I often felt the competition was too high for me, especially in my late 40s. So I tried to hang with the older crowd, and that helped. But as you said, lots of guys were already taken, especially in that age bracket. And I got fooled into fooling around with a partnered guy a few times, and it was horrible, suddenly finding out I had been lied to, and unwittingly made into a potential home-wrecker.
Well then I moved back to North Dakota, where I'd previously been for a few years, and lo and behold, it was like shooting fish in a barrel! Perhaps, to continue the fishy analogy, it's also the old saying: "Big fish in a little pond." And in those days I was packing a pretty big fish (OK, sorry again, I know, a third strike and I'm out...
So bottom line, I had more gay sex in North Dakota than I did in Seattle, whose city population is virtually as large as all of North Dakota's combined, a State larger in area than all of Washington State. My main tactic? I used the Internet to find guys, and then networked from there with as many parties & events as I could attend, or host myself. In a land where very few gay guys were partnered, half of them in varying degrees of closeted behavior, the one drawback for me. But at least I avoided the straight married guys.