Am i a bully?

  • helios01

    Posts: 350

    Dec 10, 2010 9:37 AM GMT
    hey peeps.
    I had a question about my actions that i see as fair but also a thought creeped into my head that i might be a bully.
    okay so there is this guy at work who arrived from mexico over a year ago. When he arrived i felt bad for him bcuz he knew no one here, he was so young and didn't know any english. I volunteered to teach him the tricks and how to be a waiter. Well he seemed nice and cute. But a month or so later he asked me to come over but i always kept putting it off due to school and junk. Later i found out that another co-worker went over and the lil brat started saying the co-worker tried to take advantage of him. a huge red light went off in my head to stay away. He noticed this and started talking bad about me to the manager behind my back. I was a lady at the time and i kept to myself and just let it go. But after some time he made the manager think i was useless and lazy. I'm the only one who speaks proper english in this restaurant and i'm being called useless. well this almost made them want to fire me, and lose the possibility of being considered for the possition of assistant manager when the manager retired. I love my old manager bcuz he was able to see the truth and give me the position.
    Well after i got the placement, he started pointing out every mistake i made to everyone. That was when i popped. He is the biggest queen i have seen and he hits on the other guys at work and tries to get them alone with him and he starts telling everyone i wanted to be with him but he said no and that is why we dont hang out anymore >_<
    I just began telling him (in his face while he was there not behind his back) that he should take care of his men bcuz they are wandering. I gave him the nickname "Guera " (light skinned girly) and call him a queen infront of everyone.
    Just and FYI in mexican restaurants there is a lot of sexual harassment. Just spank each others butts, grope each other and say they are gonna fu** the shi* of each other if they dont get what they want. its sorta to make the other guy look bad.
    Well now here is my problem.... (sorry i ranted a bit... but i needed to show background to why i am doing what i am doing). My problem is that i feel i might be a bully. I meant i h8 the guy but if he is sexually confused am i no better than the str8 ppl who use to tease me? I mean i am not a Jack from Will & Grace, but bcuz i thought differently than they did. I dunno, I enjoy degrading him and making him feel like he did to me.... but does that make me a bully or an asshole? Im good with being an asshole but id hate myself if i was a bully icon_sad.gif

    thanks guys icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2010 10:43 AM GMT
    I don't think you're being a bully but rather you are simply putting him back into the pecking order....Your co workers should know that you are not some busy body and work as professionally as you can.

    That kid needs to be reminded of who can pull ranks and seniority and I do believe you have seniority over him. You don't have to be out right vile to him, but make sure he knows that manipulation and underhanded comments does not fly with you or anyone else who feels similarly about what you have said.