The "I hate women" thread

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  Mar 22, 2008 11:13 PM GMT

  Ok, "hate" is a strong word, but I've got some serious women issues. Ya see, I didn't come out until I was 21, and truly only "knew" I was gay when I was 20. Up until that point, all I knew was that I felt horribly uncomfortable around girls whenever there was any sort of sexual undertones. I'm not even talking about sex/kissing/etc, I just mean whenever there were girls that liked me (and there were many who did) I felt really bad.
  
  When they would ask me to dances/dates/proms/etc I'd say "no" with some lame excuse and then have to avoid them the rest of the year. And then in college, where I went to hyper-sexed UC-Santa Barbara, I just hid in my room to avoid any chance that a girl would want me.
  
  So now I'm out and happy and all that shit, but I still strongly resent women for all they put me through. Now when girls go after me, I enjoy breaking their hearts by telling them I'm gay.
  
  Not to mention, women are just neurotic and not at all like we men are. And that's why I'm so happy that I'm gay... because I'll never have to consider the feelings of a women... except for my jewish mother, who is also a bit neurotic (but aren't they all?).
  
  For full disclosure, I should mention that I have one close female friend who is great and I recently got a female boss who I also like a lot.
  
  So I dunno, does anybody have any similar feelings?

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  Mar 22, 2008 11:23 PM GMT

  I never noticed girls the whole time I was growing up. I mean I noticed them like furniture and didnt walk into them. But sexually speaking, they didnt even cause a blip on the radar.
  
  BTW, do you know why women have legs?

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  Mar 22, 2008 11:35 PM GMT

  Misogyny is not big or clever. Have you considered counselling?
  
  
  Attraction is not a bad thing, and the fact that you felt guilty for not reciprocating has more to do with your issues around your sexuality than around any malice that you may choose to project onto those women who deigned to ask you out. It's like young guys who are offended when older men ask them out. If it's not your thing, demur and move on.
  
  If you find yourself behaving maliciously toward women, you are writing off half the potential friends available to you. If you actively encourage others to behave similarly, you will write off many more. In all seriousness, think about why you have these feelings, and consider seeking help working through them.
  
  And Cslon, women have legs because men have legs and they're pretty much the same animal, with a few minor alterations. The trail thing isn't true, it's just something cooked up by a white trash asshole to amuse himself when he ran out of nigger jokes

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  Mar 23, 2008 12:18 AM GMT

  I'm a bad boy! ...

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  Mar 23, 2008 1:33 AM GMT

  WOW dude. Your "Hate" as you call it sounds pretty deep rooted. You obviously can't "hate" them that much if you have a good female friend and a female boss who you claim to like.
  
  Sounds a little prejudgemental. It's not their fault you ended up being gay and somewhat loathing the idea of doing anything sexual with woman. It's not their fault you couldn't be honest with them and just say something along the lines of "not interested" without having to lie them (excuses are just as bad as lies). It sounds like you were uncomfortable with yourself and probably felt you'd be judged. You holed up in the room during those times at UC because you wanted to and because youwere basically scared and inexperienced with your own sexuality.
  
  Don't take it out on woman. Use a word like "dislike" instead of "hate". They didn't put you through anything. You did that to yourself. Now you have some sort of sick twisted pleasure in supposedly breaking their hearts when you tell them you are gay? Don't flatter yourself man....those "girls" will move on and they won't even think twice about it. You should learn from them and not be so quick to write a potential friend off. After reading your post you just sound bitter and somewhat neurotic yourself, which is ironic.
  
  Hope you get that fixed. Have a nice day man.

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Mar 23, 2008 1:49 AM GMT

  Well I think we all may have had the "uncomfortable", "awkward" feelings as teenagers.
  It got better for me as a played the part of a straight guy in my 20's. But I always knew.
  
  I think you should get over your resentment. They were your feelings, not theirs. I totally understand where you are coming from, but you need to be happy with your life and that means accepting others as they are. I have women I know who I could be very negative and others I love dearly. Don't make your negativity about "them"..... I'd hate to think you would really go through your life that way.

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  Mar 23, 2008 2:53 AM GMT

  Lol, hate certainly is a strong word. =D
  
  Most of my friends growing up were girls (even though I turned out masculine) and I only ever feel uncomfortable when I'm alone with girls who like me...
  
  I just think, "ACK! If I turn her down, she's gonna know I like guys!"
  
  lol

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:06 AM GMT

  Well, I can't pretend to be anywhere as extreme as you, Hunter9, but I for one am fed up with girls and find them incredibly annoying. They hang on me and try to date me until they find out I'm gay, and then they adopt me as their older-brother/psychologist and expect me to fix life's problems for them.
  
  But, to be fair, I guess if they really annoyed me that much, I actually would stop fixing life's problems for them. Instead I suck up the attention like a little sponge.

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:10 AM GMT

  this is ridiculous.
  seriously.
  
  

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:15 AM GMT

  mnjock2003 saidthis is ridiculous.
  seriously.
  
  

  
  
  I am not sure ridiculous is strong enough of a word.

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:19 AM GMT

  You resent women because they were attracted to you? Am I getting that right?
  
  And, you think "they put you through" something when you had to shut yourself in a room because they were merely expressing an attraction?
  
  And, you think that women are neurotic and men are not when you just described a whole behavior pattern on your part that was clearly neurotic?
  
  I agree with mnjock2003 and webinfront.

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:29 AM GMT

  Ok this is the most bizarre topic ever. If you seriously hate women get counseling. If youre joking then OK I guess its mildly amusing to you.

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:33 AM GMT

  I resented it when girls kept coming after when I told them I wasnt interested....
  
  I cant say I relate in any other sense though. Im still flattered when a girl tries to flirt with me... and then I can make all the guys jealous because the girl wants me and not them... its kind of fun. I actually feel kind of bad telling a girl that Im gay, especially the ones who decide they really like me before they find out. I know what its like to fall for someone and find out they're COMPLETELY out of the question.

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  Mar 23, 2008 3:47 AM GMT

  Yeah, I've definitely felt uncomfortable in situations where there is a lot of sexual tension with girls, or when a girl is flirting with me, but do I hate women?
  
  Hahaha no. Many of my closest friends are women... actually they are many times when women are much more fun than guys to hang out with.
  
  I DO feel bad for dating women for most of my life up till now.

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  Mar 23, 2008 4:19 AM GMT

  I don't hate women, not by any measure; though I do keep most women I my family far away from me mentally and literally. I do dislike them as mates. Something about them and their 'vajayjays' just creeps me out to almost a the point of fear. It's like their vaginas are going to open wide and eat me like a venus fly trap or something. Oddly enough, I've never had sexual contact of any kind with a woman; unless you count a short drunken forced make out session with a would be faghag sexual contact that is.
  
  Otherwise, I'm quite fond of women, and admire their emotional and mental strengths, as well as their intuition. I think that men could learn a lot from women, as they've learned a lot from men with the struggle for equality in all walks of life.
  
  It's this natural respect for women that makes it difficult for me to shoot one down when they flirt with me or ask me out, if she's a good person. I've learned to be kind, honest and respectful of their advances. It's how I've made many of best female friends in the past thus far. Only thing that bugs me after that is that they assume they're a candidate for faghag; though I've gone all my life without one, and firmly strongly against their role in the gay-straight relationship.

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• EricLA
  
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  Mar 23, 2008 4:37 AM GMT

  Consider me part of the ColmDublin, MNJock2003, WebInFront, and FastProf club.

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  Mar 23, 2008 4:48 AM GMT

  I Love beautiful women! I'd still be married if it weren't for the whole sex thing

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  Mar 23, 2008 4:54 AM GMT

  I can see where you are coming from Hunter9 but i think your thinking is wonky. Your "hating" someone for being sexually interested in you has a tentative relationship to straight guys "hating" gay guys for the same reason. Essentially, if a woman likes you, you should simply set her bent and move on.

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• art_smass
  
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  Mar 23, 2008 5:48 AM GMT

  I don't hate women, but I sure hate vaginas. Yechh!

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  Mar 23, 2008 9:08 AM GMT

  I hope you're joking.
  
  Most of my best friends are women. Yes, I went through the same thing before I came out... making excuses for not going on dates with girls, having to deal with their attraction to me, etc. I still encounter those situations now, and I simply say to them "I'm flattered, but I'm gay." It's not like they become attracted to you just to make you miserable... it's not some great conspiracy. The caveat here is that there was one "stalker" woman in my past, who was very unstable... but the police handled that.
  
  Being gay does NOT mean you'll never have to consider the feelings of a woman. Women out number men, so you can't avoid them. They are also human beings, just like any of us. There's also the whole karma thing to consider. Hating someone because they're a woman is no different from hating someone because of skin color or sexual orientation.
  
  If you're really, truly hating women, get counseling. If you're joking... it kinda falls flat... sorry.
  

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  Mar 23, 2008 9:15 AM GMT

  Woman are cool. I was raised by power house muscle woman...so The feminist thing is drilled into me.

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  Mar 23, 2008 9:24 AM GMT

  Caslon saidI never noticed girls the whole time I was growing up. I mean I noticed them like furniture and didnt walk into them. But sexually speaking, they didnt even cause a blip on the radar.
  
  BTW, do you know why women have legs?

  women have legs, so they don't leave snail trails...
  
  What did the aboriginal women do, when she had nothing to wear to a fancy dress ball?

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  Mar 23, 2008 9:24 AM GMT

  OBAMA 1, CLINTON O

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  Mar 23, 2008 9:26 AM GMT

  ::Looks up:: "this joke is not going to a very Productive Direction in the stive for a better world"

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  Mar 23, 2008 9:27 AM GMT

  hunterNot to mention, women are just neurotic and not at all like we men are.

  
  
  You live in West Hollywood and you're honestly going to tell me you've never encountered a neurotic man before? Do you ever leave your apartment?

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