coming out

  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Feb 16, 2007 5:58 AM GMT
    good luck boulder... when I came out to my best friend, I was so nervous about it, cause he was the first one I told really. It was not easy, I eased into the topic, nervous about what could happen after I break the news.

    In the end, not only did my friend not reject me, but he told me that he knew a long time ago, and was wondering when I would actually come out and say it to him. So you might be pleasantly surprised when you tell your friends. And trust me, when you do, it's a brand new experience with them. You are no longer living a secret... you're living period!

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    Jan 16, 2008 8:04 AM GMT
    Heh don't be TOO sure that your loved ones don't already know. People can be very perceptive when you least exect it.

    When I started comming out to my friends and family on new years eve, my best bud and his girlfriend said "Yea, we already knew. We were just waiting for you to accept it and come out to us". Then they both gave me a hug and we drank a toast to being true to oneself. When I came out to my daad the next day he said he kinda already figured that lol.

    I was starting to believe I didn't hide it as well as I though I did...and MOST of the people in my life had already figured it out.

    The good thing is that everyone that I care for has been 100% accepting of me and are glad that I am happy and ME.

    That's the big thing, everyone I told always said "There is no change, you are still you."

    I wish you only the best and happiest of times.
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    Jan 16, 2008 8:19 AM GMT
    Move forward.

    Don't worry about drama.

    Once you get honest, everything will fall into place.

    Life is to short to be so self-involved.

    You're a fag. So what? Who cares? Get over it.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16509

    Jan 16, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    It sounds like you have the situation in hand. I think the best approach is to move forward and evaluate. Do it in a way that makes sense to you and you are comfortable. As you move forward, make sure you have friends or family around you that accept you no matter what. So long as you have that, if you encounter some bumps.. its not as major.

    Best of luck.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 16, 2008 3:50 PM GMT
    Just do it!

    I've been out since I was 20. Well, I was outted and honestly, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Regardless of how masculine or feminine you are, just be open w/ who you are. If friends and family don't like it and want you to change ... fuck them.

    This is YOUR life.
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    Jan 16, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    I won't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that for me it was one of the best things to happen to me. were there broken friendships andrelationships? a few... but the ones that I have made have been so much more rewarding and valuable.

    good luck, boulder18... you're gonna be fine.
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    Feb 24, 2008 8:37 AM GMT
    U know I so agree with with the guy beneith your initial post said. If they cant except you they arent "good friends" bro. A best friend is there no matter what, i mean unless you like go on a murderous killing spree or fuck a couple of goats or something LOL. But for real, A true friend and loving family loves you despite your sexual preferance or flaws. You will lose what you thought were good friends who were really surface friends and gain true loving ones.

    Remember bro, you take care of you. No matter what you go through, you will pay your rent, wash yourself, pay your bills, drive yourself to work etc. And if you know whats goin on in that heart , mind and what your penis is desiring then you have to go for that.

    good luck to you!

    boulder18 saidso im at the point where i know im gay but masculine enough so that no one knows. ive been considering if i want to come out and if i do, how to do it.. mostly afraid of broken friendships, etc. anyone got any advice or stories of their coming out?
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    Feb 24, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
    hey man

    i was 15 when i came out,i thort it would be hard and it was,but hey im glad i did i feel like im me were as before i felt like i was hiding some thing.there are times were people bag me,dad an me have a blue.but he i made the choice and im glad i did.i feel so sorry for people that dont,i havnt had the easyest life and if i can come out in a small homophic town you can do it to,man your massive u look like ud kill any one who'd bag u i wouldnt be game 2 say hi let alone bag u
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    Feb 24, 2008 9:24 AM GMT
    Thank you for posting this boulder icon_biggrin.gif

    I'm in the same situation as you.
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    Feb 24, 2008 9:30 AM GMT

    You know your community and enviroment better than us ... it can be dangerous or good for your self image ..
    Try to talk with people who already came out and ask them about what they've been through ..

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    Feb 24, 2008 4:56 PM GMT
    we do all realize this thread was started just over a year ago yes?
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    Feb 24, 2008 5:01 PM GMT
    My story is ... I told my best friend then my friend told everyone else. A very life changing experience. But I have no regrets ....
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    Feb 24, 2008 5:15 PM GMT
    Coming out is a lot easier today than ever, but not everywhere. There is no fast recipe, especially for somebody from an ultra-religious community and family. My luck is that my ex-wife outed me (in a vicious manner) to the adult world and then I outed myself to my two teenage sons, who didn't care, and later to my arch-conservative father. The upshot is that those who loved me accepted me. More importantly, I accept my sexuality and have come to love who I am.
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    Feb 24, 2008 5:20 PM GMT
    Maintain integrity and virtue by being honest. Somebody knows...likely your mom, or dad. You probably aren't as good at being deceitful as you might think.

    Don't let your sexuality define your life. It's only a part of who you are and becoming self-centered, self-loathing, or absorbed by it, is an exercise that is futile, and self-defeating.

    Come to like yourself, being a man of virtue and integrity and everything else will follow. Those who love you unconditionally will continue to do so; those who have issues with will expose themselves and you can get them out of your life. This should all be a non-issue as you develop proper self-esteem, and self-confidence, in your walk through life.

    Like I said, come to like yourself, and the rest will follow.

    Realize, that this is all "normal" and only when you think of yourself as having a "condition" do you empower those who would strike you down. By having virtue, confidence, and a basic self-love, you take all that away from any detractors, and empower yourself.
  • cbrett

    Posts: 609

    Jun 10, 2008 6:04 AM GMT
    boulder hope all is going well let us know what is going on, Im in the same situation at the moment its hard but i think you need to take small step. Im taking very small steps but I'm happy and slowly geting their, and thank you real jock