THE WAY CHILDREN SEE THINGS!
NUDITY> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening> when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was> stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout> from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY> My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me> he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it> in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my> bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a> charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause> it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note> from ! his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child> are not necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar> During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter> to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her> mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right> now. She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's> locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with> ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in> amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little> boy> before?"
ELDERLY> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my after noon> rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers> and> wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at> a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the> inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The> tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she> saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that> suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a> headache the next morning."
DEATH> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister> heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead> robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a> small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the> disposal> of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate> prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his> Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ....> and> into the hole he gooooes."
SCHOOL> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just> wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write> and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE> A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he> fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the> Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf> that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the> boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the> young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"