Don't tell me when I should get over it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    A friend asked me the other day if I have started dating again?Naturally I said that I haven't.Anyway.we ended up in this conversation about me getting over my last relation and that from his point of view I should start dating to begin I come from a small town trust me, there is no one here to date.

    And it's not that I can't date I just happen to be very patient and know that eventually somebody will come along.Never been the type of guy to "Hook Up" with a lot of guys.(I can count mine with both hands still.)My point is that I date when I want if I want.As far as being over my last relationship...I got over it along time ago,it's the abusive part of the relation i'm not over.Forgiving him is gonna take me a while.(see forum.will I push everyone away.)I gave my all the last times and I think I will keep doing it.

    But just because It happened to me I'm not going to block out or not give some other guy a chance.But if I know someone is not what I am looking for then I will let them know.I will still put my all into it and be the same goodhearted person that I was.I did go through a rough one but thats not gonna stop me from finding the one I am looking for no no no no no.It has made me so much stronger.

    P.S to all of you out there who know what I am talking about good luck and much love.

    Always -E-
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16509

    Mar 27, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
    Well it sounds like your friend was really just encouraging you to "move forward" with your life by asking about whether you were dating again.

    I'd just make it clear that you are open to the idea when someone comes along that you wish to date. Don't be offended.. I think you should just let anyone who
    conveys that idea that you will date when you wish and that your prior relationship is behind you (without becoming irritated......even if you are by the comment).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 27, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
    Well, first let me say my sincerest sympathies go to you or anyone who has endured an abusive relationship and then managed to extricate yourself from that. The hurt and the memory from that will go on even if you put it behind you and are capable of not letting it affect your present relationships.

    I'm kind of like you in that I "give it all" when I think there's relationship potential. But I've learned to look for signs that the feelings aren't mutual and have spared myself from making the same mistakes.

    As far as your friend asking about whether you're dating again, I just see it as a friend who's concerned about you getting back to "normal life" as they see it.