Internet Dating: Am I so unlovable?!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 4:58 PM GMT
    Being beautiful doesn't really have anything to do with dating. Attractive men are just pickier so there's no real advantage in the gay world.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    I don't think you lack the ability to have small talk online. I mean you did start this forum and it's a great topic to speak about. The first thing that comes to mind when beauty is brought up is looks, but I believe that beauty is far more than that. A person can be drop dead gorgeous, but if he doesn't have anything else to back it up, then I just don't find that guy to be as attractive as I thought he would be. Looks can only take you so far. Don't be discourage about being rejected from that site, do you really see yourself wanting to be part of site that will only judge you on your outer beauty? You seem like a nice and genuine guy. Just believe in yourself more and pay no mind to what other think, cause at the end of it all, the only person that can make you truly happy is yourself. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 16, 2008 4:23 PM GMT
    well all I have to say is dont listen to them. Beauty is subjective. I mean everyone is someone else type you know? And online dating is kind of a joke. Guys will be contacting you online and you don't reply because they are not your type, and say stupid things like "hey how's your day going?' Yet when it comes to your turn to try to talk to someone else online you say the same damn thing! lol

    All I have to say is this. You never find your boyfriends they seam to find you. And they never find you until you feel like you are going to be fine wit being alone for a while and stop looking for a guy. Trust me it happens everytime
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    May 16, 2008 4:45 PM GMT
    It is impossible to tell if someone is beautiful from a photo. Our thoughts, our lives and our actions make or prevent us from being beautiful.

    But narcissists do not understand this, and so they turn to stone enchanted by their own reflection.

    And Online reality is the merest shadow of Reality.
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    May 16, 2008 5:06 PM GMT
    TigerTim saidIt is impossible to tell if someone is beautiful from a photo. Our thoughts, our lives and our actions make or prevent us from being beautiful.

    But narcissists do not understand this, and so they turn to stone enchanted by their own reflection.

    And Online reality is the merest shadow of Reality.


    This is the best thing I have ever read on here.icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 16, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    ItsMyLife saidwell all I have to say is dont listen to them. Beauty is subjective. I mean everyone is someone else type you know? And online dating is kind of a joke. Guys will be contacting you online and you don't reply because they are not your type, and say stupid things like "hey how's your day going?' Yet when it comes to your turn to try to talk to someone else online you say the same damn thing! lol

    All I have to say is this. You never find your boyfriends they seam to find you. And they never find you until you feel like you are going to be fine wit being alone for a while and stop looking for a guy. Trust me it happens everytime




    Very well put, I totally agree!
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    May 16, 2008 6:02 PM GMT
    Very true!!!

    If a person has read my profile and sends me a message that they've clearly put time into writing(saying more than just "you're cute" or "what's up?"), whether they're my "type" or not I feel that it's only polite to respond, even if it's just a sentence. It's kind of a let down if you really put thought into sending someone a message and they just toss it in the trash.
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    May 16, 2008 6:31 PM GMT
    "Beauty" is one of the most misused/overused words, third to "love" and "awesome." Sure some of those people might look good, but beautiful??? Sophia Loren is beautiful. Marcus Shakenberg(sp?) beautiful. Those people, "good looking" to average. Don't take it too seriously.

    On a related note, how many people who appear average to good looking become extraordinarily beautiful when they open their mouths to show their wit, humor, intelligence, or confidence. Or to move, showing how graceful and/or poised they are? Point is, beauty is subjective relatively speaking but should never be judged by 2-dimensional criteria alone. icon_smile.gif

    (Beautiful: a look boardering on otherworldly; mesmerizing; someone who charms, dazzles, and seduces with intelligent wit or uncanny intuition; a fully connected human being.)
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    Jun 03, 2008 11:48 AM GMT
    im starting to wonder whats wrong with myself, i cant even find anyone online, now thats getting bad!icon_eek.gif
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    Jun 03, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    AlluringAnxiety saidI think it might be that I lack the ability of making small talk with people online, but I'm starting to think that my low-self confidence has caused me to be much more unappealing to other people too..

    Also, if anyone's heard of that "BeautifulPeople" website? I applied there, and I wasn't accepted because I'm not "beautiful enough" - What a piece of morale-degrading shit.

    Excuse my language icon_neutral.gif


    First I'll be blunt but truthful. That said you have 1-2 shots in your profile that are decent but wouldnt get you into that particular website and its because well you dont seem like the type who would fit in. Its not because you are ugly or unattractive (you are cute) but rather you have an emo or jonas brothers look to you and they want brad pitt or mat damon. Is this bad? Depends on who you ask.

    I personally dont like the website and havent seen a single guy on there that Im attracted to. Dont get disgraced because a website doesnt accept you, I didn't. My partner has a profile on bear 411, while I was reject, because the moderator isnt attracted to me even though Im more of a bear then he will ever be. Did that stop me? Absolutely not and Im getting revenge because I helped design a site that contends against them and is more user friendly.

    In terms of online chatting etc you just have to find a website or chat room that has like minded values. If you have the same values as the website that denied you then you need to examine yourself and find out what you prefer a website that has such shallow people.
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    Jun 03, 2008 3:41 PM GMT
    how about peeling yourself from the computer and getting out and meeting people in person. Or is that just too old school.
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    Jun 03, 2008 3:42 PM GMT
    Probably not a good idea to give some invisible person at the the other end of a computer the power to decide whether or not you're "lovable".
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1822

    Jun 04, 2008 2:26 PM GMT
    Well... since you DID apply for it I don't believe you had the same look on the site when you first applied to it compared to now. I think the real interesting question here is if you'd still see it as a moral-degrading shallow site if you were accepted, or if those clear glasses came on after.
  • HndsmKansan

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    Jun 04, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidProbably not a good idea to give some invisible person at the the other end of a computer the power to decide whether or not you're "lovable".



    OMG, I agree with CuriousJock.. (LOL).

    Todd is correct. Imagine the power you are giving a complete stranger to make a determination about you based on a picture or a scrap of information.
    I wouldn't give someone that power, even if it means nothing. "Beautiful People"?? Those that I categorize in that way in my life would be so because of their wonderful attitude and views toward others, not because of their looks.

    You, Alluring.. are alluring in your own way and I'm sure a very interesting guy. Eliminate your Anxiety
    and put yourself in positions that empower you.. I think RJ can be one of them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:05 PM GMT
    You don't need the validation from that site.
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    Jun 04, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
    please... if i were you i would work on my inner game being: confidence, self esteem and self image. Once you have those in line then everything else falls into place and you sure as heck don't need validation from anyone especially a website.

    A friend of mine is a 'pick up artist' who goes out and teaches men to meet women. Interestingly the first thing he has his clients do when they 'hit the field' is to go out and get rejected by 20 beautiful women. the point of the exercise is teach that 1. rejection is not bad, and in fact should be welcomed (why would you want to be with someone under false pretences?) 2. that the odds of gettin' rejected by 20 women is pretty close to impossible. My point here is that rejection is not bad, just a sign saying move on.

    Anyways this guy also has online dating site that I would like to see more from our community get on: www.TheFitnessPersonals.com - I swear I feel like I'm the only one on there, and I know you won't get rejected. Who does that - so mean and rude!

    Anyone in here from Miami?
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    Jun 19, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
    A website that rejects people on their looks seems cruel to me. I should send them a picture of myself on a really bad day right when I 1st wake up...that'll scare the crap right out of the "Beautiful People" icon_evil.gif
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    Jun 19, 2008 1:36 AM GMT
    You should never judge yourself by somebody else's standards. The only standard that should ever matter in your life is your own. Beauty is subjective to an infinite number of things in the case of other people passing the judgement on you. The important thing is not to be told that you are beautiful, but to personally feel beautiful and accept yourself as a beautiful human being. It is one of the most difficult tasks we have in our short time here (along with allowing ourselves to be emotionally vunerable and love fully). You will struggle to get there (I sometimes still do and also struggle with the latter) and some people will never get to that point in life, unfortunately, but try to get there anyway because the reward is immense.

    As the days pass and I grow older and "wiser" (honestly, for lack of better word, because I don't consider myself "wise"), I find myself to be more beautiful in everyway. It's amazing when you start down that road because you suddenly realize your own potential and understand yourself well enough to know what your best qualities are (and how to improve and even turn flaws that you have into advantages). There is nothing greater than feeling that way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2008 1:53 AM GMT
    This is Internet-Dating if he's in your town.

    LOL, search LAWTON and you'll see why this IS NOT internet dating for me.

    But it is fun, I'll admit, I applied to Big Muscle just to see if they'd accept me and then I erased my profile.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2008 2:16 AM GMT
    Don't ever let anyone or anything -- especially a goofy website -- make a negative impact on your self-worth or self-image.

    The person, or persons who rejected you probably aren't half as good-looking as you!





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    Jun 19, 2008 3:17 AM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidDon't ever let anyone or anything -- especially a goofy website -- make a negative impact on your self-worth or self-image.

    The person, or persons who rejected you probably aren't half as good-looking as you!


    You know, in my humble opinion, if someone has to be told this, he is already f*cked.
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Jun 19, 2008 3:35 AM GMT
    One day you are going to look back at the photos in your profile and think "Man, I was so young and cute!"

    Rather than waiting for that day in twenty years time why don't you start thinking like that right now?
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    Jun 19, 2008 7:53 PM GMT
    Caslon4000 said
    You know, in my humble opinion, if someone has to be told this, he is already f*cked.

    ----------------------------------------------------


    You know, Caslon, IMHO, I don't agree with you at all. Everyone needs positive reinforcement from time to time, particularly on self-esteem issues, and particularly someone who is young (like him).