Getting the dating wheel machine running

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 01, 2008 12:41 PM GMT
    First of all, this is not meant to be a definitive answer of any questions that I or anyone else for that matter may have lingering in their cerebellum. Just....thinking out loud, let's say.

    So, I've been on dates. Some were good, some were bad, but all were memorable in some form. The men that I've met on said dates, I could easily say that under different circumstances they could be friends, but unfortunately that is not the case. Some are, some aren't, some I just haven't seen or talked to in a lengthy period of time. Every once in a while, I do come across a guy that I initially am curious about, that I see something that I like either physically or mentally, or a sweet combination of both worlds. Rare, but it does happen.

    We meet up, and go out, make plans, talk on the phone and get to know each other a little better. Then there's that moment, that definitive line that must be crossed. When it presents itself, that is dependent on the situation, myself and the other guy. Do I take that step? Do I let him make the first move and then follow? What is that going to say about me? About him? About....this thing that's happening? It gets so blown out of proportion in my mind that I just lean in towards him and hope for the best. And sometimes, it does produce desirable results. Other times, disaster, and even other times awkwardness.

    So I think to myself: why do I go through this? Why do I work myself up so much, get tightly wound over a guy that it forms a knot in my stomach and I can't stop smiling like a school girl for ten minutes even if my life depended on it? Is it worth it? Do I really want to put myself in a position that I'm going to get potentially wounded? Is my heart going survive the process? Who knows? Who cares? And does it matter?

    Those are the questions I ask myself over and over, and the answer comes back the same every time, echoing over and over like a hammering in my head that doesn't stop.

    Damn it, yes it does.

    Yeah, it's going to hurt sometimes, that's a given. There's going to be expectations and they're not all going to be met exactly as they are written up. There's going to be compromises. There's going to be allowances. There's going to be differences, and disagreement, and arguments. There's going to be those little things that peck at you persistently every day that just make you wish that Flanders was dead.

    But damn it, that's what I want.

    So I go through the process, one by one, sticking it out as long as I can, but so far each one has ended before getting to that point. Why is that anyway? Is it me? Is it the situation? I could just easily blame it on the other guy, but it's not entirely one person's fault. That's just crazy talk. But I keep trying.

    And trying, ad infinitum, it seems by my perspective. I look, I find, I meet, I date, I stop, and then repeat the cycle. Lather, rinse, repeat, it seems in nature. Wash in cold water with like colors, and only tumble dry low, iron when needed. Mechanical it seems, doesn't it? Yet I keep hoping. I can't help but. It's part of my nature to hope, and to remain positive about the situation, that eventually I'll meet a guy that has similar interests and qualities, has enough differences to spark conversations and the ability to try new things, and quite frankly throw a good dick.

    It's what I want. There's nothing wrong with that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 01, 2008 6:19 PM GMT

    You're preachin to the choir, honey. AMEN!!