sleeping with coworkers

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    Apr 03, 2008 7:36 PM GMT
    wrkoutbud30 saidI think i would risk it with chizzad! haha icon_twisted.gif


    yeah but I would only be the boss in the bedroom lol
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    Apr 03, 2008 7:36 PM GMT
    DJBens77 saidChizzad is a fire fighter...

    Takes sleeping with a co-worker into a totally different mental image for me.

    226singles_firefighter_18.jpg


    That's hot!
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    Apr 03, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    Chizzadyeah but I would only be the boss in the bedroom lol


    Yes sir!
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    Apr 03, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    Wow I find part of his answer to be a bit of a cop out. It stop being professional after the first time.

    All the more reason why it's not a good idea to engage.

    Better that you know now than further done the line it could really get messy! In today's the econ being what it is...you need your job!
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    Apr 03, 2008 11:32 PM GMT
    NNJfitandbi saidIt's a risk. Ask any lawyer.

    Plain and simple, the best advice on here.
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    Apr 03, 2008 11:57 PM GMT
    Years ago when I was at my first part-time job working at a supermarket, I started messing around with this guy and it really turned ugly over time due to the fact that I started to develop feelings for him and he eventually started chasing after this new guy and I got jealous. I eventually broke it off. I vowed I'd never get involved like that again.
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    Apr 04, 2008 12:34 AM GMT
    If you work in the same department, are in a supervisory situation, or if your jobs require quite abit of collaboration even if you are in different departments, then don't do it!

    IF where you work is relatively large and you hardly ever interact with each other, then it should be okay. Most larger organizations will probably have a written policy about this and it shouldn't be so hard to find. Most likely, it will be part of your company's sexual harassment policy.

    find out the policy, if you can have a relationship, then proceed with caution.

    this is our policy. i work at a university, so student/professor relationships are also covered:

    "It is essential that those in a position of authority not abuse, nor appear to abuse, the power with which they are entrusted. Administrators (including all staff who supervise other staff or students) and faculty members exercise power over subordinates and students. Therefore, amorous, dating, or sexual relationships between administrators or faculty members and subordinates or students are highly discouraged when these administrators or faculty members have professional responsibility over the subordinate or student. Relations of a sexual nature that may appear to be consensual are still suspect, given the fundamentally unequal nature of the relationship. Moreover, other employees or students may be affected by the relationship, because the administrator is in a position to favor or advance one person’s interest to the potential detriment of others. Therefore, it is
    inappropriate for administrators or faculty members to engage in an amorous, dating, or sexual relationship with a subordinate or student where the administrator, or faculty member, will be required to make professional judgments about the subordinate’s or student’s work or academic performance. The University requires that the supervisory employee cease such conduct and/or divest himself or herself of the professional responsibility for supervision or oversight, should an intimate relationship develop."
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    Apr 04, 2008 2:02 AM GMT
    NNJfitandbi saidI hear it's okay in the porn industry.

    Apparently, they even film each other doing it.

    ROTHLMAO!
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    Apr 04, 2008 2:03 AM GMT
    Unless you're in the porn industry... not a good idea.

    Once you move beyond platonic with a co-worker, professionalism goes right out the window. If it blossoms into a relationship, you can expect the disagreements and/or problems that arise within the relationship to eventually spill over into work. Besides distracting those two people from their work, it also distracts anyone working around them... and can make for an uncomforatble working atmosphere, too. Even if nobody knows what's going on, you can feel the tension between the people around you, and that's not a productive or comfortable atmosphere in which to work.

    I was in a relationship with a co-worker once... he had been with the same company in a different location for some time, then was transferred by upper management to my location as manager (I was already an assistant manager). This happened because, at that time, neither of us was out at work, so upper management had no clue we were partners. We had to always be very conscious of the dynamics between us, both at work and at home, and we had to make sure we left work at work. It began to create stress and I eventually decided to transfer to another location. It wasn't the cause of us ending the relationship a year later, but I know it contributed to it significantly. Never again will I make that mistake.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Apr 04, 2008 2:04 AM GMT
    I've never worked with another gay man I'd want to have sex with. I'm currently the only gay there now.
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    Apr 04, 2008 2:10 AM GMT
    I've always made a point of not sleeping with my co workers... Only their boyfriends.

    Ok, all kidding aside, there were 2 co-workers bf's that I did sleep with when I was first coming out. 1 was a girls bf, that didn't turn out well. But it was the night of my 40th b day party and I think that I did the girl a favor by outing the guy and the other was a guys bf and they have an open relationship. So that one is still ok.

    That being said... It's best not to pee in your own pool. I'm really not proud of what I did, but it was an important learning step for me. No regrets, but great lessons.
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    Apr 04, 2008 3:08 AM GMT
    Hmmm...If you're both mature, it can be handled with some great results :-)

    If one or both (or other coworkers) are not so tactful, things can become quite thorny.

    Be wary.
  • dfrourke

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    Apr 04, 2008 6:46 AM GMT
    well, I helped write our dating policy...and although it starts with "love is an involuntary reflex..." and then continues to say "...of which we will not get involved in your personal life...unless your personal life begins to affect your professional/work life..."...we ask that an employee's supervisor be the third person in the work place to know what is going on if a relationship develops...

    personally, I think work relationships are difficult to handle...not when they are going well [that's the easy part]...it's when they go bad and you have tons of awkwardness between the two of you...

    ...and don't get me started about any sexual relationship where there is a power differential involved...that just screams of sexual harassment when it goes bad...and of course "favoritism"...

    Think this one through and if you decide to "go there"...consider telling your supervisor as the third person in the work place...

    - David icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 04, 2008 6:57 AM GMT
    I agree dfrouke.

    Sex in the workplace is very difficult to handle let alone continuing. I think it has alot to do with the people in question, their state of mind, and of course how others will percieve should ti be found out.

    I recently just finished working in job where stuff like this was a big issue. Personally, I think if the people who have "job relations" can do and handle it without it becoming a huge issue then kudos. AS for me I don't think I'd wanna but myself in that kind of situation. I'm one of those guys who likes to keep work and play seperate because I know what I will and will not tolerate.

    I think you the guy you sleep with realized what was happening and nipped it in the bud real quick. That's pretty mature and a good call. he has done both you and himself a favor. Alot of people say they think they can ahndle it and it always starts off as fun and simple. Mix in emotions and you've got yourself a complete different situation which usually results in something drastic and tragic.

    How many people here have or know of more then at least 5 successful job romances?
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    Apr 04, 2008 8:06 AM GMT
    Oh, why the hell not sleep with your lady boss? What the hell? Live a little! Only thing is - show 'em a good time and they just won't leave you alone!