So I accepted myself, but how do I start to live?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    Accepting myself wasn't easy at all and even though I'm OK with being gay now, that long phase took its toll. I don't have friends and my confidence and overall drive has suffered. What should be my next step...?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2008 11:42 PM GMT
    Next step should be to eat!

    I find, for my self, that its during eating that I work out the most things.

    Get out there and start learning about your self, yes, great, you have accepted you are gay, but, now you need to learn who you are as a whole, not just a man who is gay.

    Join a club or two that are about things you have interests in maybe, go out to meet people (not always to sleep with people)

    Go do things you enjoy, as you become more confident, open, experienced and self assured people will naturally begin to be drawn to you and you will be drawn to them.

    It will take time and effort, but, you will get there eventually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 1:22 AM GMT
    I agree with lilTanker (except for the go eat part, lol). My biggest piece of advice would be, make sure you stay true to yourself, your beliefs, your values, etc. Some of my friends that are gay allow that to overtake them, to make them think that they have to do certain thing...don't make that mistake! Just be yourself and join some clubs that you think you might like. It won't be easy at first, especially if you get anxious about social situations...god knows I use to...just find what you like and go for it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 1:52 AM GMT
    Take it one day at a time, remembering that each and every one of us went through our own share of drama, fear, shame, uncertainty, and confusion as well on our road to coming to terms with this, and that you too will find your way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    Find something you enjoy doing - get on with your life.

    Suggestions in your area:


    The Phoenix Storm RFC
    Sport: Rugby
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    The Phoenix Storm is a predominately gay rugby team open to men of any sexual orientation, race, age or experience level! It doesn't matter if you've ever seen or played rugby before.

    Phoenix Sunfish Swim team
    Sport: Swimming
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    The Phoenix Sunfish is a (mostly) Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender (GLBT) masters swim team in Phoenix, Arizona. We always welcome new swimmers. Come to a practice and check us out!

    Teresa's Tennissentials
    Sport: Tennis
    Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
    Start up tennis group/league-informal m/w all ages-singles/doubles. At least a 3.0 level or close to it

    Phoenix Basketball
    Sport: Basketball
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    Expanding Gay sports in Arizona to include both basketball and flag football. If interested, please email

    Arizona Dust Devils
    Sport: Cycling
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    The Arizona Dust Devils is a gay and lesbian social cycling organization that promotes partnering for road cycling, mountain biking, triathlons and adventure racing.

    Phoenix Hellraisers
    Sport: Flag Football
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    The PHOENIX HELLRAISERS are a group of men and women who enjoy the game of football in all aspects: watching, cheering, and playing. Visit our website to learn more.

    Unusual Attitudes
    Sport: Flying
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    Unusual Attitudes is dedicated to providing an enjoyable, social atmosphere for all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members of the aviation community. Based in SoCal and the Southwest.

    Sport: Multisport Group
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    Providing up to date information on the gay sports in Arizona.

    Arizona Gay Rodeo Association
    Sport: Rodeo
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    Gay rodeo for Arizona.

    Cactus Cities Softball
    Sport: Softball
    Location: Phoenix, Arizona
    Softball in the Phoenix area.

    Go out and meet other people in the community.

    Start living your life the way you want to.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16916

    May 17, 2008 2:26 AM GMT
    Well I think I agree with part of what has been mentioned above... even with CuriousJock... wow...LOL

    Seriously, I would start by remembering that while you are gay, it is only a part of who you are. You are the same person (albeit with realization now) that you were prior... you just have reason to learn who you are as a gay man. Yes, you do need to learn even more about yourself.. be comfortable by realizing the possibilities.. of what you can achieve in coming years... and that has nothing to do with being straight or gay.

    Along the way you need to develop a support system. you didn't say about your family or your parents and the situation there. We don't know what happened to your friends, but you need to develop some new.. good quality friendships with others (gay or straight) who will accept you for the talented person you are.

    You mentioned that emotionally you have suffered. It would have been nice if you had given us more facts, but the recommended path would probably still be the same. Just remember we are here for you should you need to talk or ask input!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 2:32 AM GMT
    Take a deep breath, exhale and remember that life will go on. Then enjoy it. And F the folks that are not comfortable with it.It is your it to the fullesticon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 2:37 AM GMT
    Luckydog76 it to the fullesticon_wink.gif

    or at least as much as you can afford ... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 2:47 AM GMT
    All of the above is great advice - so, I don't have anything more for you - other than to just have a good something fun each day - be good to yourself! The more fun you begin to have - the more hot guys you'll meet who want to join you!

    Best of everything to you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 17, 2008 8:42 AM GMT
    cliche time! Be yourself of course! icon_razz.gif Then you might start thinking of coming out. But only when you're ready.

    When I accepted myself as gay, nothing changed except that I felt better at not having to force myself to like girls. icon_razz.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 17, 2008 10:01 AM GMT
    Ok.. now you're gay
    and the sun came up and it's another day
    and you're still the Exact same guy you were yesterday
    You still like all the same things you liked before
    the same movies
    the same things to eat
    the same places to go
    except now you can meet gay men without worrying if word would get out
    now get on with it
    there's a whole new gay world out there for ya
    but I'd be careful
    don't fall into the gay bar ... strip club
    trick of thinking thats what being gay is
    do like the guys have told you
    get out there and do things that will kill 2 birds with one gay stone
    join groups and clubs that are already things you like to do