How long do you last in bed?

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    Oct 26, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    RedheadedRy saidIt takes me forever to cum when I top, especially with a condom. Sometimes it's not even possible for me to climax with the bag. Which just lets me focus on pleasing the man under/in front of me.


    oh? icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:36 AM GMT
    Kell_la saidStart an edging regiment and go for long periods in each session. This may help to extend your endurance. If you find you can't maintain control when edging yourself, find someone who is an expert and have him do it for you. If needed, have him tie your hands down so you can't interfere. Go at least a couple of hours at a time. It may take awhile to kick in, but you might enjoy the process. ;^)


    What is edging?
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    Oct 26, 2011 6:38 AM GMT
    Ty8833 said
    Kell_la saidStart an edging regiment and go for long periods in each session. This may help to extend your endurance. If you find you can't maintain control when edging yourself, find someone who is an expert and have him do it for you. If needed, have him tie your hands down so you can't interfere. Go at least a couple of hours at a time. It may take awhile to kick in, but you might enjoy the process. ;^)


    What is edging?


    when you are about to climax.. .and you don't cuz you stop or slow down.. and keep your hard on but dont orgasm.
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    Oct 26, 2011 9:20 AM GMT
    Haha, on the total opposite side of the table... Does anyone know how I can cum haha? I suffered from TMS, I find that i'm recovering... But I still can't cum without porn or during sex even whilst bottomoning... Only when I watch porn...
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    Oct 26, 2011 9:40 AM GMT
    nerdjock76 saidI last until my partner blows.

    Try multiple condoms?


    No, this can increase the risk of them slipping off or breaking.

    Varies massively for me. I would say on average 10-15 minutes of fucking, but with a change of position (or two) we're talking maybe 20 minutes from inital penetration to ejaculation. Sometimes I just can't hold back though and it's sooner. If I can stop myself quickly enough I will usually pull out, suck his dick for a while then start up again.
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    Oct 26, 2011 10:44 AM GMT
    RedheadedRy saidIt takes me forever to cum when I top, especially with a condom. Sometimes it's not even possible for me to climax with the bag. Which just lets me focus on pleasing the man under/in front of me.

    To be more specific: I have topped for 20-30 min stopping only to change positions.

    I am circumcised as well. I like the look and hygiene of being cut, but hate the insensitivity. Don't even get me started on oral: takes me about an hour and a half to cum from getting blown, and some guys don't have the technique or determination to get me there).

    We need to talk.
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    Oct 26, 2011 11:05 AM GMT
    RedheadedRy saidIt takes me forever to cum when I top, especially with a condom. Sometimes it's not even possible for me to climax with the bag. Which just lets me focus on pleasing the man under/in front of me.

    To be more specific: I have topped for 20-30 min stopping only to change positions.

    I am circumcised as well. I like the look and hygiene of being cut, but hate the insensitivity. Don't even get me started on oral: takes me about an hour and a half to cum from getting blown, and some guys don't have the technique or determination to get me there).


    I'm the same way!
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    Oct 26, 2011 11:39 AM GMT
    I'm uncut. I last for hours and I'm a multiple cummer and have a habit of staying hard even after blowing. I last as long as I need to in order to make sure my partner's happiness could be mistaken for a seizure followed by a repeat performance. icon_twisted.gif
  • tuffguyndc

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    Oct 26, 2011 12:02 PM GMT
    uberick saidI know this similar question has been asked in various forms, but usually in the hetero context on medical websites and from untrustworthy yahoo answers, so I am turning to RJers for answers.

    My question is how long do you last (as a top) from penetration to ejaculation? And what do you to last longer?

    When I have sex with my partner, I am so worked up during the foreplay, that by the time we are ready for anal, I usually only last 1 or 2 minutes of pumping before getting to the point of no return. While I can (and I have) try various things such as switching position, stop and go, to make the session last longer, but as soon as I start pumping again, it is matter of 10-20 seconds before I know I am about to cum so I stop and wait again. I think this feels unsatisfactory for my partner and it bothers me. So I am looking for advice to work up the duration for each pumping "set".

    ha ha ha start j/o a few times before you have sex. also you can start working out. that's if you are not already working out. that usually helps me. also start thinking about something else when you are pumping. hell you can also stop bumping or do it when you are j/o. when you are j/o getting close stop and keep doing that and will help you improve
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    RPMSoccer saidMaybe you need more experience being a top?

    Perhaps you could j/o earlier in the day so that it takes longer for you to come the second time at night...?

    Have you considered focusing even more on your partner's orgasm?

    Have you considered the grip-and-jerk the balls maneuver that helps to bring down the rise toward coming?

    I'm sure others have some good ideas...



    Thanks for your advices. I think I need more practice. While I think a pre-sex JO may help, I tend to save my load to impress my bf, lol.

    I am always trying to satisfy my bf, and that's my drive for wanting to last longer. Thinking about orgasm (whether mine or my bf's) is a stimulating thought which will only make me cum faster.

    Didn't know of the grip-and-jerk maneuver before; I will definitely give it a try.
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    There are a couple of things that you can do but the main one is to absolutely MASTER your breathing.

    When you have sex you probably find yourself taking quick shallow breaths. Let's look at it from the evolutionary biology angle. If you were a primitive human living int he wilderness, imagine what cues your body would take to determing how quickly or slowly to complete an action.

    Think about anything you do that requires quick shallow breaths. That type of breathing is always associated with running or being anxious etc.
    So if you begin to breath like that, your body will say "wow I should do whatever I am doing at a faster rate than I am currently doing it now." It can't tell the difference between running or having sex.

    Human males have a natural predisposition toward "premature ejaculation" because up until very recent history it make perfect sense. Mating up until the last few hundred years was way more business than pleasure. If you were a primitive human taking all day to get your nut off in the middle of the african savannah.......something ate your ass. So we evolved to be able to ejaculate fairly quickly like most other animals.

    When you take evolutionary biology into account, taking a long time to have sex is extremely risky, dangerous and inefficient so you are fighting an uphill battle against nature here.

    When you breath deeply and slowly, you recalibrate your endocrine system away from the fight or flight response, which is in high gear during sex. The next time you masturbate, try breathing as deeply and slowly as you possibly can. You may feel some intermittent uretheral contractions but you will not be able to work yourself up to the point of ejaculating near as quickly because your breathing and heart rate will not be high enough for your brain to justify releasing semen at that point.

    The shallow quick breaths though, will make you a loser shot than dick cheyne on a duck hunt. Just try it. There's science behind it, and it's way easier to to master than all those kegels and things.


    Thanks for this thoughtful and interesting advice. Never knew that breathing can be so important in sex, and I will definitely give this a try!
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    Oct 27, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    likewatuc saidWow. 2 minutes?

    Is this what I'm in for?

    Damn then I ain't giving head for shit. LOL!

    *No offense to the OP. Just shocked.*


    How long do you last from penetration to ejaculation?
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    Oct 27, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    I last until the other guy orgasms. I refuse to orgasm until the other guy does. There's this exercise you can do by pretending to hold back from peeing... I'm not sure how to describe it, but when you do it your anus clenches. Think about the muscle contraction you make happen when you are trying to hold back your urine without any hands. Do that. Practice. Also edging when jerking off is good practice too. It didn't take me too long to develop strong control over my orgasm.

    Although I'm pretty lucky because I can cum on demand too... that's always fun :-)
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    Oct 28, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidLess than five minutes. I don't keep a stopwatch or anything but I know how to time it.

    I always disclose I am nervous, inexperienced etc. well before any shirts get popped off. Especially on this one, the cat left the bag about ten minutes after we met.

    The one I am with now, recovering drug addict, is much more in tune with me than anyone else in the past. Very understanding, very willing to work up to more endurance. Very warm spirit, very comfortable cuddling when that is about all that's left to do for the time being.

    He says it is a compliment to how hot he is. It is a big compliment, he is way hotter than anyone has ever talked to me before and on top of that he just turned 18. After reading the "seven types bad for you" thread I no longer mention our differences that way but in the back of my mind I still wonder why of all the possibilities, he even talks to me, let alone facebook friended me after our first night.

    I still feel like a failure though. I am amazed he still texts back.


    Your answer is completely preposterous. icon_biggrin.gif "bows"
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    Oct 28, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    If there's a pillow involved, I'm asleep...icon_redface.gif
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    Oct 28, 2011 7:34 AM GMT
    I can last indefinitely, normally my legs get tired first. I can also keep going after I´ve "finished" ;)
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    Oct 28, 2011 9:56 PM GMT
    uberick, the average time for sex involving intercourse is 5.4 minutes for the man who is the pitcher so to speak.

    Don't try several condoms, you will risk them breaking due to friction.

    Do try that exercise someone mentioned about peeing and then holding it for sometime. You can also try to clench you butt for 8-10 seconds and then release. Repeat a couple times. These muscles of the pelvic floor are also used to hold constrict the urethra that allows you to hold ejaculation and urine.
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    Oct 28, 2011 10:02 PM GMT
    8 hrs
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    Oct 29, 2011 7:46 AM GMT
    I am bi and I had only woman in my formative years. I can last as long as I want because I am used to waiting and wanting my partner to orgasm first. Even if I mastubate I take a long time. I guess I have always taken a long time except the first few times at age 12 hahaha.icon_lol.gif

    FYI- I read Native American Indians writings about the different male shaped penises and how they work or don't work well with different vaginas for acheiving mutual orgasms.

    The deer is smaller thinner quick and light they usually point upward when hard- they cum fast, but usually can do it again really soon. They get excited easily.

    The bear is thicker, sometimes curved up, sometimes straight. They are thicker at the base smaller at the head and take longer to orgasm than the deer. They can be ready after a brief rest.

    The bison or buffalo are thickest, straight when hard or downward pointing. They enjoy more forplay and last very long and usually have one huge orgasm then longer rest.

    There are different shaped vaginas with different animal names too, but I doubt guys on here give a hang about that-so I won't go into it. None were called the beaver thoughicon_eek.gif

    American Indians spent alot of thought sex and on cock and pussyicon_idea.gif

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    Oct 29, 2011 7:49 AM GMT
    I can last as long or as short as my top needs me too. Though for some reason i cum first, I can take it till he goes ;) i aim to please...so just cause I get off doesnt mean my work is done hehehe
  • FJansen

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    Oct 29, 2011 10:04 PM GMT
    I last a long, LONG time. Especially when I get a bj. So I can really lay back and enjoy it.
    I don't get around at all though, don't be mistaken. I guess what you could do to last longer is focus on something else. When your nervous it might help prolong the experience but that doesn't turn on and off.
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    Oct 29, 2011 10:18 PM GMT
    Who's cum just landed on my hair? Not cool people, not cool! >=(
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    Oct 29, 2011 10:26 PM GMT
    I last a long time. Like really long. Am like a duracell bunny. We go longer, harder and further hehe
    I can fuck all night without cumming. Even after orgasm I can get right back into fuckmode. icon_twisted.gif

    my refractory period is low/non-existent
  • FJansen

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    Oct 29, 2011 10:29 PM GMT
    Lux_ saidI last a long time. Like really long. Am like a duracell bunny. We go longer, harder and further hehe
    I can fuck all night without cumming. Even after orgasm I can get right back into fuckmode. icon_twisted.gif

    my refractory period is low/non-existent


    Call me.
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    Oct 29, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    As a top can go for 3hrs or more with most guys, as a bottom I last as long as the top does or longer depending on how he feels inside of me!