What might turn a guy off about you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 4:00 AM GMT
    Ok. So here's the deal. This particular thread was created after looking at another thread and it seems like the majoroty of people here nearly had virtually the same turn offs. Fair enough. Some were valid and very well thought of while others seemed a bit on the critical side and down right picky to the max. Regardless of who said what turns them off it definately makes one wonder why alot of you here are still single (Yeah, I said it. So what). So here's your challenge.

    Now let's play a little game called ownership. This is part where you own up to your flaws and possible things that might turn a guy off about you. Seems everyone is so quick to judge others and say what they don't like about so what do you think others might not like about you in respects to what turn them off. If you are man enough and can see the benefit from this little experiment then you'll answer. I'm hoping everyone that replied to this threads cousin will reply to this one. If not, then you've answered a side question that I had about people here being self-deluded into thinking they are perfect as is and sadly that reality simply doesn't exsist.

    My flaws: (besides my not hot appearance)

    Too confident (possibly cocky and arrogant)
    Average fit (I don't hit the gym every day and I have my lazy moments...they outweigh my gym days.)
    Talkative (could be a fem trait...excuse me for being inquisitive)
    Openly gay but doesn't play kiss n' tell
    Can be immature at times
    Lacking a PHD
    Sometimes I don't brush my teeth or take a shower (it happens)
    Bad attitude towards those with attitudes
    Sometimes I'm a hypocrite
    Not apologetic
    Childish and sometimes too playful
    Sarcastic, pesstimistic and cynical
    Sometimes makes comments that makes me appear stupid
    Sometimes makes comments that makes others apper stupid
    (In my world my mind says I'm being helpful but my heart say I'm being hurtful...shut up heart.)
    Bitchy (gay) at times.

    There are a few more but hopefully you get the point.

    My shit does stink and it reaches to High Heaven. Even makes a spiritual figure say "Oh lord."

    What about you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 4:28 AM GMT
    I'm hardly ever home always at work. That's enough for any person I'm in a relationship with to not like me.

    I've started to hate vacationing- I feel I always have to be productive or I'm wasting time and I get paranoid.

    I have lost the ability to get away and relax. I get moody and become a short tempered asshole if I'm not at work or doing something I should be doing.

    I'm bad at returning calls or texts. Really bad. Unless its from work or school.

    I hate making phone calls to anyone. So I always get the "How come you never call me?" I always feel like I'm bothering someone when I call them, or they might be doing something important.

    I'm always on the go! I hardly ever stop just look around anywhere. If I go somewhere, I get what I need and leave.
    Every time someone is with me I won't let them get side tracked.

    basically I'm always in a rush... usually in a rush for no reason. That pisses people off.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 5:58 AM GMT
    well i would go with my lack of spellchecking or proper form when writing email and such.

    the fact that i'm short 5'6

    that i take my job seriously and will not blow it off to just hang out on a thursday night with you till 3am drinking in some bar, i need 6 hours of sleep at least or no one will be happy.

    i do not have 3% body fat! (and never will deal with it)

    the fact that sometimes all i want to do is sit at home alone and read in my undies listening to my ipod.

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    May 30, 2008 6:09 AM GMT
    Sometimes I display arrogance/bravado to impress others, but it often works oppositely.
    A guy had been staring at me in the gym for months. Whenever I turned, I always caught him looking my way. It was almost creepy, but not entirely. He was slowly but surely working his way closer and closer, week after week. About two weeks ago he finally hopped on an adjacent cardio machine. I never saw him do cardio in 4 months. Anyway, a friend of mine (who was on the other side of me) stated loudly that he saw someone was staring at me. I proclaimed in a cocky tone, "They all stare." What a dick! Five minutes later my admirer hopped-off the machine and out the door. Ever since that day - he avoids my gaze, he has never looked my way again and he keeps his distance. Coincidence?
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    May 30, 2008 6:16 AM GMT
    I'm a floral designer
    I'm "too" tall
    I change my mind constantly
    A superiority complex
    Nit-picky about strange things
    Asks very bizarre-off-the-wall questions
    I Gesticulate when I speak
    I care too much
    I get attached too quickly
    Don't have the greatest self-confidence
    I don't know how to "act straight" (because I have no idea - and don't care to define - what that is).
  • tharyin

    Posts: 5

    May 30, 2008 6:22 AM GMT
    I jokingly call people names, never realizing it just might actually hurt them
    My beard will grow full length in one day flat
    I have no goals in life
    I need to know I'm loved constantly
    I tend to read too much into peoples actions / words
    My favorite hobby might be complaining
    My legs are pretty hairy
    I wish I were a house wife
    I avoid having to work like the plague
    I go through several mood changes a day
    My breath smells in the morning
    I throw some baby oil in my hair and call it combed
    I spend too much money on underwear
    I like to cry over sad movies
    I'm pretty shy when meeting new people
    Also, as a result of this post, I've just become a manic depressive /sigh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 6:52 AM GMT
    Ahhh to list all the things about myself I find fault with would take at least a full year lol. A few highlights would be...

    ~ My big belly. I'm working on fixing this, but as of right now I can't stand the sight of my belly.

    ~ I can take jokes too far sometimes.

    ~ I can get moody at the drop of a hat on occasion

    ~ My horrible spelling and grammer hehe.

    ~ I have a REALLY annoying hic-up.

    ~ I'm a very touchy-feely person. I like physical contact.

    ~ I have a twisted sence of humor, sometimes morbid.

    ~ I always wonder what others are thinking about me, or if they think about me at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 6:57 AM GMT
    Sounds like you are all human to me. I'm finding it heartening to read about your quirks rather than your supposedly perfect lives which is what you mostly get to see in men's profiles.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 6:58 AM GMT
    You guys have all turned me off with your self flaws and for merely being human. LOL.
    I hope I've done the same for you too icon_twisted.gif

    Where are the rest of the "unperfect's"?

    Don't make me name drop (and I will like the arrogant, cocky, sarcastic, smug son-of-a-bitch that I am.)

    I do what I want icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 8:02 AM GMT

    Some of the things might include:

    * Not being perfect (Go jump)
    * Too in your face at times
    * I have no problems discussing the hard stuff, or hearing/telling the hard words!
    * I'm not anybody's pet
    * I'm not slutty
    * I am not snobish, but I like the fine things in life
    * I snuggle and I'm very loving, always loving. My current guy doesn't seem to like this. icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 8:19 AM GMT

    My bad traits and turn off are:

    Im coldly logical
    I fluxate from giddy,gay,happy/cold,effciant,quiet.
    My english is bad.
    I have a sharp toung.
    I alway question people.
    I always think someones lieing till I see evadance.
    I have lied about my true identity and personality for years and will continue untill I leave the island.
    I Don't agree with ANY religion. though horascopes are fun.
    I undermine people.
    Talk alot when Im giddy.
    as well as inturpt.
    Im mislead people and lead them on.
    I lie to people. REALY NEEDS TO STOP.
    I honestly HONESTLY dont like anyone.
    Ill love my parents and whomever But its rare I like you.
    death does not phaze me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 10:15 AM GMT
    I hate to do the dishes.

    If you don't intoroduce me right away, consider the night ruined.

    If you talk about school, you might as well take that chicken wing you are chewing on and shove it up your ass.

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 30, 2008 10:27 AM GMT
    Don't have a laundry list
    ... and maybe that's a flaw in itself, who knows
    but I'd have to say my relative shyness with new people
    I'm fine once I know someone but my stand-offishness
    is always misconstrued as having Attitude
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 11:09 AM GMT
    • Not confident (I just make do with false confidence)
    • Too thin as of yet
    • Introverted
    • Childish
    • Have an irrational fear of rejection/Interpret people's
      actions as negatively pertaining to me, i.e. Paranoid
    • Almost no temper, but when I'm angry I go berserk
    • I smoke
    • Irresponsible
    • Don't do well under stress
    • I do not take compliments well
    • I'm perfectly happy to be on the sidelines even when I did most of the work
    • Being a clumsy dork when I'm with someone I find attractive
    • Hate spectator sports
    • Too conciliatory, even at my own expense
    • My nerdy interests
    • My features
    • Too trusting
    • Manic-Depressive
    • Tend to distance myself from things that can hurt me emotionally (though that never works LOL)
    • Hate being made to feel stupid or accused of lying

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 11:18 AM GMT
    Oh man, there could be a bunch of reasons....let me think:

    -Im more a home body, dont go out too much.
    -I can be too blunt
    -I can be to nice
    -I go to the gym too much (some friends have told me that)
    -My face....people say I can look mean sometimes...I just think its the way my eyebrows are shaped.
    -Im not completely out yet. A lot of guys didnt like that when I was single.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16461

    May 30, 2008 11:59 AM GMT
    Well everyone has a few things that can be construed as negative by some, but not so by others. These are some that I know can be issues:

    *Can come across as arrogant and detached by those who don't know me or have spoken to me

    *Very structured in an anal kind of way. While I have improved here, I have priorities that would leave others scratching their heads. If my lawn doesn't look great, it must be corrected. Fortunately there isn't very many things that I'm anal about. My teeth and workouts rank as well. At least my car doesn't "have" to be spotless anymore.

    *Don't share the same priorities as some gay men. While many prioritize social activities, I may have other things to consider, not that I don't enjoy social time.

    *Occasionally (not frequently) I have the old kickback to my high school insecurities in a unfamiliar social setting and become very quiet and uncomfortable. Most of the time I'm outgoing, friendly, etc, but thats learned behavior.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 12:40 PM GMT
    I am shy, and at times can become withdrawn and uncommunicative, especially when I am depressed or really tired. I can also be stubborn at times.

    A few other things:

    - I rarely watch TV;
    - I am pretty fussy about movies (hate horror or violent movies);
    - I hate cooking (fortunately I am willing to eat out).

    Some guys might not like my hairy chest, or my greying hair. I refuse to shave my chest or use hair dye.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 12:45 PM GMT
    I know things, and I share them, this can come across as arrogant or superiority complex.

    I'm not patient with people who don't appear to be trying.

    I have opinions, on most things. I voice them vociferously. This can come across as arrogant and controlling even when I just want to discuss things.

    I'm short, this is a hangup for some.
    I'm primarily a top, this is a hangup for some combined with the shortness.

    I have goals, this is a hangup for those who don't.

    I'd rather be out in nature or home or hanging with a few people than in a loud raucous club.

    I LIKE long intellectual discussion about random subjects. Even things related to work.
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 474

    May 30, 2008 1:24 PM GMT
    Im blunt
    I use very bad punctiuation and spelling
    i hit the gym but otherwise im kinda lazy
    i probubly have many others
    oh yes as it was put to me im amzingly blunt.
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    May 30, 2008 1:39 PM GMT
    Without being rude, I cut right to the chase and dismiss bullshit and nonsense. This turns people off cause i don't speak the language or walk the walk....which in turn , Makes people think I am walking all over them or a snob.....maybe I am cause there are a lot of grinning idiots out there.
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    May 30, 2008 1:41 PM GMT
    I am a little bit overweight
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    May 30, 2008 1:43 PM GMT
    Once a year I get split ends.
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    May 30, 2008 1:54 PM GMT
    Aside from having no body fat, a full head of hair and a sparkling personality? Oh wait, wrong thread... he he he

    I tend to run hot and cold with people. I will spend a lot of time with you are talking to you then drop off the face of the earth for a few days or a week.
    I obsess over stupid things
    wishy washy/flakey
    always 5-10 mins late (except for work)
    Cocky shit talker
    bit of a snob, but for all the wrong reasons (just cause its funny to be affected)
    Have a dark side that is not easily shared
    emotionally distant at times
    spend 2.5 hours a week in therapy
    I am ridiculously indecisive at restaurants - if we ever get around to choosing one.
    I'll put my dogs needs before yours.
    I am a little timid in approaching guys (9years of a relationship to get over)
    I come with my own baggage, but will avoid yours.
    I complain about night life
    Don't flip over fashion, sex in the city, gay divas, etc.
    Not a str8 acting gay
    Occasionally smoke. I regularly drink and toke.
    easily distracted and slightly stir crazy.
    Love to go out but prefer to nest
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    May 30, 2008 2:21 PM GMT
    I'm too sustainable and gay dudes aren't ready to grow up and date a guy like me. Except for the ones older than me. But I like guys younger than me. That is challenging right off the bat.

    OK now that I've got the egotistical response out of the way, here's what I think turns off guys:

    - I completely despise the idea of cocaine and refuse to even try it.
    - They discover I'm not as much of an aggressive top and they assume I am.
    - I don't get into pop culture.
    - I'm uncut and they're too much of a wuss to open their minds to it.
    - "puff puff pass"
    - I have my own path, so I'm not looking to be rescued or piggy back on someone else's life.
    - I often seem immature for my age and perhaps some chalk it up to bumping my head one too many times.
    - I've lived here for 13 years. Old news?
    - Not sexually aggressive enough. I like trust and conversation and sharing activities, then long foreplay, then safe sex, then whatever. But that takes weeks if not months.
    - I can make a fool of myself in public.
    - I am willing and able to talk about sensitive issues honestly, and that can be off-putting to someone who equates honesty with drama.
    - I eat all kinds of funky stuff, so I think my breath can be kickin' sometimes. But I always have mints.

    So basically, I'm undateable! ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
    Some facets of my personality I like and my friends and associates admire - the structure, discipline, perfectionism are good, positive things. I can see, however that there could be someone who doesn't know me who might see those traits as intimidating, patrician, aloof.

    I do a whole lot for others and I expect appreciation, if nothing else, otherwise I eventualy turn off - and I guess this could be seen as hard, rigid or unbending.

    In short, I try to be a really good, hard working, contributing guy and I try to eliminate any faults about myself......that old English/German perfectionism is in my blood, I guess.