Exs now friends

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2007 6:34 PM GMT
    I was wondering just how many people have exs who are now your friends. I hear some people can do it but for me it ended up being worse and messing everything up. prepare for a LONG story!

    My ex Alex and I decided to be friends. Our friend Augie was dating this guy Richard, Richard breaks up with Augie because he is girly and dates Alex. I'm pissed because Augie is calling crying to me every night about Alex and Richard, so I tell Alex straight up Richard is drama and I don't like him, and how dare Alex dates Augie's ex the day after they break up. He should have never even went out with Richard. Anyway I'm seen as the jealous ex. Alex stops talking to me( and honestly I'm still in love with Alex so him cutting me out of his life was hurtful)

    Alex and Richard break up, Alex blames me for talking badly on Richard. And that he couldn't trust Richard and always questioned him because of me...which is just the way Alex is because he was like that with me, and neither me nor Richard gave him any reason to believe he were cheating or would. We spent almost all our time with him(besides work and classes) Any my friend Augie has had a FAT crush on Alex, and even though Augie was hurt by Alex, he is only talking and hanging out with Alex. I'm not nothing to them anymore.

    I don't know I've heard some people can be friends with their exs but when I tried it was nothing but drama and a major headache. I feel like I'm in an episode of Passions!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 22, 2007 10:35 PM GMT
    As the amazing Kelly Clarkson said...

    "Just walk away."

    You do not need all of this aggravation. I had my heart broken recently, but I have come to realize that it was definitely for the best. Pick up the pieces and move on. There are so many opportunities out there and use this trying experience as a stepping stone to building stronger, more mature relationships in the months and years to come.

    I have become very good friends with two of the guys I had dated exclusively for a decent period of time. The evolution of our new relationship only came about with time, distance, new life experiences and therefore a clearer perspective, healing, and reaffirmed sense of direction to our lives.

    Best of luck to you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 22, 2007 11:53 PM GMT
    I think a lot depends on the situation and reasons the breakup occurred in the first place.

    I also think that you still need a period of time with no contact after the breakup, in order to adjust to not thinking of the person as your significant other. Having lingering feelings (especially still being in love with them) is probably a no-no if you really want to build a stable friendship afterward.

    I've been able to maintain friendships with probably half of my exes. But then, I never had an issue with anyone cheating on me. I also tend to shy away from friends and acquaintances who have cheating tendencies. I find that this alone significantly cuts down on the drama in my life.

    Basically, when a relationship ends in a mutually respectable way, and you both really want to keep a friendship (and only a friendshup), I think it is a bit easier to cultivate a stable friendship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 23, 2007 1:54 AM GMT
    I'd agree with what was written here that if there's respect in the relationship and the separation, there can be respect afterwards. I got dizzy just in readying this initial story, and I still couldn't figure it out completely.

    In a side note, my ex of 16 years and I are getting together tomorrow night for dinner. He's living 1500 miles away, but is up here for vacation. We've managed to really move our relationship from partnership to friendship, and it's been mostly because of mutual respect. I can't say it's entirely easy (or finished), but we talk a good amount and get along well, which is all you can ask.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 24, 2007 1:20 AM GMT
    You can have relationships with your ex's. It all depends upon how the relationship ended.

    Your situation however seems like there is a lot, and I mean a lot of drama involved here. It may take a while for the dust to settle and your able to pick up the pieces.

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 29, 2007 12:54 PM GMT
    Fabs...what were you thinkin?
    It's not the being friends with an Ex that got you in trouble but the talking about one of them behind their back that did it

    ....next time when one comes cryin to you about another tell them that you can't get involved
    because it will and has - come round to bite you in the ass