DEPRESSION IS SO REAL..........sad but very true..

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  Jun 23, 2008 2:09 AM GMT

  I mean like right now I'm experiencing the worst depression of my life, and I just hate it when a family member or friend that doesn't really understand what I feel like. Says just get up and shake it off, if only it was that simple. Have any of you guys experienced such a down and how did you come out of it or if your going through it how do you deal....

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  Jun 23, 2008 5:07 AM GMT

  YEA I HAVE, and am there right now...
  It was really bad back in winter time, just had my tonsils out, and emergency surgery about 10 days after, in which the doctors told me to have complete bed rest for 3 weeks, and no working out, or talking or singing for about 6 weeks total. I was a total mess, there were some not so good thoughts(of course a lot could have been from the meds I was on). My friends understood to let me be, one was just annoying, she said I needed to hang out and that it was stupid that be all sulky and moody alone. To tell you the truth I think it proablyb made me even that more depressed.
  The best thing to do it to workout and go running. I have been getting depressed easily lately, and its because I haven't been sticking to diet/workout. Make sure to eat natural occuring things, stay away from sugars(which causes blood sugar to rise, which may contribute to mood swings), and fast food/MSG, believe it or not, I have a confirming theory, that MSG causes most mood swings and depression. Also make sure to get enough fresh air and sun, as these too without can bring mood levels low.
  And I think forums and RJ help me out of these depressions as well.
  
  
  

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  Jun 23, 2008 5:27 AM GMT

  alltherage saidI mean like right now I'm experiencing the worst depression of my life, and I just hate it when a family member or friend that doesn't really understand what I feel like...

  You may need professional help. Seriously, what have you got to lose by finding a counselor or therapist.
  
  For most people, depression is "real," in that real events have beaten them down into a hole. However, it's the hole that is the real problem. Inside the hole is a lot of inertia to keep you there, much of it neurological and hormonal.
  
  A professional can help you sort out the circumstances (the "real" stuff) from the hole (your body's response to it), and give you devices, advice or medication to help you get out. The help will be real, direct and appropriate. I hope you can find the energy to make a phone call to get started.

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  Jun 23, 2008 5:35 AM GMT

  I know exactly what you mean. There use to be an ad on TV by one of the drug companies that I thought really showed how it was.... and you're right, you can't snap out of it. As Micky said, you need professional help, there is soooo much they can do to help you. Consider making a call to the dr and let them try and give you something to even out the chemicals that cause the problems.
  
  It's hard but you can get through it... just don't be afraid to ask for help. Everyone wants you to be back to yourself, it's not just you.
  
  Good luck guy... we're pulling for you!

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  Jun 23, 2008 5:36 AM GMT

  If you have any thoughts of hurting yourself...PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP ASAP!
  
  I have suffered with depression most of my life...and I ain't talking about "feeling blue" or "bummed out". DEPRESSION is a VERY REAL bio-chemical variance in the brain and it is a VERY REAL MEDICAL ISSUE.
  YOU need to see a PSYCHIATRIST for medication to put your brain chemistry back in order and a psychologist to help sort out the issues.
  My depression is genetic and comes from both sides of my family. I had taken Prozac for many years, although I have not been on it for the past 4 years, since I lost all of my weight.....I suffer very badly from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the winter.
  Many years ago it was bad enough, that I attempted suicide 3 times and actually died...and they shocked me back to life, thank god!
  
  Many family members are unwilling to talk or share their personal expereinces and family members don't understand how or why or what you are depressed over. That's why it is SO IMPORTANT that you take responsibility for helping yourself, before it gets worse. Trust me, depression can always get worse, with out medical care. There is no shame in getting medical mental healthcare and it is often the first sign of improvement, when you go for help.
  Do it NOW and don't wait or try to ratioanlize away the pro and cons of getting help. These are "time waster activities" that will only further damage you and delay your healthy comeback.
  Just understand that depressions develope over time, and it takes time for them to lessen. There is no magic cure, but time and good care...and good meds if you can get them!
  I understand where you are coming from and I believe many on this site will as well. There are a few actual professional psychologists and MD's on this site. Maybe they will see your post and help refere you to some local services.
  Exercise is a proven treatement for some forms of depression, so keep up the exercise. Nutrition is a huge component...if the brain is malnurished, it can't produce/receive the amino acids and specific chemicals it needs to work best....check your diet and your vitamins, mineral, protiens, fats, carbos, etc.
  Water...H2O...make sure you are drinking enough.....dehydration, even slightly over a long term, can appear as a depression or in worse cases as a mental disorder. In general, for a man of 150 lbs...drink a MINIMUM of 64 OZ of water...for every 5 lbs over 150 lbs, ADD 8 oz of water.....MORE if you work out and sweat alot, if you live in a desert climate, or if you are taking certain meds or doing large amounts of protein supplementation......WATER IS CRITICAL....and is only second to AIR as a requirement for life....
  Please, get the help you need and deserve.....Please.
  Be well and get better!
  Sporty_G

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  Jun 23, 2008 5:56 AM GMT

  K, so I did all that, because it's solid advice - I went to my doctor, I was put on a waitlist for a shrink and a dose of medication. Interesting side effect though...it kind of made me straight. Like, straight to the exclusion of gay. I stopped taking the meds about a month ago, and 'bam' I like the cock.
  
  So my quandary is thus: straight and happy or gay and depressed?
  
  ;)
  
  I don't need to be lectured on the merits of being gay or straight - believe me, I've spent a LOT of time thinking about it. But the psychiatrist I saw didn't really seem all that interested..in anything about me. I was in and then driving away in my car in about 35 minutes. ><
  
  *shrugs*

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  Jun 23, 2008 6:13 AM GMT

  New doctor, if you can.

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  Jun 23, 2008 6:28 AM GMT

  BioMatty saidK, so I did all that, because it's solid advice - I went to my doctor, I was put on a waitlist for a shrink and a dose of medication. Interesting side effect though...it kind of made me straight. Like, straight to the exclusion of gay. I stopped taking the meds about a month ago, and 'bam' I like the cock.

  It's common for many SRI's to inhibit sexual desire. You probably experienced that. Some will inhibit an erection, or maybe make you indifferent to sex. It is just a side effect. I bet you could find one that does not have those side effects for you. My ex takes Cymbalta which works for him

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  Jun 23, 2008 12:01 PM GMT

  Hi alltherage,
  I've been in therapy for almost two years now (whoa) and it has helped a lot for me. Unfortunately the process of healing is slow because 20+ years of harmful learned behavior; the depression signified that my body couldn't take my unhelpful ways of beating up on myself, finding people who could empathize, and just not taking good care of myself.
  
  A good professional therapist will try to understand you, but it takes a long time because you make up so many experiences of the past how-long-have-you-been-born years.
  
  If I had to give you advice I've gotten to save you money, some of it would include to find someone who _will_ take the time to understand you. It will help immensely with coming to terms with how you feel (though it's possible but much harder to do it yourself), and also help with any future encounters. If you can't just "get up and shake it off" that means that your body and mind needs more time to process it and that will simply take more time.
  
  And I definitely agree about putting one foot forward after another, as hard as it may be. Make a (manageable) list of things you have to get done, do some, cross them off. Go workout. Go do something fun (that's not obsessive). It's hard but if you can get yourself to do at least some things accomplished, you're on the road to recovery.

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  Jun 23, 2008 12:10 PM GMT

  When I was experiencing my medically-induced depression, I was given antidepressants. They helped stabilize me. But what really made me feel human again was GABA (gamma-amino butyric acid), which can be found in any vitamin store or organic food market.
  
  Also, there is 5-HTP (5-hydroxy tryptophan). It does the same thing.
  
  These are both precursors of serotonin, which is the mood stabilizer neurotransmitter in the brain.

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Jun 23, 2008 12:32 PM GMT

  Fortunately I've not experienced depression beyond your very typical "adjustment and acceptance" after something doesn't go the best. I generally view the event as something positive in the end and it snaps me out of it after about a day.
  
  I realize that the above is nothing like what is being discussed here. I've had friends that have suffered from real depression. One friend several years ago seemed to "fall under the veil of a haze" as he used to describe it. He knew I was concerned and did seek help. I was amazed how medication made such a difference to him, in his situation. Today you'd never know he had ever had an issue.

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• Rowing_Ant
  
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  Jun 23, 2008 12:55 PM GMT

  Drop me a PM mate. Been there, done that....diagnosed as potentially Manic Depressive.
  
  Its not nice and still has one heck of a lot of stigma attached to it.
  
  I know its hard but try and keep positive and focus on positive things, even if just small things. I know that is easier said than done but take one day at a time, even if its just getting out of bed and pottering, that is doing something and being positive. Somedays I know you dont want to eve get out of bed...but you need to take charge of this illness and try and beat it. Its hard and it can be painful for you and for others....
  
  yeah drop me a PM.

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  Jun 23, 2008 1:39 PM GMT

  First, it's a good thing that you've acknowledged you are experiencing depression because many people don't acknowledge it or think they can just shake it off! (Mistake)
  
  Hopefully you are able to see a professional to help you determine what's going on and offer suggestions for treatment/assistance. If you're not getting outside when the weather's nice, you could be vitamin D-deficient. (Diet is a factor here as well.)
  
  No, I'm not a doctor but I will say you are not alone. Good luck to you!!

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  Jun 23, 2008 2:12 PM GMT

  From what I have read I've learned that depression is a hereditary thing. It must be really hard to deal with. I 've never had any depression issues, but I think we all experience down times.
  
  Not to sound cliche, but my advice is to focus on the good in your life. No matter what you might think, there has to be at least one thing in your life that makes you smile!

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  Jun 23, 2008 2:35 PM GMT

  Dr. Jakyl has some great advice. Psychiatrists can be very hard to get into and most times the first anti-depressant you try won't be the right one. You often have to do a trial and error. The more times you try, the closer you will get. I would talk to your family doctor as well and look at a counselor. I have been in therapy for years for many issues, but kinda the same thing that Jakyl spelled out. Everyone is different. Just remember that a anti-depressant is not a miracle cure all. There are many things you can do to make youself healthier and try and be happier. Exercise, diet, reflection, natural remedies, reaching out to friends, slowing down your life, getting a pet, etc. These are all things that will help. Personally, anti-depressents make me feel medicated and I do not like the whole idea behind them for my persoanl growth. But they really can help you if you get the right one. Don't ifgnore a mental health issue, but make sure you are not just leaning on a pill to make you happy.
  
  Good luck man. Remember, this too shall pass.

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  Jun 23, 2008 2:47 PM GMT

  i was there last fall, really bad; you're not yourself when depressed, and no one gets that. its like all the color drains outa your world, and nothing has any power to make you happy- you loose interest in your favorite things, and loose motivation to do anything- you don't want to be around anyone because you're sulky but then you hate yourself for hiding in your room and you wish someone would take enough interest in you to help you out of it- and the worst part is that everything blows up in significance, like how on the worst day even the littlest thing can set one off; so that everything is taken personally and is blown out of proportion. its awful, especially when there isn't even a cause for it that you can mentally attack. i especially know what you mean about ppl not understanding 'cause when i was racked with it last fall i lived in my fraternity house and everyone thought it was just being bitchy for no reason- well, they chalked it up to me being gay, which wasn't kewl. then everyone just ignored me for the quarter 'cause they thought i wanted space, when i actually wanted them to show some interest in me and help me like brothers- so i felt written off on top of it all. i feel u man- not much to do but to try and exercise, force yourself out among friends, take the meds, and get sun.

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• gym_rat_7
  
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  Jun 23, 2008 2:59 PM GMT

  I have the seasonal depression in the winter...probably due to little sunshine exposure. But sometimes depression creeps up on me at other times.
  
  You are correct that some people cannot understand it unless they experience it first hand. It is like a straight person saying that being gay is a choice. They simply do not have the mental/emotional maturity required to understand that someone else feels differently.
  
  I have personally taken the over-the-counter supplement called SAM-E and it works for me in about 3 to 4 days..then I stay on it for two weeks to be sure I don't relapse into depression. Give it a try. It is safe and over-the-counter at SamsClub or your local pharmacy.
  
  Sometimes I can do heavy workouts and those get me past the depression a little...or at least help me deal with it better.
  
  But, please know you are not alone. Just ignore those folks that don't understand and realize they are trying to help...but they really have no idea of what you are going through and therefore cannot offer real advice. Sometimes I just have to go through the motions of life until I start feeling better and that can be tough...but I know that brighter days will come.

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  Jun 23, 2008 3:01 PM GMT

  One thing I have embraced only recently is that change happens around us everyday. The one thing we can not expect is for change to come by our door and knock until we get out of bed and answer the door. We have to invite change and be patient with it when it does not come quickly or swiftly. Pain can make minutes seem like hours, but there are many hours in our lives, most of which we quickly forget and move past.Its hard to take an active role in your life all the time. Press on and try to work on the things you can change and improve, identify the things you can't and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. We are only human.

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  Jun 23, 2008 10:13 PM GMT

  I know all too well what you are going through. I grew up surrounded by clinically depressed people although I did not understand what was going on until my teens. I have had three untreated clinical depressions in my life between 19 and 25. Maybe a fourth in my early 30's.
  
  Right now I am taking anti-depressants to help cope with side effects from the HIV meds I am on. I am also still dealing with helping family members who struggle with depression. They will for the rest of their lives I am sure.
  
  I just got back from a weekend away only to read an e-mail from one of my gay friends whom I have known for over 20 years, saying he has been diagnosed with HIV and is being treated for pneumonia. One way to combat a mild case of the blues for me is to help other people. I am an introvert who can get lost in my own mind and shut people out if I don't watch it.
  
  Serious clinical depression can be helped by medications and professionals, but there is no guarantee that the depressions will be "cured", just mitigated so you can cope with life.
  
  All the best in facing up to this terrible disease.

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  Jun 23, 2008 10:32 PM GMT

  After reading this thread, I thought of the best dialoge from one of my favorite TV shows. The West Wing.
  
  A guy is walking down the street and falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.
  
  A doctor comes along, and the guy shouts up, "Hey man, can you help me?" The doctor writes a prescription and tosses it in the hole and moves on.
  
  Then a priest comes along and they guy shouts up, "Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer and tosses it in the hole and moves on.
  
  Then a friend walks by, "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" and the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says "What are you stupid, now we're both down here." The friend says "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
  
  
  I think we've all been there at some point in our lives to some degree. It's great to have people on here that know the experience and can 'help a friend out of the hole'

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• GQjock
  
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  Jun 23, 2008 10:45 PM GMT

  Everybody's been giving you so far some good advice
  
  But depression is real... I think you know that
  But it's as real as a broken rib or an inner ear infection
  
  ...and just like them
  it needs to be treated
  Depression is readily treated these days
  but requires a two pronged approach
  1. Medication
  There are maybe hundreds of anti-depressants around today
  and for this you're going to need a professional
  NOT A REGULAR MD!!!
  Each of these medications are for different purposes and all of them work in different ways
  MD's are not trained in knowing how they work and many times they get them wrong which is why many people have failures in treatment
  Go to a mental health professional
  
  2. Therapy
  You need to talk things through
  Why you feel depressed
  How you feel when you're depressed
  What you can do to help you when you are...
  
  But remember ....
  treatment is work
  you can't just sit back and say treat me doc and make me all better

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• MikePhilPerez
  
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  Jun 23, 2008 10:56 PM GMT

  alltherage saidI mean like right now I'm experiencing the worst depression of my life, and I just hate it when a family member or friend that doesn't really understand what I feel like. Says just get up and shake it off, if only it was that simple. Have any of you guys experienced such a down and how did you come out of it or if your going through it how do you deal....

  
  
  
  Hey alltherage,
  
  Yeah, I hate it also when I'm told about all the things I have in life, and they are scratching their heads wondering why I'm depressed.
  
  Unless you have suffered from it, you can not understand, what someone suffering form it is going through.
  
  Do you suffer from anxiety?
  
  Are you on any medication? Prescribed or otherwise (and I don't just mean medication for depression) I also don't expect you to answer to the "otherwise" on here, and I'm not suggesting you are on anything. But no matter how harmless you may think it is, it maybe affecting you. Even foods can cause depression.
  
  How long have you been this way?
  
  Do you get this way often?
  
  Sorry for all the questions. BTW, I'm not a doctor. I suffer from anxiety, and I get anxiety induced depression. I have searched the net for answers, and I have got more answers from the net than I have got from doctors.
  
  As has been said already If you have any thoughts of harming yourself, please talk to a medical professional if you cant face a doctor alone, get a family member or friend to go with you.
  
  You can email me if you like, and if I can help in anyway I will. I promise I will not tell you to "shake it off"
  
  Wishing you well.
  
  Mike

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  Jun 24, 2008 10:28 PM GMT

  You guys have given me so i hate to hope its sounds kinda cheesy. but you guys have really made me feel a hell of a lot better. I mean i have to find a therapist thats a must. I guess since i really have no one to talk to. this outlet is so amazing, I've started to work out slowly but i'll get into the groove again. You guys are some of the most down to earth guys, and i would'nt mind dating one of you. lol Thanks again guys

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  Jun 24, 2008 10:56 PM GMT

  mickeytopogigio said[quote][cite]alltherage said[/cite]I mean like right now I'm experiencing the worst depression of my life, and I just hate it when a family member or friend that doesn't really understand what I feel like...

  You may need professional help. Seriously, what have you got to lose by finding a counselor or therapist.
  
  For most people, depression is "real," in that real events have beaten them down into a hole. However, it's the hole that is the real problem. Inside the hole is a lot of inertia to keep you there, much of it neurological and hormonal.
  
  A professional can help you sort out the circumstances (the "real" stuff) from the hole (your body's response to it), and give you devices, advice or medication to help you get out. The help will be real, direct and appropriate. I hope you can find the energy to make a phone call to get started.[/quote]
  
  Psychologist aren't any help at all, in fact they just make matters worse. Almost every medication out there will only make you 3x's worse the moment you forget to take it once. It's not worth the pain nor money.
  The best medicine for depression is being around those who you love and make you happy. Only hang around those that lift you up not bring you down. Depression is a very serious thing. You can find out what set it off to begin with without having to pay someone to talk to you about your problems. Having friends you can converse with helps especially those who's advice you always are prone to listen to.
  If you find you've stopped doing the things you love than what will help you out is making the time to try to do whatever activities your interested in. Even if all you do is sit there staring at whatever supplies or equipment is required for it. Also what i've found that helps is whenever you start thinking lifes a bitch and isn't worth all the bullshit, sometimes forcing a paradigm shift to happen helps.
  And you're right it isn't as easy as just getting up and shaking it off, but you gotta realize those two things are the first step to helping yourself get better. We are instruments of our own destruction at times. Don't let this be one of those times. We must find something worth fighting for and find the means to overcome this obstacle in our path. Overcoming this shall only make you a stronger, better person in life. Take it in small steps though cause nothing is won over night.
  Best of luck in your reveries, RJ bud

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  Aug 04, 2008 4:22 AM GMT

  you guys help me overcome something i thought would surely be the end of me. with the proper treatment, its still on-going. i thinks having someone to talk to is such a great benefit to people

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