one of the hallmarks of gay relationships is that they have been able (through much time, struggle, vision, hard work, personal questioning, public protest and quiet dignity) to re-purpose the traditional model of relationships. the gay people who came before us set forth many of these socio-political changes. in doing so, we currently see and are able to enjoy many different relationships models, ranging from guiltless free love, committed partnerships, open relationships, civil unions, and marriage. some of these models will work for some people but not for others. but its this process of re-defining how we, as a society, validate relationships that is the unique thing about the last 50 years.
your question seems to be asking more about personal individual level politics within a relationship between two people. i'd hasten to clarify that like in any relationship, gay or straight, there will be a certain amount of give and take. things are less defined by gender roles of male or female, "top" or "bottom", dominant or submissive, etc. while it may be convenient to view those roles as parallel to traditional gender roles in a straight relationship, i think you'll agree that in straight relationships, things are changing too. all people (no matter whether they are gay or straight) benefit from being supported in whatever aspect of life that complements their own strengths and weaknesses... and we all have them. i don't think its a dumb question. but i think it overly simplifies the diversity of relationships, and the various contributions that each party brings to a relationship.
so as a gay man, i would ask you if you feel that your gender relegates you to only certain decisions, incomes, responsibilities, etc, and if so, are you satisfied with that model, or do you see a different way for things to work? if you saw a different way for things to work, would you put yourself out in the open to fight for that change (potentially facing ridicule, scrutiny, or violence), or would you accept the status quo because everyone else is doing it that way?