Gay Relationship Dynamics

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    TipsyD said
    Cash said

    I am particularly vicious. It is part of my charm. You may SERIOUSLY wanna back the fuck off - 'nuff said???

    Yer choice of words speaks VOLUMES btw. Hope mine does as well.



    I said "you people" to refer to gay people. Not meant as an insult. My first language is not english so pls bear with me.

    I noticed you are vicious since you called me a fat chick and a douchebag via PM and threatened not fuck with you icon_rolleyes.gif


    And next you will have some debilitating disease in addition to struggling with English and being "genuine" in yer interest. And let's not forget the part where you reveal that you have just lost a loved one to either cancer or a terrible car accident.

    fatgirl.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    Cash said

    Jezus - way not to recognize a troll when you see one.


    I'm not trolling. It is a genuine question
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    TipsyD said
    Cash said

    Jezus - way not to recognize a troll when you see one.


    I'm not trolling. It is a genuine question


    And now it has been answered...is THAT the part you told me you are "enjoying???"

    fatgirl.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    TipsyD:

    one of the hallmarks of gay relationships is that they have been able (through much time, struggle, vision, hard work, personal questioning, public protest and quiet dignity) to re-purpose the traditional model of relationships. the gay people who came before us set forth many of these socio-political changes. in doing so, we currently see and are able to enjoy many different relationships models, ranging from guiltless free love, committed partnerships, open relationships, civil unions, and marriage. some of these models will work for some people but not for others. but its this process of re-defining how we, as a society, validate relationships that is the unique thing about the last 50 years.

    your question seems to be asking more about personal individual level politics within a relationship between two people. i'd hasten to clarify that like in any relationship, gay or straight, there will be a certain amount of give and take. things are less defined by gender roles of male or female, "top" or "bottom", dominant or submissive, etc. while it may be convenient to view those roles as parallel to traditional gender roles in a straight relationship, i think you'll agree that in straight relationships, things are changing too. all people (no matter whether they are gay or straight) benefit from being supported in whatever aspect of life that complements their own strengths and weaknesses... and we all have them. i don't think its a dumb question. but i think it overly simplifies the diversity of relationships, and the various contributions that each party brings to a relationship.

    so as a gay man, i would ask you if you feel that your gender relegates you to only certain decisions, incomes, responsibilities, etc, and if so, are you satisfied with that model, or do you see a different way for things to work? if you saw a different way for things to work, would you put yourself out in the open to fight for that change (potentially facing ridicule, scrutiny, or violence), or would you accept the status quo because everyone else is doing it that way?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 6:47 PM GMT
    Each persons relationship has different and it's own unique dynamic. Not one is the same- hetero or homosexual. That's why they are "our" relationships and no one else's.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 8:35 PM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREJezus - way not to recognize a troll when you see one

    Contrary to what you might think, but not everyone is a troll. The constant accusations of trolling (sometimes justified of course) on the internet is becoming very silly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 8:51 PM GMT
    The answer I'm about to give you isn't going to satisfy you completely because you have to keep in mind the following:

    1) That within both gay and straight relationships, exceptions exist... and the number of the exceptions are growing so it is hard for me to give you an answer that will give you a general overview because there is no "General overview"...

    2) Our mind tends to see what it wants to see - i.e: we are subjective, so even if what I say is true, you may try and believe it to be something else to satisfy your hunger here.

    Having said that, I'll give it a shot:

    It's been observed (not found or proven) that a man can become gay from two actions:

    a) actions that happened in-womb (due to hormone imbalance) and
    b) actions that happened within the environment (peer pressure, exposure to media, etc...)

    With the following in mind, know that there is no one image of what a "Gay" man should look or act like today.

    You can find gay men that prefer to dominate in bed, yet are passive when it comes to making choices about their life outside of bed.

    You can find gay men that prefer to dominate in bed, and are also dominant when it comes to making choices about their life outside of bed.

    You can find gay men that prefer to be passive in bed, and are dominant when it comes to making choices about their life outside of bed.

    You can find gay men that prefer to be passive in bed, and are also passive when it comes to making choices about their life outside of bed.

    You can find gay men that prefer to have no interaction in bed, yet develop strong connections with their partner through friendship.

    You can find gay men that prefer to only interact in bed, and despise developing strong connections with their partner outside of bed.

    The above 6 descriptions are just some of the many different types of people gay men can be.

    Any of the 6 can work together because something called COMPROMISE exists.

    I am fairly dominant on many things outside of bed and so was my partner. We were together for a year and a half.

    We compromised on many things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    Yes, all gay relationships are like straight relationships...one makes the money, and the other makes the sandwiches.

    Now get the fuck off the computer and go make your husband a goddamn sandwich.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    The awkward moment when you're at a movie theater with your date and it's time to pay. You don't want to bring it up in advance because it seems weird. (Can we go dutch tonight?) It becomes way more uncomfortable than it should. It happened to me recently and they guy just stood there and didn't even try to 1. offer to pay for himself or 2. offer to pay for me so I would have the chance to say "Oh I'll get it, no big deal." So I paid for both tickets and felt slightly irritated. On the flip side, I've gone out to dinner in the past and when it comes time for the check, the other guy almost always jumps at the check like a pitbull and pays. If I try to pay my half he's insulted. So in order to not cause a moment of discomfort during the first date, I just let it go and he pays. Now if you're in a straight relationship, generally, the guy is expected to pay the movie ticket or the dinner check. If he were to allow the woman to pick up the tab, she would most certainly think he was a bad provider or that he lacks chivalry. Going dutch for heteros might be fine after the two of you get to know each other better (in case she makes more than he does), but it seems like the guy is pretty much expected to pick up the tab. Gay guys, two relationship equals. Who does what?

    It's the little things like this that can make gay dating a headache. Right up there with flakiness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    Both debit cards whipped out simultaneously when it's time to pay. If one of them doesn't it's a deal breaker.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 9:29 PM GMT
    <>

    See these are the rules I never learned! It was a deal breaker for me. If someone is trying to get a free $8 movie, it means bigger problems may await.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    Havasu said<>

    See these are the rules I never learned! It was a deal breaker for me. If someone is trying to get a free $8 movie, it means bigger problems may await.
    It's $18/movie for VIP seating at the dine-in AMC. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    Regardless of the answer it's not going to affect your life as a heterosexual woman in any signifiant manner. Your posting comes across as "I'm bored. Entertain me!"
    If you genuinely need to know (for whatever reason) you can read a few books on the subject. Otherwise you come across at trolling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2012 10:23 PM GMT
    <movie for VIP seating at the dine-in AMC. >>

    I hope that also comes with a complimentary handjob for that price!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 05, 2012 12:34 PM GMT
    MolaMola saidRegardless of the answer it's not going to affect your life as a heterosexual woman in any signifiant manner. Your posting comes across as "I'm bored. Entertain me!"
    If you genuinely need to know (for whatever reason) you can read a few books on the subject. Otherwise you come across at trolling.


    lol, if I want real entertainment I will go to a different site. icon_wink.gif

    You are right, this is not going to affect my life much but so what? I am interested to know how some of the elements in straight relationships work in gay relationships. I asked out of curiosity and interest; that's all.

    I don't want to read a book or take a course for this. icon_rolleyes.gif That's a bit of an overkill. However, I DID read a few stuff from the internet and I DID do a Google search as people who are generally interested in something do. I found some interesting stuff but I also thought it would be nice to ask from gay people directly. I thought it would be more straightforward, interactive and kind of first hand rather than reading an article/book. I was also not sure if the stuff I read on the Internet was a one person's story or analysis. This is why I raised the question here.

    This is not an attempt to troll and I am seriously confused as to why some of you guys took this question the wrong way. I haven't had the chance to talk to many gay people in my life since most of my life was spent in a Muslim country where there are few out gay folks. But I have nothing against any sexual orientation and I thought that gay people were generally very friendly, nice fellows. Guess I was mistaken on that one. icon_confused.gif

    Anyway guys thanks a lot for all your replies and your time. A special thank you to the nice fellows who took time to answer me stupid question. icon_smile.gif I will not be taking part in this forum hereafter since I got my question answered.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 05, 2012 12:38 PM GMT
    TipsyD saidI have been wondering, do gay couples have these power dynamics seen in most heterosexual relationships. I mean like, one partner is more assertive, makes the big decisions and is usually earns more than the other etc. Usually he is more dominant in the relationship than the other...

    How does this work in gay relationships?

    Edit: I am a straight woman btw. and I ask this question to get a general idea of how this works in gay relationships. I hope I did not annoy anyone by asking this and I sincerely hope to see a serious answer. I thought the best place to ask about gay relationships is a gay forum.

    In all the gay relationships I have ever seen, they all seem to fall into this sort of compact, yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 05, 2012 1:30 PM GMT
    TipsyD said
    MolaMola saidRegardless of the answer it's not going to affect your life as a heterosexual woman in any signifiant manner. Your posting comes across as "I'm bored. Entertain me!"
    If you genuinely need to know (for whatever reason) you can read a few books on the subject. Otherwise you come across at trolling.


    lol, if I want real entertainment I will go to a different site. icon_wink.gif

    You are right, this is not going to affect my life much but so what? I am interested to know how some of the elements in straight relationships work in gay relationships. I asked out of curiosity and interest; that's all.

    I don't want to read a book or take a course for this. icon_rolleyes.gif That's a bit of an overkill. However, I DID read a few stuff from the internet and I DID do a Google search as people who are generally interested in something do. I found some interesting stuff but I also thought it would be nice to ask from gay people directly. I thought it would be more straightforward, interactive and kind of first hand rather than reading an article/book. I was also not sure if the stuff I read on the Internet was a one person's story or analysis. This is why I raised the question here.

    This is not an attempt to troll and I am seriously confused as to why some of you guys took this question the wrong way. I haven't had the chance to talk to many gay people in my life since most of my life was spent in a Muslim country where there are few out gay folks. But I have nothing against any sexual orientation and I thought that gay people were generally very friendly, nice fellows. Guess I was mistaken on that one. icon_confused.gif

    Anyway guys thanks a lot for all your replies and your time. A special thank you to the nice fellows who took time to answer me stupid question. icon_smile.gif I will not be taking part in this forum hereafter since I got my question answered.


    LOL - Muslim?????? Nice touch troll.

    fatgirl.jpg