huhwhat saidI'm 31 and still prefer older guys. I make exceptions on a case by case basis, but anything less than 5 yrs is way too young. Likewise, I don't get it when someone 15+ years older than me gets pissed off when I say that I would like someone closer to my age.
1. For the record - I was not implying that BizMan is Naive.. I don't even know that Naive is a word I would use.. unspoiled? Time has a way of building walls in people, sometimes they don't even realize it's happened. Younger guys, haven't yet made that trek, there is accessibility on an emotional level that is rare later in life. I am probably mutilating this.
For me, especially when I first came out, even though I was 44, I might as well have been 17 because that is where my experience in such things ended. To be sure, I was far more financially responsible - still raising a teenage Daughter (I got custody) but when it came to dating - I was woefully unprepared.
I actually tried reaching out to guys my age, but given that my only level of contact was Internet sites like Manhunt and sites like it, I was a deer in the headlights. I'd like to say it was comical, but it wasn't. The first guy I met was 43, and said he was new to it all, I thought I got insanely lucky.. lol well, I met him for dinner, and at the end of the evening he slides a room key across the table.. I was floored, sex on the first date? Really? LOL Well, it took me 30 seconds to figure what the hell, gotta get this going sooner or later.
It was awkward, he turned out to be what I would later learn was a "Bossy bottom", when we were done - he beat feet. I found out the next day he was cheating on his wife. She answered his phone.
Then there was the 43 year old who worked in college admisions. He had no interest in dating, or really even knowing my last name, a "power bottom" it was fun, I learned a lot from him - even at one point fell pretty hard for him. Then I learned I was a "fuck buddy", and that was all it would ever be. LOL I had a guy hit me up one night asking if I "PNP", I thought it was a computer game.. after Googling it I blocked him.
Man.. I was a clueless mess.
I was all hell bent on finding a man, wanted an LTR - it was what I knew. Struck out in every attempt.. well clever man, it says "Get on and get off." Eventually I made some friends my age.. and after a number of really bad "set ups" I decided I was done trying. I'd been hit on by one young guy after another, and I politely turned them down up until then. Yeah enough of that.
So.. I decided the next one to ask - I was all in. Turned out to be a 24 year old Med student, who rocked my world. We had an outstanding chemistry right from jump street, together we things I never dreamt of. It wasn't exclusive, at that point I was good with that.
Over the next few years I met some of the greatest guys I've ever known at clubs, party's - the answer was yes.. so easy. Then, I messed up. I met a 26 year old nurse that stole my heart. I never saw it coming, and I panicked. I broke it off with him, mainly because I didn't trust that it could last.. what I really didn't trust was that I could be enough. I couldn't face the prospect of getting hurt down the road. Dumbass. I have regretted it ever since. I was a total coward. I owed it to him, owed it to me to see where it went. It was my loss.
I took myself out of circulation for about a year after that. Over that year, I spent a lot of time thinking about him, wishing I had chosen differently. Nobody can beat me up like I can. I went back to keeping it simple. It isn't a sound long term plan, but I have decided the next guy who is crazy enough to fall in love with me - I am going to throw caution to the wind and make him very happy that he did.
The irony here is you would think naivety is exclusive to the young. For some of us, even at our chronological age - parts of us are still painfully naive.