Older guys, what do you wish you had known/done when you were younger?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    -I wish I'd have cultivated (true) friends with the same energy I cultivated education.

    -I wish I'd have learned earlier how to invest and save smartly.

    What I DID do well was cultivate a satisfying career that was enormously fulfilling, in spite of it's lack of pay. That I don't regret. Most people can't do that. For most people, I think they should make a bargain to earn enough to buy a house and establish a good savings pool to take care of themselves and family, but commit to, at age 'X" do something completely selfless and humanitarian...like teach, or go to the Peace Corps, or follow/produce some kind of art.

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    Jun 13, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    Josh1992 saidI really like the advice from older men here, but I do have a quick question: where would you invest your money at at a younger age? Should you put it in a savings account, your 401k, or what? I started thinking about that recently and was hoping someone could provide some insight.

    I'm not older but I can tell you that the best thing to do is to pay off your credit cards as soon as possible, and then always pay them on time. (Or use American Express)

    As for actual investment I can't say but buying a bunch of unrelated stocks is probably good for a very long term investment like retirement or your child's college fund. Stocks do well on average over time, but sometimes perform poorly in the short term; by diversifying and then waiting for long enough, you can minimize the risk and make out better than a regular 0.5% interest savings account.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1368

    Jun 13, 2012 6:17 AM GMT
    TropicalMark saidResist peer pressure at ALL costs. To include family!

    But, what if everyone is telling you not to give into peer pressure?

    As I approach 50, I try to show younger men I meet that it is all worthwhile, life will be fine, "it gets better"; so to speak.

    For me; being 21 when the AIDS epidemic hit the news, I woulda/coulda/shoulda fucked more, and exited the closet way sooner.
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    Jun 13, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    The value of making a name for yourself and being respected as a man. Preparing for it. Growing up with no father present, it took me a long time to grasp this because most of the successfull people around me getting respect were women. While most of the men were poor mentors or bad examples. Now as I am in adulthood I see the value of being empowered over ones own domain, place, or environment. And how important it is for others to show respect to your manhood. I never knew I'd desire so strongly to be accepted and respected as the alpha. I guess thats what I'd wish I had known.
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    Jun 13, 2012 8:29 AM GMT
    While I am just about 30, I do have some *regrets and wish I could have done some of these things differently if given a second chance.

    1/ found the courage to come out earlier and not give a fuck what people think.

    2/ audition/apply to NYU acting/writing program when I was 21 (I was keen on moving to NYC after college) or moving straight to NYC in my early 20s. (I wondered what happened to this).

    3/ Not being overly hurt or dramatic/take things too personal with former best friends and former employers. (I think this is the most serious one, I sorta became more jaded and had my guard/wall up now because I've been screw over and hurt in the past).

    4/ Hang out with my ex gay-roommate/friend and connect with him more. (He died from a rare disease in 2009, I found out from an email through his sister, god, how I feel horrible for not being there for him.)

    5/ I felt very guilty about this one most of all. One of my good gay friend (M) whom also my fwb/fb had a huge crush on me and he care for me a lot. He finally told me that he really love me (that I'm the one) and wanted to go steady (he broke down crying). I felt so weird after that and was a douche to him. (Don't know why the fuck I did that maybe because I think deep down I was very afraid of commitment). The irony kicker is I did like him in return and never said anything. What the fuck did I do! I lost a great potential guy. We drifted apart for good.

    6/ Save more $$$ and don't spend it on silly *shit*.

    7/ Hang out with my grandma more (she passed away in 2005 when she was 87.)

    I learned so many valuable lessons through these experiences though, never take great friends/lovers/boyfriends/family for granted. One day you have everything and the next day, you could lose everything. Life is beautiful and tragic at the same time. icon_smile.gif

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    Jun 13, 2012 8:38 AM GMT
    Webster666 said--Buy a home as soon as you possibly can.
    --Get a job that pays a lot of money. Seriously.
    Working for local, state, or Federal government (in any capacity) usually provides excellent pay, benefits, and retirement, as well as job security.
    So you're basically saying to work a lame job because the benefits of being miserable everyday doing trite bullshit for a bunch of douchebags are worth it?
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    Jun 13, 2012 8:50 AM GMT
    When a great guy comes along, be patient with him and keep him around. Don't so easily get rid of him for something silly. I have big regrets for "the ones that got away."
    Eat healthy.
    Stay focused on your career and goals, build year after year. It adds up before you know it. Being scattered, stopping and restarting, means 20 years later you have little progress.
    I felt mentally better after 30 than I ever felt at 21 and younger. Life gets easier the older you get, and it only gets better. I always dreaded getting older but the gains you make in your career and emotional intelligence overcompensate for the fact you don't look 18 anymore. (Which some people think is a bonus.)
    Be kind to older gay people not because you should feel obligated, but because there is real value. The only people who aren't lucky enough to become "old" are the ones that die young. Nobody is getting any younger around here.
  • Perry123

    Posts: 16

    Jun 13, 2012 9:39 AM GMT
    Remember, there is no such thing is a bad day. There r only good days and great days. Please educate yourself one how to save, how to invest (start as early as possible). Be careful when buying big ticket items; it can devestate you financially for decades. Never judge people; leave that to GOD. Don't let little thing get to u. Incorporate yoga in ur life. B HAPPY! It's our moral duty. For u and for others to see. If anyone is serious about finances, I have a very good formula and total knowledge on how one can retire at an early age. PJBruneo@gmail.com. If u have Verizon the call is free; 303-322-1275. There will b no charge. I enjoy helping people. Leave message if no answer.
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    Jun 13, 2012 10:15 AM GMT
    I wouldn't have spent any time worrying about what might happen. I'd have been more serious about getting an education. And I would have made more of an effort much sooner to establish myself as an individual instead of as somebody's son or brother. I also would have focused more on fitness than athletics because a lot of the habits I developed training for sports haven't served me well as I've gotten older.
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    Jun 13, 2012 10:19 AM GMT
    Realize that the Internet is something that was created to last forever and that things you posted 20 years ago (even on uunet) are still out there for people to read. In the future, your kids or employees will be able to see those naked photos...