Have you ever wanted to change cities?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    I know it's time to change cities but lack the courage to just do it. I'm curious to know if anyone else has done so and what was the motivation? Any regrets?
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    Jul 29, 2008 7:05 AM GMT
    I've done it three times:

    1979 Detroit to New York.
    Motivation: are you kidding?

    1994: New York to Richmond, VA.
    Motivation: l'amour

    2001: Richmond to Fort Lauderdale
    Motivation: be closer to aging parents; also l'amour was finis.

    Regrets? Nope.
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    Jul 29, 2008 8:06 AM GMT
    I've lived in 5 different cities since I was 18 and there are a few things I've noticed from moving around so much.
    First, being new and/or an outsider can end up working well for you. People will be interested in your story and everything will be new so things won't get too boring anytime soon -That is so long as you don't stay home and you are a sociable person.
    Also, its always taken me a good 3-6 months to really make some solid friends. That has always been the hardest part for me, but I've found that once you meet some good people you can trust, things always end up getting better.
    Things always get better with time when I'm in a new place and it makes me appreciate other places that I've lived in more.
    My last move this past February was a rough one, but having started over in a new city a few times before, I really think that I've adjusted easier than I've ever had in previous moves. It can be really scary and really stressful but life is an adventure, right?
    So I say do it! If it doesn't work you can always find your way back and you will be glad you had the experience.
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    Jul 29, 2008 10:30 AM GMT
    Growing up with my father being in the Air Force, I guess I come from a different perspective. I didn't grow up in one city or state my entire life. I moved about every 3-4 years growing up. So staying in one place, for any given time, is rather a foreign concept.

    After college I lived in Dallas for about 3 1/2 years and then due to work, moved to the Washington D.C. area. I lived there for 10 months and then moved to Raleigh, N.C., again due to work and have been here since 1993.

    Do I regret any of the moves? In most ways not at all. I was able to refocus my life each time and have grown as a person because of the moves and getting out of potentially dangerous and downward spiraling behavior.

    Would I have chosen to move to Raleigh? Ummm, no way. But I have tried to make the best of it.

    About 2 1/2 years ago I started considering to move away from Raleigh and move to another city. I have the flexibility of working remotely, but I do go into the office most of the time since I like the face-to-face interaction. But for various factors I have decided to stay put. Call that part of my mid-life crisis since it happened right before my 40th birthday.

    I wouldn't mind living in a bigger city with a little bigger gay population. But for now I have come to make the most of the situation here and have great friends. I have eliminated those parts of my life and situations that were dragging me down.
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    Jul 29, 2008 10:51 AM GMT
    I've moved around alot in my life, but moving to Dallas was the first time in my entire life I'd moved on my own, without anyone else along with me.

    I've been here (Dallas) for a little over 2 years and though now and then, I have itty-bitty panic attacks where I think to myself "Jeez, I'm all alone far away from home", I'm fairly content that I moved here.

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    Jul 29, 2008 10:55 AM GMT
    So far I've changed cities 6 or 7 times (wow never realised that it was that much).

    Half of that was out of my hands, the other half was just the natural closure of a part of my life. It just felt normal to start looking and then to move.

    Right now I feel like changing again. I've seen most of the stuff in this city, I've grown as a person and just don't seem to click with the population anymore. So finishing university education seems like the perfect time to move on, change cities and even change countries.

    I don't have any regrets, but I must say that the first few months in a new city are hard because you don't know it and haven't made any new friends.
  • MuscleUp

    Posts: 118

    Jul 29, 2008 12:49 PM GMT
    Yup, every winter.
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    Jul 29, 2008 1:04 PM GMT
    I was born and raised in a small(ish) city in the middle of nowhere, so the motivation for moving is obvious. At the age of 18 I moved to Toronto for school, then Ottawa for a change and new oppourtunities, then I accepted a job (that turned out to be a nightmare) which lead me back to Toronto, and now I'm in Houston for work.

    No regrets, even when the job I moved back to Toronto for turned out to be a nightmare. That move lead me to go back to school and get my natural healthcare practitioners certification, and if I didn't move back to Toronto I wouldn't have ended up with the company I work for now, which means I wouldn't be enjoying the wonderful Texas sun at this moment.
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    Jul 29, 2008 1:14 PM GMT
    In a year I hope to move to my fourth city. I have never regretted it, though those first months of not knowing anyone can be pretty rough.
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    Jul 29, 2008 1:22 PM GMT
    jprichva said2001: Richmond to Fort Lauderdale
    Motivation: be closer to aging parents

    you rock... i love where i live but a major reason why i would never relocate is my parents who live like 90 miles south of me.
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    Jul 29, 2008 1:58 PM GMT
    I am close to making my tenth move in my lifetime and only one of those moves was during my childhood. I lived on both sides of the Atlantic and on this side from the North to the South. I would like to live in Europe but my parent's health keeps me close to NC.

    Moving is a great way to purge all the baggage we accumulate both physically and mentally. I have a different sense of home than most people. I travel so much that I've learned to keep most of my home in a couple of suitcases. Even when I'm not flying to some far away country I'm driving my car around the southeast.

    That being said I've had very few LTRs that would keep me tied to a place. These days I settle for a passionate one night stand followed by breakfast, lunch and dinner the next day. I've had quite a few during my adventures and while I often wish they could last longer they fill the void for the moment.

    Right now I'm staying with a friend in Barcelona that I met 15 years ago in the Canary Islands. He speaks no english and at the time I only spoke broken Spanish mixed with French. Now I'm fluent and while our romance only lasted for the week I spent in the Canary Islands 15 years ago, our friendship has continued to this day.

    I sometimes wonder if all this moving and traveling has left me too independent to settle down. In the extremely unlikely event that I did stumble into an LTR I would probably stop moving if the other half wanted to stay put. In fact, if I really had a strong connection to someone I might even move to his local provided it was the kind of place where I could pursue my daily interests and I could still frequently visit my parents. Either way, as long as my health holds out I will always travel.

    All of my changes had a purpose (either professional or cultural) which was not tied to my lack of social life. Why do you want to change cities? I'm not sure if changing cities simply because you are bored with your life is good enough reason. All the moving around I've done has taught me to make the most of each and every local. I've even enjoyed living back in my home state which says a lot considering all the other places I've lived.
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    Jul 29, 2008 2:07 PM GMT
    I have to urge to leave where I am now as well. I had been leaning towards San Diego but due some external variables I'm now looking towards Chicago. While I save money up, I'm trying to convince myself that winters wouldn't be so bad up there... icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 29, 2008 2:20 PM GMT
    I moved to Seattle from the Portland area about 8 years ago. I did it to make a start on my own and to get out of my mom's house (I know, 24 and still living with mom, pathetic LOL). Anyways, I don't regret moving here at all, have made some really awesome friends and have had great experiences. I do miss my friends and family sometimes, but they're only a short drive away.

    But now I'm looking at moving to San Diego. My brother is there in the Navy with his family, he's there through 2010 and as we've never been very close, my past two visits have brought us closer and I would love the chance to get to know my brother and his family (you should SEE my twin 7yo nieces!).

    So, hopefully towards the end of this year, San Diego here I come!
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:06 PM GMT
    Grew up in Singapore, but studied for seven years in London (UK). Went back to Singapore to work, since I figured my parents missed me, and I needed to catch up with friends and family. Worked in Singapore for 5 years, before relocating to Shanghai. Couldn't handle the air pollution in Shanghai, so I moved back to Singapore. Would move to almost anywhere in the world for a new experience. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:30 PM GMT
    I was born and raised in a little town in northern Idaho (where??), and never really felt like I belonged there. My parents say they always knew I wouldn't stay.

    So, I applied to college, and at 18, I packed up and moved to Los Angeles. It was the first time I had ever been here, and I didn't know a soul.

    I never looked back. 23 years now.

    I still visit the family a few times a year, and am very close to my folks and 3 brothers, but I have no regrets. I'm happier now than I have ever been.

  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jul 29, 2008 4:30 PM GMT
    God, I need to move, but I'm too chicken shit to do it!