First off, congratulations!
I'm a resident, and not a staffman yet, but you'll run into this kind of crap sometimes. I haven't really run into it much, but I went through a period where I wasn't sure what to do either. It's good that you're thinking about it before it crops up again.
I think most gay doctors have to come to terms with some "identity" issues, the most common (but perhaps the least important) one being, "Do I want to be a doctor who happens to be gay, or a gay man who happens to be a doctor?"
Certainly, you will find that as word gets around, that you will likely have no shortage of gay patients--let's face it, gay men will be more comfortable coming to you. The fact that you're good-looking only makes it easier
I have run into one instance where a patient (in the emergency room) expressed his distaste for asians (and not on a romantic gay level, ha ha) to me. I gave him the option of being assessed or not being assessed. I did tell my attending about it and my attending did not offer him another resident, nor did he step into the care role any more than he would have otherwise. The patient was free to go to another clinic, or another hospital, but they don't get to pick and choose--not in the emergency department anyways. The same goes for women who ask for a female doctor (unless it's a sexual assault). I think I would take the same "zero tolerance" stance on being bi.
From my standpoint, my personal life isn't really my patient's business; and it certainly does not affect their care. Patients often strike up idle chit chat during physical exams and that's fine. They don't usually ask me that much about my personal life. I usually get the wife/girlfriend questions from the nurses and staff that I work with. Most patients don't ask. Some people have gone so far as to ask if I have a partner, which I've thought was very nice.
I made the decision that when it comes to co-workers, I don't mind being out. I'll answer, "No, I don't have a girlfriend, or boyfriend, it's just me." In some ways, it's easier to just take on the gay label, because people, on a casual, or even co-worker level, can't get around the "bisexual" label. But that's a whole other kettle of fish.
The reality is that when you're done, you're it
. People can either choose to have their care from you, or someone else. I've been lucky to see how other guys do it here though--there are a few openly gay residents in upper years (though, they're partnered, which, I think, makes things easier).
When it comes down to it, you have to decide how comfortable you are treating someone who may not like you--for a variety of reasons, not just your sexuality. If you feel you can do the job, then get it done
If you sense they're so intensely uncomfortable, then perhaps you need to have a little chat with them to figure out why. And if, in the end, your sexuality is the issue, then they always have the option to receive treatment elsewhere. Just be dispassionate about it. You'll eventually find your own groove and your own stlye when it comes to this issue. And it, like mine, will probably change over time.
Remember, patients are there because they want expert help. And you are the expert. The physician/patient relationship is a negotiated one. Take ownership of your sexuality, and your education.
