What Exhibit is the Guy Above you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    Exhibit A.

    The muscular gay guy. More than a bit of a paradoxical, oxymoronic conundrum, this specimen's life revolves around going to the gym, working out for 20 minutes, then spending 2 hours cruising the gym sauna and showers for anonymous buttsecks. Exhibitionists at heart, these are the guys who will never upload an image of themselves wearing a shirt, however, they rarely upload n00dz because they don't want anyone they know in person to see (though they're all in porn... srs.)

    Exhibit B.

    The average-bodied gay guy who's only on RJ to look at pictures of Exhibit A. Often, these guys don't upload pictures to hide their fugly, however, one will occasionally get a case of USI and venture into the forums thinking they'll soon be the most attractive guy on RJ though they only work out once a year. Normally, these people lose interest and keep lurking long after their departure from the forum catfights. Exhibit B is also often resentful toward Exhibit A for being so much better at life.

    Exhibit C.
    The bitter, resentful old man. Only athletic in his later years and unable to lose his beer gut, these old bears populate the forums and constantly whine about how harsh and oppressive things were when they were young, and about how they weren't able to come out until now. They use this as an excuse to upload horrifying shirtless and nude photos, and feel slighted when people don't show them as much e-love as the younger, more attractive members. Always liberal, these geriatrics will attack any viewpoint or politician they deem responsible for their time spent in the closet.

    Exhibit D.

    Exhibit D ventures into the forums! ...and gets no response.
    The creepy old stalker. Unlike the bitter, resentful old man, the creepy old stalker will rarely participate in forums, and often does not upload any images of himself. However, he will "hot list" every member under 30 and ask them to send him their n00dz. They are generally unlucky, and often get swiftly banned for their faggotry.Exhibit D will often flip shit and send hate mail to the object of his affection.

    Exhibit E.
    The young closet case. Specimens of Exhibit E will "hot list" a large number of people and message them asking to talk. Legitimate examples of Exhibit E will often post in forums looking for advice and say "I don't want to be a part of the gay scene." Exhibit E is also known for general self-loathing and not being able to come to terms with his sexuality, and criticizing more outspoken gays while fapping to their man-thong pics.

    Exhibit F.

    The butthurt flaming queen. See Gaygod, Brandon Hilton, etc. This exhibit is known to flood the forums with fairy dust, often going ad hominem at moderates, conservatives, and anyone who disagrees. They all believe that if every gay person on the planet were to hold hands and be BFFs, there would be sparkles and rainbows in the sky. Not even kidding. They're not on crack, they're just batshit liberal. Exhibit F is quick to criticize anyone who does not think as it does, .

    Exhibit G.

    Only on RJ to argue politics, this clusterfuck of ten or so people go back and forth nonstop in threads about Palestine posted all over the website - yes, even in the dating forum, these folks are arguing about whether or not Muslims should be allowed to take land from the mighty Jew. Most instances of Exhibit G are around a 4/10, old or middle-aged, and in relationships, hence their boredom with every other part of the site.

    Exhibit H

    The race warrior. Almost always black, these people post thread after thread about their blackness and bring it up when it is out of context. Often times easily butthurt, these specimens enjoy talking about Obama, but when someone mentions Obama's general lack of effort on the gay rights front, they get all "NUH UH OH NOES U DI'INT!" This exhibit is often known to put their race in their username (as if it wasn't obvious from their pics and/or posts), and often engage in general fail in the NSFW chat room.

    Credit goes to Firebrand for the descriptions
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2012 12:10 AM GMT