gay guy in the gym

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2012 12:33 PM GMT
    socalfitness said
    Firebrand saidYou Cruise, You Lose = if you go to the gym for any purpose other than working out or seek to engage in suspect activity at the gym such as hitting on, groping, or having sex with others, your gym membership will be revoked and/or the homophobic straight dude you hit on will beat the piss out of you.

    Normal, logical advice seems to upset some who read into it based on their own insecurities and hang-ups then lash out at you. special kind of lulz needs its own term.


    I'm confused. Are you saying that his advice is logical and normal?
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    Jul 15, 2012 12:41 PM GMT
    Go to the gym with the sole intent to workout. if the casual pass-by or if you are lifting near him may by chance happen, say hello. Bing bang boom the ball has been set in motion.
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    Jul 15, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidDude...
    you are new...welcome; don't let Fire cock run you off...

    Why is so hard to give the guy a wink.

    pretty sure I rocked the world of the cutey at the drive-threw yesterday, when I caught him body checking my sweat soaked wife beater and gave him a wink. He definitely still has his wisdom teeth.

    Winking = CREEPY
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    Jul 15, 2012 1:42 PM GMT
    pf008 said
    socalfitness said
    Firebrand saidYou Cruise, You Lose = if you go to the gym for any purpose other than working out or seek to engage in suspect activity at the gym such as hitting on, groping, or having sex with others, your gym membership will be revoked and/or the homophobic straight dude you hit on will beat the piss out of you.

    Normal, logical advice seems to upset some who read into it based on their own insecurities and hang-ups then lash out at you. special kind of lulz needs its own term.


    I'm confused. Are you saying that his advice is logical and normal?

    Yup, that's basically what I'm saying. To paraphrase, go to the gym to work out, not be creepy. That doesn't preclude meeting people or being anti-social. Just seems to me people read into that what they want then get offended for some reason.

    I can relate to the advice not to be creepy and you can meet people you would never meet by not being forward, especially if there's an age difference. Example - a guy in my gym mid 20s, extremely good-looking and ripped. I noticed his lifting technique - excellent form and very smooth. Forced myself to not stare. Couple of days later he was at the gym same time, and he happened to be a couple of benches away from me. Between sets he called to me said he was thinking of starting to log his workouts the way I do - I carry a small notebook. Anyway, we started talking. Very friendly, east to talk to. Over a period of a few weeks we ended up working out together. It was extremely motivating for me, and I had some knowledge he appreciated. We both have dogs. He suggested we hang out so our dogs could play. A while after that he left the area because he was accepted to an elite military training program. Point is - if I was actively looking, or cruising, I'm sure it would have been a turn-off. It turned out to be a good experience.
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    Jul 15, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    LOL....some people on here are funny. just because someone is staring at you in the gym doesn't mean they want you. it could be the huge zit on your forehead or the booger hanging out of your nose.....or you're hogging the weights or bench they want to use while you're just sitting there looking pretty.
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    Jul 15, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    I guess it's all in your perspective. Hitting on can mean different things, or be done in different ways. I don't see anyone getting beat up though because they hit on somebody. I think most people are past that point, hopefully. Unless they're still monkies. I don't think women go around kicking guys in the balls every time one hits on her. There's nothing wrong with hitting on somebody, it's human nature. People are just going to have to start accepting that. Why should I have to live my entire life and every desire I have in secret? Do straight guys get tossed out of a gym if they hit on a girl? I doubt it. If we don't change the way we think about ourselves, we're going to prolong the way gays interact with the world. I should be able to hit on any guy I want and not worry about getting beat up or ridiculed. That's just stupid. If it bothers a guy that much, then he has a problem. All he has to do is say no or he's not interested and I'm gone. I won't even look back. Now If a guy comes up and gropes you, feel free to knock him out. That's just straight up disrespectful to anyone. I am almost 40 and tired tired tired of keeping everything I feel inside. Does that make sense?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 15, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    Not looking to start a flamewar, but if you meet guys on hookup apps, you're likely to end up with only one nighters. If you meet them at bars, you're likely to end up an alcoholic. If you meet them at the gym, at the very least you've found someone interested in health and self-improvement. I think it could be one of the best places to meet someone, as long you're not being a sleezy skeezeball about it.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 24458

    Jul 15, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    Firebrand saidI death-glare at them to try to get them to stop


    LOL! Is that even scarier than the "scary devil videos"? icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 15, 2012 2:03 PM GMT
    pf008 saidI guess it's all in your perspective. Hitting on can mean different things, or be done in different ways. I don't see anyone getting beat up though because they hit on somebody. I think most people are past that point, hopefully. Unless they're still monkies. I don't think women go around kicking guys in the balls every time one hits on her. There's nothing wrong with hitting on somebody, it's human nature. People are just going to have to start accepting that. Why should I have to live my entire life and every desire I have in secret? Do straight guys get tossed out of a gym if they hit on a girl? I doubt it. If we don't change the way we think about ourselves, we're going to prolong the way gays interact with the world. I should be able to hit on any guy I want and not worry about getting beat up or ridiculed. That's just stupid. If it bothers a guy that much, then he has a problem. All he has to do is say no or he's not interested and I'm gone. I won't even look back. Now If a guy comes up and gropes you, feel free to knock him out. That's just straight up disrespectful to anyone. I am almost 40 and tired tired tired of keeping everything I feel inside. Does that make sense?

    Yes it makes sense, but context and the situation is everything. In the examples Firebrand referred to in the past, he was discussing some extremely overt, rude behavior. It's really common sense. If you see someone obviously focused on their workout and from their body language not open to conservation, decorum would suggest leaving them alone. Even in the sauna for example, you can start a conversation and you'll know pretty quickly if they want to talk. No different from other places.
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    Jul 15, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    THIS by socalfitness:

    " Example - a guy in my gym mid 20s, extremely good-looking and ripped. I noticed his lifting technique - excellent form and very smooth. Forced myself to not stare. Couple of days later he was at the gym same time, and he happened to be a couple of benches away from me. Between sets he called to me said he was thinking of starting to log his workouts the way I do - I carry a small notebook. Anyway, we started talking. Very friendly, east to talk to. Over a period of a few weeks we ended up working out together. It was extremely motivating for me, and I had some knowledge he appreciated. We both have dogs. He suggested we hang out so our dogs could play. A while after that he left the area because he was accepted to an elite military training program. Point is - if I was actively looking, or cruising, I'm sure it would have been a turn-off. It turned out to be a good experience. "

    IS a great example of the casual approach to an improbable relationship.

    And if you can't understand the appeal of a really old guy to the young and HOT, you just have to watch the Louis CK Youtube vid called "You're So Old".
    Hmmmm---- you'll never ask a young hottie why he's attracted to you again!


    BACK to OP, just be open and HUMAN. Even if the guy is straight or gay/uninterested.........you may still find a friend to expand your world.
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    Jul 15, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidNot looking to start a flamewar, but if you meet guys on hookup apps, you're likely to end up with only one nighters. If you meet them at bars, you're likely to end up an alcoholic. If you meet them at the gym, at the very least you've found someone interested in health and self-improvement. I think it could be one of the best places to meet someone, as long you're not being a sleezy skeezeball about it.



    " If you meet them at the gym, at the very least you've found someone interested in health and self-improvement. I think it could be one of the best places to meet someone, as long you're not being a sleezy skeezeball about it."

    TRUTH.

    The only issue in exploring romantic relationships at your and HIS gym-----is that breaking up is more awkward. However, for making friends with common interests and LOCAL....it can't be beat.

    BE OPEN. The new straight girl you chatted with on the treadmill beside you.....may have a DUDE for you.

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    Jul 15, 2012 2:27 PM GMT
    Balancing said
    HottJoe saidNot looking to start a flamewar, but if you meet guys on hookup apps, you're likely to end up with only one nighters. If you meet them at bars, you're likely to end up an alcoholic. If you meet them at the gym, at the very least you've found someone interested in health and self-improvement. I think it could be one of the best places to meet someone, as long you're not being a sleezy skeezeball about it.



    " If you meet them at the gym, at the very least you've found someone interested in health and self-improvement. I think it could be one of the best places to meet someone, as long you're not being a sleezy skeezeball about it."

    TRUTH.

    The only issue in exploring romantic relationships at your and HIS gym-----is that breaking up is more awkward. However, for making friends with common interests and LOCAL....it can't be beat.

    BE OPEN. The new straight girl you chatted with on the treadmill beside you.....may have a DUDE for you.



    I like the way you think balancing, cause you're right, you never know where something might lead you, even if it's something you aren't interested in at first. I'm always getting checked out by girls and it irritated me for awhile but I figured maybe she has a gay friend or her bf is bi. Never know.

    I've talked to several guys at the gym, never any intention on my part but to learn something. They've always been very eager to help. I ask them stuff like what are the best exercises for certain body parts, or tell them i'm having trouble developing my upper chest , or i'll see them doing an exercise, and ask them what it's targeting if i'm not sure. Just stuff like that, nothing even remotely sexual. So there's alot of ways you can start a conversation and tell if a person wants to even continue making small talk.
    One guy I started talking to, hot, piercings, muscular, tattooed, turned out to be a priest and after he started preaching, scared ME off. Wanted me to come to his congregation. No thanks. lol icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 15, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    socalfitness said
    Firebrand saidYou Cruise, You Lose = if you go to the gym for any purpose other than working out or seek to engage in suspect activity at the gym such as hitting on, groping, or having sex with others, your gym membership will be revoked and/or the homophobic straight dude you hit on will beat the piss out of you.

    Normal, logical advice seems to upset some who read into it based on their own insecurities and hang-ups then lash out at you. special kind of lulz needs its own term.


    socal, your definition of "normal" may work for you and Firebrand, but it obviously doesn't work for the majority of guys posting in this thread. You say Firebrand's "normal, logical advice seems to upset some..." but based on what I've read, it seems to upset the majority.

    The OP is clearly not talking about groping or having sex with other men in a gym. He's talking about approaching a man whom he finds attractive and attempting to engage him in conversation.

    His post is as clear as crystal. A special kind of lulz does need its own term. The kind of lulz I get from reading Firebrand's trolling and your defense of his vitriolic replies.
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    Jul 15, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    You stated the obvious. Start up a casual conversation.
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    Jul 15, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    credo said

    His post is as clear as crystal. A special kind of lulz does need its own term. The kind of lulz I get from reading Firebrand's trolling and your defense of his vitriolic replies.

    Damnit. At Firebrand's gym, it is aggressive advances of a gay sexual nature that has grown into a desire to be totally left alone.

    Members of the gay community have CHOSEN to publicly exhibit aggressiveness of a sexual nature towards others. Gym members advertise for sex encounters on Craigslist.


    I have female friends who go to the gym for one reason: to find a date. It's one thing to ask a guy out for a drink. Its something wildly different to stalk any "hot" random guy in the locker room then masturbate in front of him. God forbid they would lay a hand on you. Or worse, scum up the shower areas with ejaculate and discourage employees from entering.


    Frankly, I think this particular gym should be shut down to protect this chain's reputation if people are going to persist in re-purposing it into a gay bathhouse without their permission.
  • John6311

    Posts: 165

    Jul 15, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    credo said
    socalfitness said
    Firebrand saidYou Cruise, You Lose = if you go to the gym for any purpose other than working out or seek to engage in suspect activity at the gym such as hitting on, groping, or having sex with others, your gym membership will be revoked and/or the homophobic straight dude you hit on will beat the piss out of you.

    Normal, logical advice seems to upset some who read into it based on their own insecurities and hang-ups then lash out at you. special kind of lulz needs its own term.


    socal, your definition of "normal" may work for you and Firebrand, but it obviously doesn't work for the majority of guys posting in this thread. You say Firebrand's "normal, logical advice seems to upset some..." but based on what I've read, it seems to upset the majority.

    The OP is clearly not talking about groping or having sex with other men in a gym. He's talking about approaching a man whom he finds attractive and attempting to engage him in conversation.

    His post is as clear as crystal. A special kind of lulz does need its own term. The kind of lulz I get from reading Firebrand's trolling and your defense of his vitriolic replies.


    Exactly!!!
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    Jul 15, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    The gym is a hot spot for homosexuality, like a coffee shop is for WIFI! I've been a gym regular ever since i was 16, and I feel lots of other gay guys are very similar. I find that some guys in the gym can be a bit "ambiguous" about their sexuality. Again, the gym setting bleeds gayness! All the mirrors to look at yourself, tight workout gear, and the whole "jock" layout! I have actually had many friendly conversations with guys I've met at the gym in the past, and to later meet them at a gay club. lol Just follow the golden rule. Be nice, and start up a conversation, and if he's interested, you'll know. Or, take his ipod and check to see if there's any Madonna, Kylie Minogue, or Cher on his playlists? icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 15, 2012 5:48 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Firebrand saidYou Cruise, You Lose = if you go to the gym for any purpose other than working out or seek to engage in suspect activity at the gym such as hitting on, groping, or having sex with others, your gym membership will be revoked and/or the homophobic straight dude you hit on will beat the piss out of you.



    Where the fuck do you live dude? Walton's Mountain? I've met plenty of guys at the gym and I've never been thrown out, and I've certainly never had anyone beat me down. You must be super obvious. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Excuse me. What's wrong with living near Walton's Mountain?
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    Jul 15, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    credo said
    socalfitness said
    Firebrand saidYou Cruise, You Lose = if you go to the gym for any purpose other than working out or seek to engage in suspect activity at the gym such as hitting on, groping, or having sex with others, your gym membership will be revoked and/or the homophobic straight dude you hit on will beat the piss out of you.

    Normal, logical advice seems to upset some who read into it based on their own insecurities and hang-ups then lash out at you. special kind of lulz needs its own term.


    socal, your definition of "normal" may work for you and Firebrand, but it obviously doesn't work for the majority of guys posting in this thread. You say Firebrand's "normal, logical advice seems to upset some..." but based on what I've read, it seems to upset the majority.

    The OP is clearly not talking about groping or having sex with other men in a gym. He's talking about approaching a man whom he finds attractive and attempting to engage him in conversation.

    His post is as clear as crystal. A special kind of lulz does need its own term. The kind of lulz I get from reading Firebrand's trolling and your defense of his vitriolic replies.

    I think it is all a matter of degree. The context that Firebrand came from (not in this thread) was an environment of extreme behavior that I agree the OP was not advocating. But outside of that, I think his main point, at the risk of putting words in his mouth, is to go the gym primarily to workout and contribute to an environment of working out. By contrast, which I don't see often, would be someone going to a gym hanging around the weights, using them very little and primarily trying to strike up conversations with the people there to work out. This not to suggest that is what the OP is advocating but to illustrate a contrast. Everyone creates their own motivation, but I find the atmosphere best when the people around the weight room are serious about lifting weights, not BSing.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Jul 15, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    When you go to the gym, you're only there to work out. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Are you finished with this?"

    When you go grocery shopping, you're there to get groceries. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Excuse me" when pushing your cart by them.

    When at the mall, you're there to buy clothes. Don't talk to someone unless it's to ask for a different size or to ask for a fitting room.

    etc.
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    Jul 15, 2012 6:03 PM GMT
    Coach_Mike said
    Excuse me. What's wrong with living near Walton's Mountain?


    If Ike Godsey is your idea of eye candy, nothing at all.
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    Jul 15, 2012 6:13 PM GMT
    Timbales saidWhen you go to the gym, you're only there to work out. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Are you finished with this?"

    When you go grocery shopping, you're there to get groceries. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Excuse me" when pushing your cart by them.

    When at the mall, you're there to buy clothes. Don't talk to someone unless it's to ask for a different size or to ask for a fitting room.

    etc.


    That's like saying don't get on the internet and talk to anyone. you're there to look at web pages and get out. What planet are you on? People communicate with each other everywhere and anywhere. If that's how you live your life, I feel sorry for you lol
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Jul 15, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    pf008 said
    Timbales saidWhen you go to the gym, you're only there to work out. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Are you finished with this?"

    When you go grocery shopping, you're there to get groceries. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Excuse me" when pushing your cart by them.

    When at the mall, you're there to buy clothes. Don't talk to someone unless it's to ask for a different size or to ask for a fitting room.

    etc.


    That's like saying don't get on the internet and talk to anyone. you're there to look at web pages and get out. What planet are you on? People communicate with each other everywhere and anywhere. If that's how you live your life, I feel sorry for you lol


    I was being sarcastic.
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    Jul 15, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    Timbales said
    pf008 said
    Timbales saidWhen you go to the gym, you're only there to work out. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Are you finished with this?"

    When you go grocery shopping, you're there to get groceries. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Excuse me" when pushing your cart by them.

    When at the mall, you're there to buy clothes. Don't talk to someone unless it's to ask for a different size or to ask for a fitting room.

    etc.


    That's like saying don't get on the internet and talk to anyone. you're there to look at web pages and get out. What planet are you on? People communicate with each other everywhere and anywhere. If that's how you live your life, I feel sorry for you lol


    I was being sarcastic.


    Phew, that's a relief. Sorry lol
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    Jul 15, 2012 6:19 PM GMT
    pf008 said
    Timbales saidWhen you go to the gym, you're only there to work out. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Are you finished with this?"

    When you go grocery shopping, you're there to get groceries. Do not talk to someone unless it's to say "Excuse me" when pushing your cart by them.

    When at the mall, you're there to buy clothes. Don't talk to someone unless it's to ask for a different size or to ask for a fitting room.

    etc.


    That's like saying don't get on the internet and talk to anyone. you're there to look at web pages and get out. What planet are you on? People communicate with each other everywhere and anywhere. If that's how you live your life, I feel sorry for you lol

    What kind of communicating do you have in mind? Some people go to the gym to meet their friends and hold a long loud drawn out conversation in the cardio area that would annoy anything with a pulse. Then bitch because the treadmill says they only burned 100 calories that entire hour. This is the kind of activity you are justifying.

    An effective and worthwhile cardio workout is at a level where talking is difficult without becoming out of breath. If you're just there to talk about your boyfriends or you coworkers, it is very easy for people nearby to feel like they're being assaulted. And, you clearly are not there to work out. I call them "gym tourists".

    So, yeah, unless you are talking about fitness, keep it at a minimum at the gym.