I came out to my parents, now the questions and disagreements start..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    me11 saidWhat is all comes down to is time. You have known that you were gay for awhile. You finally reached the point where you were comfortable enough to come out. Perhaps for your parents it's more of a surprise and they need time to process all of this.


    I really do not think it is a surprise for ANY parent unless they have been absent from the child's life or so preoccupied with their own whatever (like career) to be bothered to notice. Others prefer to live in denial rather than educating themselves and helping their child through a very tough process. Sad.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11422

    Jul 19, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    Conversion therapy makes about as much sense as purposely breaking someone's legs so you can put them in casts so that their feet point backwards
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    Jul 19, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    My parents really were surprised, they had just had prior experience with my aunt coming out as a lesbian after 15 years of marriage. My dad didn't speak to her for a number of reason after the divorce but they speak now, I don't think my dad is gay....
    Thanks for all the answers, it will give me some ammunition tonight around the dinner table haha
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    Jul 19, 2012 9:23 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidConversion therapy makes about as much sense as purposely breaking someone's legs so you can put them in casts so that their feet point backwards

    Conversion treatment for those born left-handed was once popular. Being a lefty was considered an abnormality that would disadvantage a person in life. Instead, many people were disadvantaged by the treatment, which made them clumsy with either hand, as well as suffering from psychological damage.

    And ironically, the percentage of lefties in the population, about 10%, is one of the estimations given for the gay demographic.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jul 19, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    Overall, it sounds like your family is on the right track. They need time, and some good neutral information about homosexuality. They might need three months, or six months, or even a year to come to the right conclusion. But I bet they will get there, since they have started in such a sympathetic place already.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5793

    Jul 19, 2012 9:51 PM GMT
    I came out two months ago and yesterday my mom told me to go to die.
    This is just the beginning , the life is yours , stay strong.
    Your parent need time to process it.
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    Jul 19, 2012 10:00 PM GMT
    Karl saidI came out two months ago and yesterday my mom told me to go to die.
    This is just the beginning , the life is yours , stay strong.
    Your parent need time to process it.


    Maybe she'll regret what she said when she's sitting in an old folks home wondering when the orderly is going to change her diaper.
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    Jul 20, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    Karl saidI came out two months ago and yesterday my mom told me to go to die.
    This is just the beginning , the life is yours , stay strong.
    Your parent need time to process it.

    *HUGS*. Hopefully she'll come around.
    Remember, it probably took you more than 2 months to accept yourself, too.
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    Wolverine4 said
    Karl saidI came out two months ago and yesterday my mom told me to go to die.
    This is just the beginning , the life is yours , stay strong.
    Your parent need time to process it.

    *HUGS*. Hopefully she'll come around.
    Remember, it probably took you more than 2 months to accept yourself, too.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:48 AM GMT
    What made you come out? like why that day and stuff?
    you think the dad would be the one most against it.........
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    Jul 26, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    Being gay isn't like being an alcoholic.

    It is like being left handed in a world where the majority are right handed. You can be told it is wrong. You can try all you want to change it. You can try to hide it, deny it, and secretly write left handed letters under the cover of darkness. But a left handed person forcing themselves to be right handed will always be uncomfortable, messy, inaccurate, unnatural and dishonest.

    And being left handed isn't a choice, it isn't unhealthy, it isn't a dead end street to unhappiness, disease, or death. It is just one of those things in life you have no say in (and there are a lot of those!). It is often the things in life you DO have a say in that lead to misfortune.

    There are some right handed. There are some left handed. And there are some ambidextrous. This world is a pretty cool and crazy place and the only thing wrong are the attitudes of some of its inhabitants. ;)