Case of the Fake people why do guy's have to lie all the time?

  • rac727

    Posts: 198

    Jul 24, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    So basically I just had a shitty encounter with a guy the past 3 days. So this guy smiles at me on adam4adam and (his name is Zeal) starts a conversation we start talking and flirting have a lot in common and this conversation goes on for a while. Eventually he asks me out right on the spot and since (me being the inexperienced gay I am and just having met him) go with my gut and politely turn him down and I say I wanna talk with him more before we do anything which he says he understands. I ask for his number but he refuses to give to to me stating "i don't want someone's number if he isn't planning to be real outside.. just don't want another number in my phone.. u know it's depressing to look at how many people's number you have in phone and they aren't even friends with you outside.. i'm sick of it already... sorry i can't do phone romance.. please spare me the drama if you are so scared to meet me outside." which I found odd because I was planning on meeting him once we got to know each other better so instead he added me on facebook and we concluded the conversation and he logged out. Next day I tried to instigate another conversation however he didn't answer me the entire day. The next day (yesterday) I began to read his about me second of his facebook and his blog (which was linked on his facebook) and found him to quite and intellectual and deep person. i was also quite attracted to him initially so I felt bad for turning him down flat when he asked me out the first time because of my past experiences with guys and decided to message him again to ask if he wanted to do something this weekend. However he responded he was seeing someone and didn't want to talk to multiple guys while dating but said if it didn't work out he would keep me in mind. Which made me feel not only bad about missing out on a nice guy but also feeling like I'm his back-up. So later that day I found out Zeal (the guy) was chatting with a friend of mine (also on adam4adam) and trying to arrange a hook up with him. Zeal told my friend he was single the same day after telling me he was seeing someone. I asked my friend to work me into the conversation (to see his reaction) and my friend suggested the 3 of us hangout Zeal didn't know we were friends. Then Zeal said that he saw my facebook pictures and that I was ugly and I wasn't cute, I seemed clingy, he didn't want to deal with my insecure drama and that he didn't believe i was a virgin. So yeah needless to say I was pissed and so we both confronted him about it he was pissed and we stop talking so yeah. But my point is that it pissed me off that he lied and made up this whole excuse to avoid me when all he had to say was he wasn't interested. It pissed me off more him lying and me catching him in a lie. Not to mention this whole ordeal makes me feel ugly. I mean I know I'm not everyones type but I never had anyone flat out say I was ugly before I was pretty self conscious about my looks before this and thought I was just ok. icon_sad.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 24, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    Ignore his insults; they are just more lies. You're better off without him.
  • Elekid239

    Posts: 128

    Jul 24, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    That is just dreadful, but most men are like that, the outside is all they care about, the sex is all they long for, a geniune person will be there longer than a little fling but they don't realize that, they think a new piece of ass everyday is better than being a human and acknowledging effeminate feelings like love, his loss in my opinion you seem like a cool guy, I'm glad I'm getting a chance to talk to you
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    Jul 24, 2012 7:58 PM GMT
    TL;DR blob of text is TL;DR
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    Jul 25, 2012 12:59 PM GMT
    Yeah..stick to your gut instincts next time...
    So your'e lucky to have found out early on that this guy is not worth any effort..
    Guys who rush into relationships = Red Flag
    Never let a guy "railroad your pace"

    Better luck with the next guy...

    For the record..YOU ARE VERY HANSOME !!..icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:02 PM GMT
    Adam4adam lol good luck
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    You really don't need or deserve that, best to ignore him and carry on. Can't tell what his problem was from that but then best to leave him to it. Also can't let that one instant jade future prospects but you've learnt the warning signs and stick to your guns, don't compromise yourself just to suit someone else. If there's a massive clash from the get go, not much can be done there.
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:08 PM GMT
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:14 PM GMT
    It would seem that not everybody is a right bastard judging by the supportive responses here.
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:21 PM GMT
    Don't get pissed off because of some idiot came across your way %) just imagine how much worse that could be to experience and discover more and more shit with a person like this icon_idea.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16462

    Jul 25, 2012 1:27 PM GMT
    The moment I heard his "perceptions" of me made to another without any kind of reference, he would have gone from my mind. The idea he said he thought you were ugly (not cute) without knowing you, means removal from my list. He isn't worth knowing.

    Remember the venue you are on with Adam. The chances of dealing with others that are of quality and substance as (here) for instance is reduced. You didn't do anything wrong, other than, maybe phrasing your "desire to get to know him" more online before you go out with him in a little different way. My guess is, he was just looking for a piece of ass and was put off that you didn't agree to be "it" when asked. Move on, you can do much better.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1014

    Jul 25, 2012 1:32 PM GMT
    He's not worth your time. He's probably insecure hence having the need to insult you. At least you know what kind of person he is now.

    It would be terrible if you didn't stick to your gut and went out with him the first time he asked.

    You can do better!
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:46 PM GMT
    First off, you should gain more self-esteem. You are a handsome man.

    Secondly, you have no business with a jerk-off. Hold off for something will come. Can you just imagine the manipulation that would follow if you hooked up with him?
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    Jul 25, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    You're on Adam... think about the clientele that's on there...the guy you just mentioned is not worth a second thought. Guys who have to lie to others do it because they're insecure with themselves. So in order to feel good about themselves, they have to perpetrate something that in the end, causes them to end up alone. There is nothing more funny than a guy telling you the wrong name, age, etc., and he's telling you he's looking for honesty from someone else. You can't look for honesty from someone else when you're not honest with yourself. Good to go with your gut instincts, stick with that. You're better off not putting up with some bastardo compiaciuto looking to hitch his burro to another post...
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    Jul 25, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    Gullible comes to mind if you believe even half of what people tell you on a hookup website