Good places to meet relationship oriented men?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    MCC. church, gay fundraisers , sporting events like gay softball or bowling . Social stuff like film festival's or anything outside of the bar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    DR2K saidIt seems like everywhere I go sex is first and foremost and human relationships are foriegn afterthoughts.

    I've outgrown hook ups, so what are my options. I've done bars and online dating sites. All Fail.
    Welcome to the club, and RJ... not sure if they're synonymous yet, but no matter... I'm in the same boat. I want to start meeting guys too, but first I've got to get over my selfish, self serving, get whatever I ask for mentality and be grateful for the men who do come knocking at my door... that is if they're at my door... I should go check* icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    DR2K said
    Caslon20000 said
    DR2K said
    Caslon20000 said
    DR2K said... so what are my options...

    A long slow crawl to death. Srsly.


    I don't like skinny guys. icon_sad.gif

    Did you just call me skinny?


    Are you death?

    Oh death is a skinny guy? I didnt know that.

    I think I am beginning to see the problem here.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    Prison ..icon_eek.gif
    What..???
    Well where the hell is he gonna go???
    5 to 10 is enough time to get really serious !!
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    Jul 29, 2012 1:02 PM GMT
    Try giving dinner parties - the old-fashioned kind where 6 to 8 people sit down around a table with food and wine and talk to each other.
    We gave a targeted dinner that included two lesbians we knew who seemed right for each other, plus some other mutual friends. The conversation flowed like the wine, the ice melted, and 10 years later they're still together.
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    Jul 29, 2012 1:32 PM GMT
    Book shops/ the library icon_biggrin.gif

    Nah, I don't really have that much of a clue. The good ones are always low key or shy and it's so hard to know whether to approach them or not.

    They need to wear a sign or be branded with the label 'Cute ,Caring and Available Gay Man'. icon_biggrin.gif
  • alphatop

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    Jul 29, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    Try dating transgenders. They usually have the best of both sexes.
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    Jul 29, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    To the OP I always wonder about this myself.
    Often the most common advice I've come across in regards to this subject matter was "try hooking up and you never know it could lead to more."

    Unfortunately, like the few that I've seen from other forum topics I am in the really small percentage of people who don't like hooking up coupled with naturally not being into the clubs/bars scene.

    I think eventually as gay people become more accepted in the general public and community you'll be able to find them in all sorts of places openly however at present time the majority usually just flock to the gay 'village' because that's where they are.

    Quite the predicament...
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    Jul 29, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    In relationships.
    So.... threesomes. icon_biggrin.gif


    Also, OkCupid.
    But yeah, even if people do think of sex first doesn't mean that can't be relationship oriented. After all, they don't know you when they first meet you, so being relationship oriented first would be a bit backward -- assuming one is interested in both.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    What's the point of finding an intellectually compatible, relationship oriented guy if you don't find him attractive or if he's not sexually compatible?

    Take these out and you are left with a friendship.

    Now, why don't you all rephrase the question to express what it really means?

    How to make gay friends?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    I am not so much into hookups any more either. So I joined a LGBT Professionals Network in the town where I live and I have had a few guys ask me out from there. I have had a couple of really good dates so far that could lead to something more. I have also joined a runing group and am doing a fast track program. I have met a couple of great guys there too and I haven't even gone out and run with the gay men group yet.

    I would say that you need to join a couple of groups that you would be interested in. When I lived in Phoenix there were a couple of gay men groups on meetup. Go to meetup.com and search for groups you would be interested in your area. After I had been in the meetup group for a while. Some of the partnered guys would invite me over for dinner and invite a guy along they thought I would be interested in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:37 PM GMT
    Well first, it's good to know where not to look. Cross off gay clubs/bars(or any clubs/bars for that matter) as they are mainly hook-up sites. Also, I would try to look past the internet as you may not be so lucky to find a real relationship there either.

    So where to look? Most people say just live life and meet guys as you go. You could do that, but you could increase your exposure to other like-minded guys too.
    Bottom line: Get involved! Join gay-friendly clubs, gay rights groups, gay sports leagues/teams, gay interest groups if your community has them. Your community may not have them(mine doesn't), but otherwise, I would get involved in what interests you because who knows you may meet some cute guys along the way.

    Also, if you're looking for a relationship and you're not out to the public yet, you may find yourself needing to come out of the closet or at least establishing that you are comfortable with your sexuality. It's going to be tough to find a guy if they can't read you, and it's going to be even tougher if you trying to be too secretive about your gay relations.
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    Jul 29, 2012 3:51 PM GMT
    easterndude69 said[...]
    Also, if you're looking for a relationship and you're not out to the public yet, you may find yourself needing to come out of the closet or at least establishing that you are comfortable with your sexuality. It's going to be tough to find a guy if they can't read you, and it's going to be even tougher if you trying to be too secretive about your gay relations.


    Excellent points. It's hard enough as to find one being totally out.
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    Jul 30, 2012 12:27 AM GMT
    You can meet a lot of people through hookups! If you end up wanting to see each other again, it will happen! Met one of my very best gay friends on manhunt...we met up a couple times, fucked, turned out we weren't really that into each other physically but became really good friends and the rest is history.

    The more guys you meet, the more chances youve got of meeting one you really like!
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    Jul 30, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    Kyboy270 saidYou can meet a lot of people through hookups! If you end up wanting to see each other again, it will happen! Met one of my very best gay friends on manhunt...we met up a couple times, fucked, turned out we weren't really that into each other physically but became really good friends and the rest is history.

    The more guys you meet, the more chances youve got of meeting one you really like!


    Don't break RJ's n.1 dogma! MH is for hookups only!!
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    Jul 30, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    Iceblink said
    Brazilianaire said
    Iceblink saidI've seen this type of thread so many times on here, and hundreds of gay guys saying the same thing, here and irl. With so many of you claiming you're looking for the same thing, why are you all still single? I don't understand.


    I don't think the question was about how many times the thread has been created. For those of us who don't thumb through every thread every day, it might be the first time seeing it. Perhaps you sir should have provided or attempted to provide an answer to what he asked instead of an off topic, unhelpful response. Since it seems you are in a relationship and also have "seen this type of thread so many times on here", it would have perhaps been easier, helpful, and not to mention a lot nicer to speak on how you obtained yours.

    And that is not what my post is about- how many times this thread has been created. The point of bringing up the amount of threads concerning this topic and all the posts that follow is that it shows thousands of guys are saying the same thing, but somehow they all keep claiming other guys who want a relationship do not exist. With all the methods of communication that are available today, it seems it should be easier today to meet someone, but somehow it seems to be the opposite. Maybe technology has been a detriment to real life social skills, I don't know. My relationship begin with a conversation after meeting through mutual friends nearly 10 years ago. Not something planned on our friends part, we just started talking.


    Okay, I do agree with you on that. There are far more methods today.. and yes it does seem like it should be easier however appearing to be the opposite. I think it's probably the same as how all of these new gadgets are supposed to make people more efficient and manage time better, however it actually wastes more time. I think the way that you met your love is perhaps in a way that most love connections actually begin... unexpected.. when one is not actively searching for one. Congrats on 10 years. =^) Hmm.. So maybe you (guy who posted the question) should just continue to better yourself and go outside of your normal spaces and places... then perhaps the unexpected will happen when you are least expecting it.
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    Jul 30, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    bachian said
    Brazilianaire saidPlaces that are more tranquil, where many people aren't necessarily even thinking about hooking up... like museums... zoos (Probably will see nice zoologists, naturalists, animal behaviorists, photographers, artists, etc.).. plays.. and places where more cerebral, intelligent, deep thinkers would perhaps go... which will allow for more intelligent and interesting conversation. If he can't stimulate your mind.. leave him behind. Listen to some Jill Scott..


    The n.1 problem with this approach is that while it's "easy" to find a nice guy with whom you have an intellectual connection, it's a whole different deal finding someone who also happens to be fit instead of being yet another sedentary guy.


    Yes, but I think that's any place. Even if you went to a gym to purposely find a potential love (Gym Gods forbid), there will be some people who are not fit and sedentary. So I'd rather find someone who is fairly nice, personable, and intelligent.. than someone who is as hard as a rock and as dumb as rock. I'm not so much concerned about the body because I can change a physique that is at least a 6 into a 9.5-10 in less than 1.5 years.
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    Jul 30, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    Kyboy270 saidYou can meet a lot of people through hookups! If you end up wanting to see each other again, it will happen! Met one of my very best gay friends on manhunt...we met up a couple times, fucked, turned out we weren't really that into each other physically but became really good friends and the rest is history.

    The more guys you meet, the more chances youve got of meeting one you really like!


    Yeah, but who wants to walk down the street with someone who has slept with damn near every guy you pass by.. or be with someone who has a sex cult of friends. I know I've heard a saying that you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince, but I've never heard about freaking these frogs. Also, It seems a lot of gay friendships spawn from botched hookups. Yes, it happens of course and it's not really a horrible thing, but why not at least see if they'll make a good friend first.. and if not, then decide to just do what you guys came to do and leave it as a hookup.
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    Jul 30, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    Take part in Sporting events in your local area.. I play on the gay tennis, wrestling, softball and bowling leagues. Met many guys that are relationship oriented.. Happy hunting and good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    The best way to meet people, including guys, is to get out there and do things you like to do.
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    Jul 30, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    Prison for sure, they have a lot of time on their hands to build and develop relationships!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    I've had good luck meeting quality guys at the following places - in no particular order:

    * Various departments within my company
    * The gym or track, or pools while doing laps
    * Out running on a normal street
    * Through my alumni association gatherings
    * Through my Rotary meetings
    * At my Episcopal church / cocktail or sherry hours
    * Concours d'Elegance (old car events)
    * Through friends or co-workers
    * In my neighborhood
    * Last but not least: Right here in Forums.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    pubs
  • FRE0

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    Aug 02, 2012 2:31 AM GMT
    Brazilianaire said
    Kyboy270 saidYou can meet a lot of people through hookups! If you end up wanting to see each other again, it will happen! Met one of my very best gay friends on manhunt...we met up a couple times, fucked, turned out we weren't really that into each other physically but became really good friends and the rest is history.

    The more guys you meet, the more chances youve got of meeting one you really like!


    Yeah, but who wants to walk down the street with someone who has slept with damn near every guy you pass by.. or be with someone who has a sex cult of friends. I know I've heard a saying that you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince, but I've never heard about freaking these frogs. Also, It seems a lot of gay friendships spawn from botched hookups. Yes, it happens of course and it's not really a horrible thing, but why not at least see if they'll make a good friend first.. and if not, then decide to just do what you guys came to do and leave it as a hookup.


    I agree, at least in theory, but then many guys don't want to enter into a love relationship with people they know. I've tried ruling out sex until getting to know someone well, but many guys thing you should have sex first THEN get to know each other, but I don't really want to use that approach.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    Dont try asking any of the local couples if they know any single guys, friends of theirs, that might be interested in dating. The locals usually arent very helpful.