Better Looking = Fewer Long Term Relationships?

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    Aug 04, 2012 8:08 PM GMT
    Oddly, most of my very attractive friends tend to settle and get involved in long term relationships (often with -way- less attractive partners), while those on the other end of the scale go for cheap hook-ups and cannot date for more than a few months.
    Ehh.
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    Aug 04, 2012 8:11 PM GMT
    WestCoastGuy said#prettypeopleproblemsicon_question.gif


    Haha yup
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    Aug 04, 2012 8:12 PM GMT
    It's so untrue. I'm not particularly good-looking and I've had very few long-term relationships. icon_sad.gif
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    Aug 31, 2012 12:26 PM GMT
    i'm not good looking. i've had 2 serious long term relationships. its been almost 3 yrs since the last one ended and, since then, i've had a string of short relationships that haven't gone anywhere. my best friend thinks i'm afraid of taking risks since the last big breakup - we were supposed to get married, he changed his mind, and to make a long story short, the breakup was emotionally draining and devastating.

    one of my buddies is drop dead gorgeous - i mean, if you like that chiseled muscley australian brad pitt surfer look. feh! when i walk down the street with him, literally every head will turn and stare at him, and i feel like i'm wearing the cloak of invisibility. he has to actively ignore all the gasping queens and pretend its not happening. but at the same time, he derives a lot of pride and ego because of it. his boyfriends are usually drop dead gorgeous - porn material, but they don't last more than a few months. i think that with lots of guys literally throwing themselves at him, he has become (a) very sensitive to flirtation, (b) easily irritated with unwanted attention, and (c) as a result of too many options freely available, people become disposable to him. people then talk behind his back about his potential bed mates, his aloof personality, and lots of other conjecture.

    he once burst out at me saying "stop flirting with me!" when all i was doing was being his friend and talking shit like friends do. all this boils down to the fact that he's above average looking. he tends to hang with above average looking guys who are very image conscious, and he works in advertising - an industry also full of vapid superficial cut throat people. in his world, appearances are very important, substance is hard to come by, and depth is often unexplored. then there's the occasional oddball with the great personality, such as myself. but even i have to work at keeping his attention, in a circus full of distractions.

    i think your theory has some merit, in describing a trend. but it seems to be a non-problem. poor little gorgeous things. the solution is the same as it is for everyone else: don't judge a book by its cover. take the time to read it. only then will you discover true depth, meaning, and value.
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    Aug 31, 2012 12:44 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    kencarson saidI've been single for about 6 years now. A lot of my friends seem baffled by this. I always get, "You're so handsome! You must be beating them off with a stick!" Or something to that affect.

    c84968ac4f3b32ed71539a2118d5c4cc.jpg
    Any thoughts?


    Yes I have some thoughts. You're a sexy creature. That curiously odd receding hairline and those disproportionately tiny hands are really working for me. icon_wink.gif

    I see what your'e saying. I find that good looking gay men tend to have a curse and a gift all rolled into one. They're good looking and idealized for their physical traits which can open doors for them. On the other hand, not much depth is established within the community of other than maintaining physical good looks. So people really aren't being "seen" for who they are as a person inside a physical body.

    I was at the gay beach again in Chicago today. I love going on Sundays, it's my church. icon_smile.gif There are so many fine male specimens around and they're all in their cliques. I will admit I like the eye candy but I go because there are no kids to grate on my eardrums. I like my quiet. icon_twisted.gif

    It's just my experience but I find that I spend all my time chitchatting with lesbians. We get along so well and have so much in common. But I don't really bother talking to the guys. They're pretty to look at but we really don't have much in common. So in my own way, yes I see what you're saying.

    Curiously, all the lesbians I meet are sort of on the overweight side. Unabashedly, they strip down to their bikinis and let the rolls and cellulite show. But you know what? They're typically in some of the longest relationships compared to their gay male brethren. And from my observation they seem a lot happier than most of the gay men I know.

    It's probably a combination of men's innate obsession with physical beauty, sort of in a way that straight men seek in females. Only with gay men, not only do they seek it out but they know they have to develop it in themselves to attract a mate. But there's not much else I find that gay men do to develop their inner selves. It's mostly drugs, nightclubs, focus on high paying jobs to be able to afford high end tangible acquisitions, sex and the gym. With a gay man's attention on those things there's not much time or energy left to focus on much else. But what I find what happens is that these men who 'had it all' see it gradually slip away when their youth fades. I tend to wonder, are they more mature because they're in their forties/fifties and are now looking for "more" or is it simply because they're not as hot as they were when they were twenty-five and simply can't command the level of attention they could years ago? Maybe it's a combination of both.


    WOW. Brilliant all over that
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    Aug 31, 2012 12:50 PM GMT
    Even if this was TRUE for Everybody, what does it matter if you've got one LTR that works for both of you; or a lot that take turns being a part of your life... or whatever mix?
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    Aug 31, 2012 1:22 PM GMT
    As a child, I was truly obese (250 lbs on a < 5'9" frame). If I wanted friends, I had to make sure they wanted to hang around me. I became more mellow, funnier, removed a lot of character quirks and strange ideas, because they got in my way.

    I noticed that my ever-good-looking friends never did that work. Other people were perfectly happy to put up with whatever strange behaviors they'd adopted, never complained until they got fed up with them and left.

    In particular, I recall living in Rome and meeting this incredibly beautiful Valentino model at the beach. He had fallen for this guy and they had been going out for a while. Then the model brazenly hooked up with another guy right in front of his lover at a party. The whole nine yards: kissed him right in front of his lover, then dragged him into one of the bedrooms, where he was then discovered by the host, who proceeded to kick out both of them.

    When I asked him why he had done that, he simply shrugged and said, "There will be more like him. There always are."
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    Aug 31, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    The reason you haven't developed a long term relationship isn't because you suck at sex, isn't your lack of social skills, isn't because you fear intimacy. It is because you are very attractive.

    For a minute there I thought this was a real thread. I didn't realize it was the Onion.
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    Aug 31, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    I moved to Denver, Colorado a while back and it was so beautiful to see the mountains every morning. I loved it there, until 5 months later when I was used to seeing the mountains. Then I moved to NYC and it looked ok, not nearly as nice as being in Colorado but I've made some of the greatest friends a guy could ever have and now I may never leave here.
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    Aug 31, 2012 2:00 PM GMT
    I don't see the correlation between better looking and fewer relationships. What I do see is an excuse possibly to not commit into something that can potentially workout. When two people with much in common, chemistry, stable, and well good guys, there is no reason that is doesn't work other than 1 or the other do not want to put forth an effort to commit into a relationship.

    I will say though that better looking people most likely get hit on by other people more often then well not-so attractive guys. (So there is more opportunity to stray.) It's just the point to have the control and will power to stay true to yourself and your partner to have the relationship work out. Good luck in all future endeavors! Peace and good things!
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    Aug 31, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    kencarson saidI've been single for about 6 years now. A lot of my friends seem baffled by this. I always get, "You're so handsome! You must be beating them off with a stick!" Or something to that affect.

    Last night I was out to a movie with my friend. We got to talking about relationships and what we're attracted to, and how hard it is to have one. He and I are both pretty good looking and have good bodies, so I brought up the question:

    "How many of your friends are good looking and have nice bodies?"

    "Quite a few."

    "How many of those friends have had or are currently in long term relationships, but aren't serial monogamists?"

    "Almost none."

    I just finished reading The Velvet Rage, and it brought up the trend that gay men who are very focused on their own looks, also tend to require that their partner be as or more good looking as they are. The author goes on to state that many times (not always) men who look for looks as one of the primary requirements for getting into a relationship with someone, often get bored when the "glitter" of the physical dulls and are left with what we all are, an imperfect person.

    I took offense to this at first. I mean, I know I have more to offer than just looks. I'm funny, smart, good at my job, etc. But the thing I present to the world the most, is how I look. It's the first thing people see, in person. It's the cute picture I put up of myself on Facebook. It's the majority of what people look at on my dating profile sites.

    So, if I'm putting it out there, it stands to reason that that's what people will see in me primarily, and possibly why I get bored of me when they find out my quirks and that I don't look so great first thing in the morning.

    I see the trend in most of my good-looking friends too. Either they're clinically single, they hop from boyfriend to boyfriend, or their long term relationship includes some sort of on the side deal (something I'm not necessarily opposed to, but certainly not something I'm seeking out.)

    I don't know what the answer is. Do people in long term relationships just settle? Or are they presenting more than just the physical that attracts people who are looking for more than that? Are all good-looking people always just looking for the next best thing? Or have they just gotten used to a pattern of in-and-out relationships that it's hard to break?

    Any thoughts?



    I was single for 3 years until June of this year and thought the same. I didn't think I settled but apparently the whole world and their mom thought my bf was ugly and not good enough, but needless to say... I was definitely head over heels for this guy. No one can help noticing an eye candy, it's human nature. My bf had low self esteem and was overly jealous. The fact that I was attractive and made guys notice me, whether it was on Facebook, clubs, gas station, or even work, he had completely made himself crazy to the point where he didn't trust me! He always thought I would flirt with some random guy. I guess what I'm trying to say is... There's no simple answer to this. Either we are single because we expect to be with someone as, or more attractive as we are, or your partner will get intimidated by how attractive you are.

    It's all about finding the one at the end of the day and clicking completely.
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    Aug 31, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    Or it might be that Narcissism. I have to agree with Credo on this one.

    credo said
    kencarson saidI've been single for about 6 years now. A lot of my friends seem baffled by this. I always get, "You're so handsome! You must be beating them off with a stick!" Or something to that affect.

    Last night I was out to a movie with my friend. We got to talking about relationships and what we're attracted to, and how hard it is to have one. He and I are both pretty good looking and have good bodies, so I brought up the question:

    "How many of your friends are good looking and have nice bodies?"

    "Quite a few."

    "How many of those friends have had or are currently in long term relationships, but aren't serial monogamists?"

    "Almost none."

    I just finished reading The Velvet Rage, and it brought up the trend that gay men who are very focused on their own looks, also tend to require that their partner be as or more good looking as they are. The author goes on to state that many times (not always) men who look for looks as one of the primary requirements for getting into a relationship with someone, often get bored when the "glitter" of the physical dulls and are left with what we all are, an imperfect person.

    I took offense to this at first. I mean, I know I have more to offer than just looks. I'm funny, smart, good at my job, etc. But the thing I present to the world the most, is how I look. It's the first thing people see, in person. It's the cute picture I put up of myself on Facebook. It's the majority of what people look at on my dating profile sites.

    So, if I'm putting it out there, it stands to reason that that's what people will see in me primarily, and possibly why I get bored of me when they find out my quirks and that I don't look so great first thing in the morning.

    I see the trend in most of my good-looking friends too. Either they're clinically single, they hop from boyfriend to boyfriend, or their long term relationship includes some sort of on the side deal (something I'm not necessarily opposed to, but certainly not something I'm seeking out.)

    I don't know what the answer is. Do people in long term relationships just settle? Or are they presenting more than just the physical that attracts people who are looking for more than that? Are all good-looking people always just looking for the next best thing? Or have they just gotten used to a pattern of in-and-out relationships that it's hard to break?

    Any thoughts?


    Oh, I have SO many thoughts, though most aren't complimentary.

    I'm not going to say you aren't good looking. You are physically attractive, but you aren't nearly as good looking as you think you are.

    Go ahead and keep living the life of a Hoover. I hate to break it to you, but that constant sucking sound you hear comes from your lack of humility, not from the droves of admirers.

    The best thing that could ever happen to you is if you were to wake up tomorrow morning with your face melted off ... ouch, okay, that's a bit extreme. Let's say you wake up in the morning with a serious case of Bell's Palsy. I'm not talking Greta Van Susteren-esque Bell's Palsy, but total paralysis.

    Based on your post, it would take something that extreme to enlighten you, but the chances of that happening is something like 1 in 300K. Not great news, I know, but there is an upside: we all get old and ugly.

    Is that what it will take to pull your head out of your ass?
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    Aug 31, 2012 4:57 PM GMT
    the title of my memoirs: "Hey, I'm beautiful on the inside!" icon_confused.gif

    the title of your memoirs: "Help me, I'm gorgeous" icon_rolleyes.gif

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    Aug 31, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    I'm going to draw out an analogy you may find wise, absurd, amusing, or possibly all of the above.

    I'm a big Halo fanboy (the first-person shooter, for you geezers). It has the usual armory: pistols, assault rifles, grenades. Every once in a while, a rocket launcher pops up. You would think that possessing the rocket launcher would be an awesome thing, but usually the guy who grabs the rocket launcher spends all of his time obsessing: "Should I use it now? Is this a big enough target? I don't want to waste rockets!" Ya know what usually happens to that guy? He accidentally walks off a cliff without ever firing a single rocket. Meanwhile, the rest of us were having an awesome time with our simpler weapons, blowing fuckers away with our plentiful bullets.

    Don't be a rocket launcher.

    Those of us who are not sculpted demigods come to Earth to walk amongst the mortals do not "settle". It's simply a matter of believing that finding something to love about someone and caring for them is more important than seeking perfection. This makes commitment easier. Do not spend your whole life chasing unicorns if you're not really enjoying it.
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    Aug 31, 2012 11:08 PM GMT
    gay, i mean, you can be sexy as hell and still do a long term relationship. I just think that most hot guys cant consumed within themselves and have to have every guy to satisfy themselves. Nasty.
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    Aug 31, 2012 11:30 PM GMT
    credo said
    kencarson saidI've been single for about 6 years now. A lot of my friends seem baffled by this. I always get, "You're so handsome! You must be beating them off with a stick!" Or something to that affect.

    Last night I was out to a movie with my friend. We got to talking about relationships and what we're attracted to, and how hard it is to have one. He and I are both pretty good looking and have good bodies, so I brought up the question:

    "How many of your friends are good looking and have nice bodies?"

    "Quite a few."

    "How many of those friends have had or are currently in long term relationships, but aren't serial monogamists?"

    "Almost none."

    I just finished reading The Velvet Rage, and it brought up the trend that gay men who are very focused on their own looks, also tend to require that their partner be as or more good looking as they are. The author goes on to state that many times (not always) men who look for looks as one of the primary requirements for getting into a relationship with someone, often get bored when the "glitter" of the physical dulls and are left with what we all are, an imperfect person.

    I took offense to this at first. I mean, I know I have more to offer than just looks. I'm funny, smart, good at my job, etc. But the thing I present to the world the most, is how I look. It's the first thing people see, in person. It's the cute picture I put up of myself on Facebook. It's the majority of what people look at on my dating profile sites.

    So, if I'm putting it out there, it stands to reason that that's what people will see in me primarily, and possibly why I get bored of me when they find out my quirks and that I don't look so great first thing in the morning.

    I see the trend in most of my good-looking friends too. Either they're clinically single, they hop from boyfriend to boyfriend, or their long term relationship includes some sort of on the side deal (something I'm not necessarily opposed to, but certainly not something I'm seeking out.)

    I don't know what the answer is. Do people in long term relationships just settle? Or are they presenting more than just the physical that attracts people who are looking for more than that? Are all good-looking people always just looking for the next best thing? Or have they just gotten used to a pattern of in-and-out relationships that it's hard to break?

    Any thoughts?


    Oh, I have SO many thoughts, though most aren't complimentary.

    I'm not going to say you aren't good looking. You are physically attractive, but you aren't nearly as good looking as you think you are.

    Go ahead and keep living the life of a Hoover. I hate to break it to you, but that constant sucking sound you hear comes from your lack of humility, not from the droves of admirers.

    The best thing that could ever happen to you is if you were to wake up tomorrow morning with your face melted off ... ouch, okay, that's a bit extreme. Let's say you wake up in the morning with a serious case of Bell's Palsy. I'm not talking Greta Van Susteren-esque Bell's Palsy, but total paralysis.

    Based on your post, it would take something that extreme to enlighten you, but the chances of that happening is something like 1 in 300K. Not great news, I know, but there is an upside: we all get old and ugly.

    Is that what it will take to pull your head out of your ass?


    you are being a bit harsh;. take a look around this site or big muscle or what ever it is called. there are men who arguably would be termed hot/good looking who at 50 + are still whining that they cannot find a man. instead they go from one hookup to another while claiming they are seeking that one ltr soul mate yada yada yada. they young man is not alone in asking this question. at least he is honest enough to attempt finding an answer.


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    Aug 31, 2012 11:37 PM GMT
    Can I be physically attracted to a guy and not have to settle?

    The short answer is No. But then again, a relationship is not about "settling". It's about accepting and embracing. The fact you present it that way makes me wonder if you know what it means to be in a relationship.

    Being a human being is complicated and finding someone even more so. There will ALWAYS be others that can, very easily, contend with the appearance of the guy we're with-- even if the current guy we're with was someone who we felt "he was the most handsome guy on the planet." We're not just physically attracted to the guy. We're attracted to the IDEA of the guy too! Once the mystery is solved, we want another man to replace him. Being an attractive man yourself makes this harder because you may want someone who is more than meets the eye but appearances do matter. You will date someone who values and shares the same things, in principle, as you. Like one poster said, it's not about looking into someone eyes more so than it is about where you and your partner are looking, together.

    I think attraction is most certainly pivotal and matters when deciding a person. You have to be physically attracted to your guy or else there will always be a part of you that is left unsatisfied; however, if you always feel unsatisfied no matter who you're with, there's a problem with you and your expectations.

    I've always seen someone who was 'too' attractive as something that was isolating and alienating as someone who may have been 'too' unattractive. With people who are attractive, they are hounded by individuals who objectify their appearances and want 'a piece of that'-- the trophy complex. "Yeah, I dated a hot model. He was fucking gorgeous. Yeah I tapped that ass." It's how some people are. People who are unattractive are usually never considered and default onto the "Nice guy finish last" excuse. The truth is, we all want to be loved and desired as much as the next person. Our complexes is what prevents that from happening.

    "Woe is me! I am so beautiful yet I cannot find even among these cretins one man who is equally beautiful and will treat me right." *Dramatic flail*

    Another part that goes into this is what you feel a relationship entails. How do you define a 'relationship'? How does that happen? What needs to occur for it to work? Think about it, tease the idea some in your head. For me, there is a difference between a relationship and enslavement. A successful relationship is always one in which nurtures, appreciates, and unites two individuals in a cohesive interdependent bond. It draws out the things that make you happy and enrich you. A person who is good for you brings out your strengths, causes you to grow, and appreciates your weaknesses/flaws. Can you say that for yourself when it comes to others? Is it about your continued satisfaction or is it about the collective happiness you share with your partner?

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    Aug 31, 2012 11:47 PM GMT
    Blondizgd said
    credo said
    kencarson saidI've been single for about 6 years now. A lot of my friends seem baffled by this. I always get, "You're so handsome! You must be beating them off with a stick!" Or something to that affect.

    Last night I was out to a movie with my friend. We got to talking about relationships and what we're attracted to, and how hard it is to have one. He and I are both pretty good looking and have good bodies, so I brought up the question:

    "How many of your friends are good looking and have nice bodies?"

    "Quite a few."

    "How many of those friends have had or are currently in long term relationships, but aren't serial monogamists?"

    "Almost none."

    I just finished reading The Velvet Rage, and it brought up the trend that gay men who are very focused on their own looks, also tend to require that their partner be as or more good looking as they are. The author goes on to state that many times (not always) men who look for looks as one of the primary requirements for getting into a relationship with someone, often get bored when the "glitter" of the physical dulls and are left with what we all are, an imperfect person.

    I took offense to this at first. I mean, I know I have more to offer than just looks. I'm funny, smart, good at my job, etc. But the thing I present to the world the most, is how I look. It's the first thing people see, in person. It's the cute picture I put up of myself on Facebook. It's the majority of what people look at on my dating profile sites.

    So, if I'm putting it out there, it stands to reason that that's what people will see in me primarily, and possibly why I get bored of me when they find out my quirks and that I don't look so great first thing in the morning.

    I see the trend in most of my good-looking friends too. Either they're clinically single, they hop from boyfriend to boyfriend, or their long term relationship includes some sort of on the side deal (something I'm not necessarily opposed to, but certainly not something I'm seeking out.)

    I don't know what the answer is. Do people in long term relationships just settle? Or are they presenting more than just the physical that attracts people who are looking for more than that? Are all good-looking people always just looking for the next best thing? Or have they just gotten used to a pattern of in-and-out relationships that it's hard to break?

    Any thoughts?


    Oh, I have SO many thoughts, though most aren't complimentary.

    I'm not going to say you aren't good looking. You are physically attractive, but you aren't nearly as good looking as you think you are.

    Go ahead and keep living the life of a Hoover. I hate to break it to you, but that constant sucking sound you hear comes from your lack of humility, not from the droves of admirers.

    The best thing that could ever happen to you is if you were to wake up tomorrow morning with your face melted off ... ouch, okay, that's a bit extreme. Let's say you wake up in the morning with a serious case of Bell's Palsy. I'm not talking Greta Van Susteren-esque Bell's Palsy, but total paralysis.

    Based on your post, it would take something that extreme to enlighten you, but the chances of that happening is something like 1 in 300K. Not great news, I know, but there is an upside: we all get old and ugly.

    Is that what it will take to pull your head out of your ass?


    you are being a bit harsh;. take a look around this site or big muscle or what ever it is called. there are men who arguably would be termed hot/good looking who at 50 + are still whining that they cannot find a man. instead they go from one hookup to another while claiming they are seeking that one ltr soul mate yada yada yada. they young man is not alone in asking this question. at least he is honest enough to attempt finding an answer.




    Problem being is a lot of them (big muscle or any dude that spends more than 1 or 1 1/2 hours a day working out) are positioning themselves to be looking at the door (when in the bar and supposedly talking to you) to see who is coming in that is more worthy than you of the pleasure of their company. Most of them have spent so many years completely self-centered that they have no idea what it takes to have a relationship....
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    Sep 01, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    There's a battle between what the soul needs and what the body/mind wants. Many, many guys sacrifice the former for the latter and we're really, really good at justifying it to ourselves. What's devastating is that many of us are incapable of distinguishing between the two. That isn't to say that if you're good looking and single that you are sacrificing your soul. It just speaks to the obstacles in finding two guys who 1) know what they want and need 2) are able to balance what they want and need and 3) are a match. We haven't even discussed the sacrifice required to make that match work.

    So, youu may be single because you're vain. Or you may be single because finding a good match is really, really hard to find but really, really worth the wait.
  • kencarson

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    Sep 01, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    First of all, thank you everyone for your responses! I've enjoyed reading them.

    For the people who just think I'm a narcissist, maybe I should make a few things clear.

    I grew up a chubby, pimply, nerdy queer kid who was bullied not just for being gay, but my appearance. If you were to talk with most of my friends, they would tell you that I'm the first one to talk down my looks, or not even admit to having them. Lately, I'm trying to give credit where credit is due. I work hard on my body and take care of myself, and that has resulted in me becoming more physically attractive. Do I believe I'm the be all end all of beauty, ABSOLUTELY NOT! In fact even writing down that I was attractive in this post, made me uncomfortable, because I never want to become that guy who thinks he's God's gift to gay men.

    I think my favorite post was the Halo analogy with the rocket launcher.

    FuriousGeorge saidI'm going to draw out an analogy you may find wise, absurd, amusing, or possibly all of the above.

    I'm a big Halo fanboy (the first-person shooter, for you geezers). It has the usual armory: pistols, assault rifles, grenades. Every once in a while, a rocket launcher pops up. You would think that possessing the rocket launcher would be an awesome thing, but usually the guy who grabs the rocket launcher spends all of his time obsessing: "Should I use it now? Is this a big enough target? I don't want to waste rockets!" Ya know what usually happens to that guy? He accidentally walks off a cliff without ever firing a single rocket. Meanwhile, the rest of us were having an awesome time with our simpler weapons, blowing fuckers away with our plentiful bullets.


    THAT was the point I was trying to make. In my experience, looks seem to work against a really good looking person. Either all they look for in a partner is looks, or all people see in them is a conquest, or good fuck.

    When I bring this up to people, they ask me why I don't just date someone I don't find attractive. I also have a problem with that. I want to date someone I find attractive, but I don't want that to be the only thing that's there. Is it wrong to hope for someone I find attractive, as well as someone who isn't just about looks?

    That's what I'm talking about when I say I don't want to settle.
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    Sep 01, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    All I could think of when reading the original post was this song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg
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    Sep 01, 2012 12:56 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidI'm going to draw out an analogy you may find wise, absurd, amusing, or possibly all of the above.

    I'm a big Halo fanboy (the first-person shooter, for you geezers). It has the usual armory: pistols, assault rifles, grenades. Every once in a while, a rocket launcher pops up. You would think that possessing the rocket launcher would be an awesome thing, but usually the guy who grabs the rocket launcher spends all of his time obsessing: "Should I use it now? Is this a big enough target? I don't want to waste rockets!" Ya know what usually happens to that guy? He accidentally walks off a cliff without ever firing a single rocket. Meanwhile, the rest of us were having an awesome time with our simpler weapons, blowing fuckers away with our plentiful bullets.

    Don't be a rocket launcher.

    Those of us who are not sculpted demigods come to Earth to walk amongst the mortals do not "settle". It's simply a matter of believing that finding something to love about someone and caring for them is more important than seeking perfection. This makes commitment easier. Do not spend your whole life chasing unicorns if you're not really enjoying it.


    This is an AWESOME way to put it.
    I totally agree with this, no more to add. +1
  • kencarson

    Posts: 224

    Sep 01, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    I think I am doing something to turn them off. My career has me never in the same place for more than a year. Hard to develop something with that as a factor.

    Stupid dream jobs...
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    Sep 01, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    This is a fascinating subject, with all sorts of social implications. I do think there is some truth to good-looking folks having a harder time finding a long-term relationship, but I think there's more to it than the general mindset of, "Oh, I'm pretty, I guess I should date someone as pretty as I am." That may in fact happen, but I wouldn't say it's entirely for fickle reasons -- generally, if you put a lot of effort into your physical appearance, that's a determinant of a numberless amount of other characteristics you probably possess as a person. In that case, you're not really seeking out physical beauty, you're seeking out someone with a similar drive and appreciation for image and self-preservation. That, from my perspective, isn't superficial, it's just another thing to add to that list of "Things I'm Looking For" on a dating profile.

    For example, I look for someone at least as attractive as I am, but that doesn't necessarily mean they need the strong and masculine body type. They could have a great sense of style, wear a nice hair 'do, or flash a pearly-white smile -- I just need them to care about their appearance.

    That probably doesn't answer your question, but I don't think this is the type of question that can really be answered until sociologists start to really dive into LGBTQ culture. I do love the Halo analogy, though...
  • kencarson

    Posts: 224

    Sep 01, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    Yogi567 saidAll I could think of when reading the original post was this song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg


    HA! Well done, sir.