Better Looking = Fewer Long Term Relationships?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 3:46 AM GMT
    , Why do you think most *hot celebs (gay and straight) get divorce or break up all the time? It's because they're hot, rich and can sleep with whoever they want. They don't know what they want? Their love life is a mess. (The one example I can think of a gay couple is - Neil Patrick Harris & David Burka, I mean I don't think NPH is like a gorgeous male supermodel or anything, he's cute, quirky and funny but he's married DB and settled down.)

    . As far as hot gay guys go, sometimes they give off that *I'm so hot so I can be stand-offish sort of attitude in the bar or they don't even say hi or engage in conversation via online, grindr...etc. So, sometimes the *average gay guys feel like they have no chance, why bother with that one, try someone *less hot. But I mean, beauty is still in the eye of the beholder, not every guys like the tall 6'0, blond/ken/barbie look? After a while, you want more spice and excitement in your life.

    . So I think that, for the most part, it's the hot gay guys who have the *problems of dating/ltr and they need to lower their standards a bit and realized that gay men are beautiful/hot in every different ways instead of just focusing on the look/perfect abs/body/hair/ethnicity.....etc. No guy is perfect really. Your love life is not going to change unless you're willing to take risks and take a chance on Real people. PERIOD.

    (This maybe a bad example but in the film BRUNO, SBC/Bruno settled down with the plain jane Assistant Lutz (after he realized that Lutz is an awesome guy who love him very much) living in Los Angeles with the adopted Black baby, O.J in the end).

    To KenCarson/OP, to answer your question earlier in the thread, you probably need to spend more than a year to make friends, date around and potentially find the one, stop moving or traveling so much. I saw your pictures/profile, too....not many smiling pics, I'm just getting a little unfriendly vibes from it. Maybe that's why guys are not flocking to you? Just an observation.

    P.S. side story, I dated this one hot blond, 6'1 male nurse named Jeremy 29 yo back in 2007 in Marina Del Rey, sexy and cute as hell. It turned out he string me along just for fun while doing his cocaine routines and engage in orgies with other dudes. I was emotionally devastated for 2 months in the summer. I swear, now I am kind of scared and wary of super-hot guys.

    Hope some of my insights help. icon_biggrin.gif

  • kencarson

    Posts: 224

    Sep 01, 2012 3:53 AM GMT
    I know. I need to smile more. Or at least take more photos of my smiling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    wtf @ Credo - you would wish facial paralysis on someone?!
    that's fucked up... whether you were being facetious or not
    to everyone who thinks the OP is a narcissist - he is not. I chat to him a lot and he's hardly into himself the way some seem to assume he is.
    And, no, he did not put me up to writing this...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    Here's how it goes with my relationships

    Better looking than me = sex and nothing else

    In my league = sex, mumble something about a relationship

    below my legaue = relationship for 5 days at most, no sex, no call back

    Gay men are pretty fucked. The ability to get on the internet, find a guy in 5-10 minutes, meet up and fuck is just too conveniant. Regardless of looks or intelligence or how they say they want to be in a relationship, it seems like gay men on average are stuck in a trap of easy sex. I always assumed there was something wrong with me, but it just seems like the gays around me are the ones with the inability to form a real relationship. The more I associate myself with that, the more likely I'll catch that disability.

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    Sep 01, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    There's some truth to what you're saying; I work hard to look good and expect my mate to do the same. However I also fall for guys who maybe aren't a "perfect physical specimen" if I'm really into their personality, sense of humor, etc.

    I do think plenty of people in relationships settle or base their relationships on factors that don't lead to sustainable relationships but it isn't necessarily just looks; I'm sure loneliness is also a huge factor for settling.

    In the gay world though looks are king and it is also true that if that's the only basis for you dating someone you will get bored, continue to jump from guy to guy and miss out on amazing men because a hotter guy came along.
  • AllAmericanJo...

    Posts: 4271

    Sep 01, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    kencarson saidFor the people who just think I'm a narcissist, maybe I should make a few things clear.

    I grew up a chubby, pimply, nerdy queer kid who was bullied not just for being gay, but my appearance. If you were to talk with most of my friends, they would tell you that I'm the first one to talk down my looks, or not even admit to having them.

    Eh. Many narcissists are also insecure. Not that you're a narcissist; just saying that having insecurities does not mean you are NOT a narcissist.

    I think so many guys who think they're hot are too picky and have standards that cause them to pass up with whom they would probably be very compatible if they bothered. My theory is a guy becomes hotter the better his personality and my experience proves it: my best connections were guys who were not my type on first sight. When you have so much in common with a dude that you're finishing each others' sentences, that scorching connection destroys hot looks and it's not even close.

    I couples where one is (considered) better looking, and hear whispers about how one half is settling. They don't get it: if the connection is there, it's NOT settling, it's a home run. Someone who doesn't understand that will be forever alone. If you're a 9 out of 10, okay well maybe 3 out of 10 is too distracting a hurdle, but 6/10 + a deep connection beats 10/10 with whom you share nothing. But if you only talk to CK models, you might miss out. Your soul mate might be beneath your league.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1858

    Sep 02, 2012 7:32 AM GMT
    Mmm I think it's like what the other answers said. Most good looking or "hot" guys look for guys who are in their "league" or above and half the time, the guys who meet their qualifications turn out to not be that compatible in the interests/personality stage. Or they really are just interested in a few nights of fun, then run off to the next guy that is "better" then the current guy.

    I'm not saying all of them are like this though. I agree with Bakerboy and xsocalboy8x.

    -Bakerboy: I think it is reasonable to want a guy who takes care of themselves if you are the type of guy who takes of himself. As long as you keep it fairly realistic, it shouldn't be too much of a problem right?
    -xsocalboy8x; I agree about the celeb thing. I don't follow celebrities too much but whenever I am at a store and glance at magazines, sometimes the big headlines read *insert celebrity* with *insert celebrity* have split up/divorced. And it's a good analogy to real life. While I think it is okay to look for someone who takes care of his/her appearance, I feel that if you are looking for someone perfect, you may be looking for a very long time. So I think it is more reasonable to lower your standard just a bit. But the decision is up to the individual.
    Also for the whole settling thing, I don't think that is always true. If a guy decided to go for someone "not in his league" and happens to meet a guy who he connected with, how is that settling? The two enjoy each others company and are happy so I don't get that whole analogy. Now if the couple hated and resented each other, that's a different story...

    But anyway, sorry for the long post. Just my 2 cents on the topic at hand.