A cousin calls me "an overly emotional gay man," one of my mom's friends said to me "most people don't feel about these things as deeply as you do," when I was having a really hard time dealing with a betrayal (still not over it--don't think I ever will), and online they probably just think I'm "butthurt" a lot. Fuck'm.
I'm not so bad that I don't take care of my own needs, being fairly self-sufficient, actually, but it does cause some conflict because I'm more tuned into helping others than even allowing them to lift a finger to help me; which means in the past I've always had at least some needy friends, and then, when I could have used some help, all hell broke loose: that's when you really learn who your friends are and who was just using you for 50 years, that bitch! lolol.
It used to piss my brother off when we were growing up. Something bad would happen. He'd get angry, I'd get depressed, then he'd get angry about me getting depressed. He neither understood nor tolerated it until he had a kid of his own who's just like me. So it wasn't until we were in our 40s/50s that my brother has been able to relate to me, being forced to face how I relate to the world because he loves his kid so much. The change in our relationship coinciding with the growth of his kid was so truly remarkable that even my mother commented on it in her last months of dying from Alzheimer's. Most of her brain had been destroyed yet even she could see the difference and struggled to form a sentence to ask me about it.
There's upside and downside to all the overthinking. Obviously the upside is hopefully not fucking up too badly in life as you explore all the ramifications of a decision before making a move, but the downside can be not taking chances that might bring some enjoyment & benefit. That was probably my attraction to my first best bud of 10 years, who was a total risk taker. It was exciting to be around him. I got to enjoy things with him that I'd never have done on my own. But then, he wound up dying in an accident because of his risk taking, so I guess there's a down side to that side too.