Thought Question: If you tested positive, what would you do?

  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Dec 18, 2012 7:44 PM GMT
    This is a tough question, but I would hope folks would give themselves a bit more credit about being able to adapt to difficult news and adjust to life...

    When I tested positive (my top ten list):

    1. I went out and bought an ice cream sundae.
    2. started therapy for about 3 years
    3. Established a good relationship with my doctor and got over any fear of hospitals
    4. Learned the HIV "language" and became informed about my disease
    5. began volunteering in the HIV community (2 years after being diagnosed)
    6. Gave up recreational drugs
    7. broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and layed off sex for another 3 years until I knew how to communicate my status.
    8. Forgave myself, forgave my ex
    9. Learned to talk openly and frankly about having a chronic health condition and living with HIV
    10. Started having sex again.
    11. Started dating again. (jOK, well top 11)

    With any change, I thought about HIV ALOT during the first three years. I hardly think about it at all these days, but there was a great deal of work that happened within the ten years I have been positive.

    It is one of those 'events' in our lives that I realized all of my parents' work, all of the life skills I was building were used to get through a tough issue...and it took time.

    - David icon_wink.gif



  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Dec 18, 2012 8:35 PM GMT
    My apologies for the double post...I really hate to do that, but I ran across this info this morning and thought it was perfect for this forum and in honor of an AIDS activist who passed today:

    Spencer Cox, a star figure in "How to Survive a Plague" and a hero to many, died this morning. He was just 44 years old. As an AIDS activist, he helped spearhead research on protease inhibitors and played a central role in bringing the drugs to market -- and saving 8 million lives. Over the years, he was a frequent and always brilliant source of mine, and a good friend.

    In an outtake from my last interview with him, he describes what lessons he took away from the plague:

    "What I learned from that is that miracles are possible. Miracles happen, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I wouldn't trade that information for anything. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what'd going to happen day to day. I don't know what's going to happen next year. I just now, you keep going. You keep evolving and you keep progressing, you keep hoping until you die. Which is going to happen someday. You live your life as meaningful as you can make it. You live it and don't be afraid of who is going to like you or are you being appropriate. You worry about being kind. You worry about being generous. And if it's not about that what the hell's it about?"

    - David France, 12/18/12



    - David icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 18, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    Supernova_ saidI'd off myself.icon_neutral.gif


    Even if you could have a full, meaningful life for, let's just say 28 more years?

    Old thread. Still relevant.

    I have been HIV+ for 28 years. Since age 19.
    I look back and think about the innumerable number of phenomenal experiences I would have missed out on if I had offed myself.
    HIV does not have to be a death sentence.
    Being HIV+ does not have to mean that you are destined to be lonely, or have to be celibate. I have ex's who are still living free from HIV.
    You've only got one life (as far as I know). Life is risky. Manage to your risk tolerance, but don't forget to "live".
    I do suggest prevention over treatment.

    Also, I'd be much more concerned about Hep C, and antibiotic resistant strains of gonorrhea and syphilis. There are fewer treatment options for these bugs than HIV.

    Play safe...or risk bad death.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 26, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    Good question... If I got it, I wouldn't know what to say to the family until I move out.

    And I would do everything to make my life even more healthier and better than it is now - if such a thing is possible! Also make yoga a strong foundation of my life.

    I also will look up everything I can know about it to have it eradicated or at least kept 'undetectabe' as quickly and effectively as possible, meds and alternative options included.

    Wait, I already am doing that, incase I do get it. >_> At the moment, I am still negative.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 26, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    I don't think it would be irrational to think about death.

    I mean, life is already hard as it is being gay and having HIV would almost be like putting a Berlin Wall infront of you and bunch of other guys who don't have HIV. Yes it's not a death sentence, but the side effects of the drugs people experience sometimes is really difficult/annoying to deal with. And the constant obsession with keeping your immune system safe would probably make me paranoid. I'd probably won't even go out to pick up milk in my shorts and t-shirt in the middle of Canadian winter.

    Although people with HIV have a prolonged life compared to the 80's, when you think about getting older and the crap you have to deal with like cancer, diabetes, heart problems, kidney problems, possible Alzheimer's/other dementia and more, HIV may compromise so many treatments you can receive for those problems and cause soo many more problems.

    So if I did find out I was HIV +, I think before I kill my self I would have a complete lifestyle change so that I can do everything fun such as travelling, clubbing everynight, working out everyday, trying different foods. Basically be Queen Latifah in the "Last Holiday" or Brian Kinney in QAF.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 26, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    man i would flip out 1st....but ill do the best i can so it dont get spread 2 no one else