Lack of racial diversity in my local gay community really bringing me down

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    Aug 28, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    TropicalMark said
    ParadiseLost said
    MadeinMich said
    ParadiseLost saidI don't think you will so long as you find others who can relate to you and be close to you. icon_smile.gif The question becomes: Are they what you into/looking for in a guy? Based on my experiences and stories that I've gathered from other Black Gay men sticking to their guns and dating within their population, they seem to run into the kind of problems they themselves are trying to avoid in their own lives. For you, I see the trouble of not being into AA who are "thugged out", "campy", or hide behind some sort of stereotype markup. Just my hypothesis of course. What is your experience?


    I don't want to generalize but I do run into a lot of homothugs that turns me off. so you have to sift through them. and after that i'm left with an even smaller dating pool. its not that i'm not into AA. its that i very rarely find the kinds i'm into around me. i understand i do have hang ups i need to get over and am working on.

    but my mind isn't limited to one group,thats a problem of mine maybe. i mean i have AA friends who are soley into AA and i think to myself "wow, that would be so much easier if i were like that cuz i would only be attracted to a group that are more naturally attracted to me". not sure if that makes sense.


    I think I can understand. icon_smile.gif I don't date within my people because most of them are assholes. The Persians and Arabs both have huge machismo egos (you want to talk about patriarchal...) and live in a world far too polarized for my taste. I don't know much about Turkish gay men because, well, I don't know of any! Same with Greek. The ancient Egyptians are long gone. The current people of Egyptian are Arabs mostly and, well, I don't know of any Egyptian gay men. I'm not interested in Eastern Indian gay men. Jewish gay men mostly fear me and think I'm a terrorist icon_lol.gif. +D

    Yeah, see? I don't date within my own pool either. icon_razz.gif
    You a terrorist? LMAO.. that's something the conservaposse would say!
    Come on down here and 'terrorize' me!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    Lol, okay! +D Shall I bring my Hand Grenades or do you prefer 'ra-ta-ta-ta's'? icon_smile.gif Also, where is "down here"? I mean... I thought Texas was as low as one could go (in so many ways -_-)?
    Bring it all!

    Flowida.. as far south as you can get there!
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Aug 28, 2012 4:06 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    TropicalMark said
    ParadiseLost said
    MadeinMich said
    ParadiseLost saidI don't think you will so long as you find others who can relate to you and be close to you. icon_smile.gif The question becomes: Are they what you into/looking for in a guy? Based on my experiences and stories that I've gathered from other Black Gay men sticking to their guns and dating within their population, they seem to run into the kind of problems they themselves are trying to avoid in their own lives. For you, I see the trouble of not being into AA who are "thugged out", "campy", or hide behind some sort of stereotype markup. Just my hypothesis of course. What is your experience?


    I don't want to generalize but I do run into a lot of homothugs that turns me off. so you have to sift through them. and after that i'm left with an even smaller dating pool. its not that i'm not into AA. its that i very rarely find the kinds i'm into around me. i understand i do have hang ups i need to get over and am working on.

    but my mind isn't limited to one group,thats a problem of mine maybe. i mean i have AA friends who are soley into AA and i think to myself "wow, that would be so much easier if i were like that cuz i would only be attracted to a group that are more naturally attracted to me". not sure if that makes sense.


    I think I can understand. icon_smile.gif I don't date within my people because most of them are assholes. The Persians and Arabs both have huge machismo egos (you want to talk about patriarchal...) and live in a world far too polarized for my taste. I don't know much about Turkish gay men because, well, I don't know of any! Same with Greek. The ancient Egyptians are long gone. The current people of Egyptian are Arabs mostly and, well, I don't know of any Egyptian gay men. I'm not interested in Eastern Indian gay men. Jewish gay men mostly fear me and think I'm a terrorist icon_lol.gif. +D

    Yeah, see? I don't date within my own pool either. icon_razz.gif
    You a terrorist? LMAO.. that's something the conservaposse would say!
    Come on down here and 'terrorize' me!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    Lol, okay! +D Shall I bring my Hand Grenades or do you prefer 'ra-ta-ta-ta's'? icon_smile.gif Also, where is "down here"? I mean... I thought Texas was as low as one could go (in so many ways -_-)?

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERESorry man but I love middle eastern men....lol. That hole possesive thing kind of turns me on in a weird way.....lol. Being beholdent to someone and having someone being beholdent exclusively to you I find to be rare in the gay community, thus very exotic and desirable. weird i know.


    Lol, well, feel free to date my people as you please. icon_smile.gif I'm an exclusive lover but no one will make me their bitch. icon_razz.gif

    Not unless it's some sort of kinky BDSM fantasy or something.. icon_redface.gif


    Haha...You freak
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    Aug 28, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    [quote]TropicalMark said,
    Bring it all!

    Flowida.. as far south as you can get there![/quote]

    Okay soooo... you're in the state that's shaped like a penor and I'm in a state that is shaped like huge ass prostate gland, I think.

    Does that mean we're going to have lots of fluids in our interactions? icon_confused.gif

    MadeinMich said
    ParadiseLost said
    TropicalMark said
    ParadiseLost said
    MadeinMich said
    ParadiseLost saidI don't think you will so long as you find others who can relate to you and be close to you. icon_smile.gif The question becomes: Are they what you into/looking for in a guy? Based on my experiences and stories that I've gathered from other Black Gay men sticking to their guns and dating within their population, they seem to run into the kind of problems they themselves are trying to avoid in their own lives. For you, I see the trouble of not being into AA who are "thugged out", "campy", or hide behind some sort of stereotype markup. Just my hypothesis of course. What is your experience?


    I don't want to generalize but I do run into a lot of homothugs that turns me off. so you have to sift through them. and after that i'm left with an even smaller dating pool. its not that i'm not into AA. its that i very rarely find the kinds i'm into around me. i understand i do have hang ups i need to get over and am working on.

    but my mind isn't limited to one group,thats a problem of mine maybe. i mean i have AA friends who are soley into AA and i think to myself "wow, that would be so much easier if i were like that cuz i would only be attracted to a group that are more naturally attracted to me". not sure if that makes sense.


    I think I can understand. icon_smile.gif I don't date within my people because most of them are assholes. The Persians and Arabs both have huge machismo egos (you want to talk about patriarchal...) and live in a world far too polarized for my taste. I don't know much about Turkish gay men because, well, I don't know of any! Same with Greek. The ancient Egyptians are long gone. The current people of Egyptian are Arabs mostly and, well, I don't know of any Egyptian gay men. I'm not interested in Eastern Indian gay men. Jewish gay men mostly fear me and think I'm a terrorist icon_lol.gif. +D

    Yeah, see? I don't date within my own pool either. icon_razz.gif
    You a terrorist? LMAO.. that's something the conservaposse would say!
    Come on down here and 'terrorize' me!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    Lol, okay! +D Shall I bring my Hand Grenades or do you prefer 'ra-ta-ta-ta's'? icon_smile.gif Also, where is "down here"? I mean... I thought Texas was as low as one could go (in so many ways -_-)?

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERESorry man but I love middle eastern men....lol. That hole possesive thing kind of turns me on in a weird way.....lol. Being beholdent to someone and having someone being beholdent exclusively to you I find to be rare in the gay community, thus very exotic and desirable. weird i know.


    Lol, well, feel free to date my people as you please. icon_smile.gif I'm an exclusive lover but no one will make me their bitch. icon_razz.gif

    Not unless it's some sort of kinky BDSM fantasy or something.. icon_redface.gif


    Haha...You freak


    Hey, I resent that! I'm not a freak! >:/

    I'm a Super Freak. icon_cool.gif

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT65GFEMQ2s
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Aug 28, 2012 4:20 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    TropicalMark said
    ParadiseLost said
    MadeinMich said
    ParadiseLost saidI don't think you will so long as you find others who can relate to you and be close to you. icon_smile.gif The question becomes: Are they what you into/looking for in a guy? Based on my experiences and stories that I've gathered from other Black Gay men sticking to their guns and dating within their population, they seem to run into the kind of problems they themselves are trying to avoid in their own lives. For you, I see the trouble of not being into AA who are "thugged out", "campy", or hide behind some sort of stereotype markup. Just my hypothesis of course. What is your experience?


    I don't want to generalize but I do run into a lot of homothugs that turns me off. so you have to sift through them. and after that i'm left with an even smaller dating pool. its not that i'm not into AA. its that i very rarely find the kinds i'm into around me. i understand i do have hang ups i need to get over and am working on.

    but my mind isn't limited to one group,thats a problem of mine maybe. i mean i have AA friends who are soley into AA and i think to myself "wow, that would be so much easier if i were like that cuz i would only be attracted to a group that are more naturally attracted to me". not sure if that makes sense.


    I think I can understand. icon_smile.gif I don't date within my people because most of them are assholes. The Persians and Arabs both have huge machismo egos (you want to talk about patriarchal...) and live in a world far too polarized for my taste. I don't know much about Turkish gay men because, well, I don't know of any! Same with Greek. The ancient Egyptians are long gone. The current people of Egyptian are Arabs mostly and, well, I don't know of any Egyptian gay men. I'm not interested in Eastern Indian gay men. Jewish gay men mostly fear me and think I'm a terrorist icon_lol.gif. +D

    Yeah, see? I don't date within my own pool either. icon_razz.gif
    You a terrorist? LMAO.. that's something the conservaposse would say!
    Come on down here and 'terrorize' me!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    Lol, okay! +D Shall I bring my Hand Grenades or do you prefer 'ra-ta-ta-ta's'? icon_smile.gif Also, where is "down here"? I mean... I thought Texas was as low as one could go (in so many ways -_-)?

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERESorry man but I love middle eastern men....lol. That hole possesive thing kind of turns me on in a weird way.....lol. Being beholdent to someone and having someone being beholdent exclusively to you I find to be rare in the gay community, thus very exotic and desirable. weird i know.


    Lol, well, feel free to date my people as you please. icon_smile.gif I'm an exclusive lover but no one will make me their bitch. icon_razz.gif

    Not unless it's some sort of kinky BDSM fantasy or something.. icon_redface.gif


    Lol, You freak.


    But no i love their features. the hairy chest and arms.bushy defined eyebows, bronze skin. And i happen to live near the city with the greatest population of middle easteners in the U.S. supposedly.


  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Aug 28, 2012 4:29 AM GMT
    Showing some Middle Eastern love:




    Just Sexy

    350x.jpg


  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Aug 28, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    dragooney said
    MadeinMich saidSo I'm back in Michigan, which has a very divisive racial history and am down about the prospect to meet guys of every race in this area. In terms of dating I consider myself like a united nations with no main prejudices in my attraction to guys. But since I've been back here from Toronto the racial disparity amoung gay guys here has been amplified in my consciousness. I have been called a nigger (unprovoked, honestly) online and when my white friends asks other guys (who ARE in my league with no dilusional expectation of mine, hefty, balding)why the lack of interest they say "I'm not into black guys".

    Cut to a month ago when I was in Toronto men from all different cultures were into me and I was into them. Muscular, handsome, guys from different races who would have shunned me here at home were suprisingly interested and they were suprised at my situation back home. Due to the lack of employment prospects in my field it is very difficult to move to a more culturall diverse town and its killing me.

    Don't get me wrong I am attracted to AA men as well but I'm not exclusive to one race. But here it seems like black fro black and white for white. A saturday night at a gay bar or club looks like a high school cafeteria where all the races have segregated themselves. This is especially sad to me because the out gay population is relatively small.

    Does anyone notice the same thing where they live? How does it make you feel? Not looking for a pity party just some discourse on the subject.





    Wow, I could not agree you you more! I moved to Michigan four years ago, and the non black guys here won't even LOOK at a black guy. Its TERRIBLE! Its also kinda hard to find a decent black friends. Ive NEVER been into the thug type. Dont get me wrong, I love my brothers, but realistically Detroit guys are a trip.icon_neutral.gif Unbelievable! SO, perhaps I'll just move back home next month. Its getting boring here. Maybe you should try Windsor(Canada). They are much more open, and friendlier.


    Yeah man..I had an AA friend go on a date a few weeks ago and a guy asked him "does his relationships ever get physical?" and my friend is like "what", and he's like, " yeah, sometimes dudes be poppin off at the mouth and you gotta hit em" Needless to say that was their final datE. But yes, shit like that happens in the D.
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    Aug 28, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    MadeinMich Wrote:

    Yeah man..I had an AA friend go on a date a few weeks ago and a guy asked him "does his relationships ever get physical?" and my friend is like "what", and he's like, " yeah, sometimes dudes be poppin off at the mouth and you gotta hit em" Needless to say that was their final datE. But yes, shit like that happens in the D.[/quote]



    Dragooney:
    LMAF! Wow ..... I rather be single to go through that. No need for drama. I had a hard laugh out of that one buddy. But in the end, If I heard a phrase like that come from a lunatic, I would RUN!!!! That guy must've been crazy, and needs some help seriously. LOL. What a mess.

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    Aug 28, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    I get tired of these threads too..which i am begining to see what some white men could possibly and quite easily spin this thread out to say. Eventhough its not intentioned the thread content reads: Why wont white guys fuck me? Im tired of dating and fucking plain old black guys. PLEASE... lets get some white guys in here who will say they will fuck black guys for like 50 millionth time.

    Thats how these threads read.
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    Aug 28, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    Groups segregate themselves, even the gay community. If you perceive a lack of racial diversity, be the vanguard.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:16 PM GMT
    MadeinMich saidSo I'm back in Michigan, which has a very divisive racial history and am down about the prospect to meet guys of every race in this area. In terms of dating I consider myself like a united nations with no main prejudices in my attraction to guys. But since I've been back here from Toronto the racial disparity amoung gay guys here has been amplified in my consciousness. I have been called a nigger (unprovoked, honestly) online and when my white friends asks other guys (who ARE in my league with no dilusional expectation of mine, hefty, balding)why the lack of interest they say "I'm not into black guys".

    Cut to a month ago when I was in Toronto men from all different cultures were into me and I was into them. Muscular, handsome, guys from different races who would have shunned me here at home were suprisingly interested and they were suprised at my situation back home. Due to the lack of employment prospects in my field it is very difficult to move to a more culturall diverse town and its killing me.

    Don't get me wrong I am attracted to AA men as well but I'm not exclusive to one race. But here it seems like black fro black and white for white. A saturday night at a gay bar or club looks like a high school cafeteria where all the races have segregated themselves. This is especially sad to me because the out gay population is relatively small.

    Does anyone notice the same thing where they live? How does it make you feel? Not looking for a pity party just some discourse on the subject.


    Gay racial segregation happens too all across Australia, in cities like Sydney and Melbourne of 4 million people each. I'm Asian and it doesn't matter how good-looking, how buff, how well-educated or how articulate I am. I only ever get approached by other marginalised sub-communities like the twinks and out-of-shape older males who lust after young Asian flesh because they think we're all easy.

    And why should any of us have to date exclusively within our "racial" group? Being ethnic minorities in predominantly white countries, that would mean our dating pool is 20% or less of that of gay white men. Marginalisation of a minority within a marginalised minority that is gay people is highly hypocritical.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    EdmirerGay racial segregation happens too all across Australia, in cities like Sydney and Melbourne of 4 million people each. I'm Asian and it doesn't matter how good-looking, how buff, how well-educated or how articulate I am. I only ever get approached by other marginalised sub-communities like the twinks and out-of-shape older males who lust after young Asian flesh because they think we're all easy


    It's so interesting that you say that because I've always thought that it'd be like that in Sydney. Not that I've ever been to a gay club or bar to experience this for myself but I kind of had a hunch that this is what the experience would turn out to be.
    Thanks for saving me the trouble of discovering this myself the hard way, really appreciate it seriously.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    I grew up in the Metro Detroit area of Michigan and I totally agree. It is pretty racially segregated. Just attend the high school basketball playoffs and you'll see it. White school from the suburbs against black school from the city. I used to be the same as what you are complaining about, only into white guys. Then I moved to nyc a few years ago and discovered latinos which was amazing, like up until that point nobody had told me about the greatest flavor of ice cream ever invented. So anyways latinos were like my gateway gays, after that I became way more diverse and I'm open to all races of guys.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    i think you can apply your disillusionment and frustration to any Asian guy in any city... including Toronto.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    kingmo saidi think you can apply your disillusionment and frustration to any Asian guy in any city... including Toronto.


    It's somehow cathartic to know that as an Asian gay male, I'm not welcome anywhere that I am not of the ethnic majority.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    I think if you're honest, you'll see that you have somewhat of a preference for guys not of your race, which is totally fine. I am speculating based off of your hotlist and some of the language in your post. I think it's important to identify who you're attracted to so that you know what your odds are and can find areas that favor your odds. For your preferences and interests, you'll do better off on the East Coast (DC, FL, NY, etc) areas that have a ton of diversity and higher populations of gay guys. It's a numbers game. That's how I see it.

    I will say that Michigan has some of the hottest guys on RJ.
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    TropicalMark saidMichigan is a heavy GOP state.icon_wink.gif

    Well, ain't I lucky to have not been raised there! icon_confused.gif
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    i like me some brown sugar
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    Aug 28, 2012 2:59 PM GMT
    MadeinMich saidCut to a month ago when I was in Toronto men from all different cultures were into me and I was into them. Muscular, handsome, guys from different races who would have shunned me here at home were suprisingly interested and they were suprised at my situation back home. .


    As am I dah-ling, as am I.
    tumblr_m6lh910s8r1rplrfxo1_250.jpg
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    Aug 28, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    MadeinMich saidI had an AA friend go on a date a few weeks ago and a guy asked him "does his relationships ever get physical?" and my friend is like "what", and he's like, " yeah, sometimes dudes be poppin off at the mouth and you gotta hit em" .
    icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 28, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    Hmm.. I don't have this problem...

    Just thought I'd share.



    lawl
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    Aug 28, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    American gays have smaller brains.

    Go for Europeans

    South Americans

    Japanese

    Vietnamese

    Also closeted guys are LOT more open about dating interracially.
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    Aug 28, 2012 4:46 PM GMT
    Mich is like a white washed state, right? So it's probably not good to stay there for a long time. Move to a place with more cultural diversity your sanity will thank you.
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    Aug 28, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    if they dont like you... move on... why waste time on someone who doesnt like you... sure it is harder someplace... but it cant be zero...
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    Aug 28, 2012 6:59 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidThat's like code rule 2b.69 of the gay agenda ... recruit straight guys ... it's your duty as a gay man icon_lol.gif



    .... done icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 28, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    I find it hard to believe the OP doesn't have sexual preferences in regards to race. Especially since all of his mutual buddies are White and 99% of his hotlist is also White. Appearing politically correct on RealJock gets you a lot of applause and I have a feeling this is the motive behind this thread.