To jerk or not to jerk...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    I have always said some people just don't have the tools for a relationship. Some guys really do think they are boyfriend material when in fact they don't have the tools but are a "TOOL" and a douche bag.

    Think about how this will effect your relationship. It's not just about you anymore. You're a couple and entering this relationship brings responsibility.

    If you can't wait 30 minutes just to "get off" you're not looking for love!
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    Sep 11, 2012 1:35 PM GMT
    if you were my boyfriend i would not like it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    Kalifornication saidI have always said some people just don't have the tools for a relationship. Some guys really do think they are boyfriend material when in fact they don't have the tools but are a "TOOL" and a douche bag.

    Think about how this will effect your relationship. It's not just about you anymore. You're a couple and entering this relationship brings responsibility.

    If you can't wait 30 minutes just to "get off" you're not looking for love!


    Oh and your friend is a total Dick too!
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    Sep 11, 2012 1:53 PM GMT
    Are you serious?!?! You're preparing to lie and jerk off with someone, other than your boyfriend who you claim to love so much! You know it's cheating and seeking validation or approval in this forum is laughable. Do what you want but accept the consequences if you get caught!

    You see your boyfriend 2-3x a week and you can't Skype with him on the other days? Sounds like you know you want to jerk off with others and the next step will be sucking dick and having sex. Then we'll all read your next forum topic "I cheated on my boyfriend...now what?"

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    Sep 11, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    double-facepalm1.jpg
  • Borski1992

    Posts: 163

    Sep 11, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    uoft23 saidHow does this fall in the grey area of cheating? You intend to lie to your boyfriend while you jerk off another guy. It is cheating. It's lying. You're old enough to know better.

    edit: And your profile says single and looking for hook ups. Break up with your boyfriend. He deserves not to have his time wasted by dishonest cheaters.


    And now it is changed to dating but looking for dates. Kind of makes you look just as bad dude. I agree with uoft23
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1558

    Sep 11, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    Didn't let those that judge get to you. It is up to you and your bf how to handle it. It often seems that those that talk of cheating etc, are often of the clingy, dependent, insecure type, who have difficulty finding and keeping relationships. Sounds like you are a thoughtful open individual who is trying to resolve some self conflicts and those that come with a solid relationship.
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    Thanks to the guys that have been calm, objective, and not condescending with their responses. I appreciate that most of you offered an opinion without judging me too much (at least in the post) and tearing me to shreds. This is my first relationship ever. Not just with a dude...ever, so I'm not exactly sure about some of the fine details. We just made things official in August. This other guy has been one of my close friends for a while, and we've jerked off together a bunch of times before, just as bros...nothing more than that. I didn't know if just watching porn with an old buddy and stroking your own dick was out of line. However I figured that since it isn't something I'd really want to tell my boyfriend about, it probably isn't something I should be doing. Just wanted to see if what the consensus was.

    uoft23 - When I made this profile, I was still single. Sorry I'm not sorry that after we made things official, the first thought to cross my mind wasn't "Oh fuck! I need to go change my relationship status on my online profile that I hardly ever use!!!" And I never said I was gonna be jerking him off. Take a fucking pill...

    Anocxu - Considering I have a BA, a BS, and am on my was to a doctorate, I'm
    fairly certain I'm actually pretty damn good at thinking. You can take that "due respect" and apology for a harsh post and shove it up your tight ass.

    Neither of you know anything about me aside from this question that I asked and never acted upon. Glad you think you have a strong basis for which to judge my character so harshly. Please hop off my nuts and kindly go fuck yourselves...and then don't post on here again...
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    CuriousOne saidAre you serious?!?! You're preparing to lie and jerk off with someone, other than your boyfriend who you claim to love so much! You know it's cheating and seeking validation or approval in this forum is laughable. Do what you want but accept the consequences if you get caught!

    You see your boyfriend 2-3x a week and you can't Skype with him on the other days? Sounds like you know you want to jerk off with others and the next step will be sucking dick and having sex. Then we'll all read your next forum topic "I cheated on my boyfriend...now what?"



    Who said I was making any preparations for anything? I told the guy I have no intentions of anything and that I needed to think about stuff. My boyfriend has a really crazy work schedule, so it makes seeing each other and even skyping really difficult. Pretty sure you don't have to worry about that topic...
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    Borski1992 said
    uoft23 saidHow does this fall in the grey area of cheating? You intend to lie to your boyfriend while you jerk off another guy. It is cheating. It's lying. You're old enough to know better.

    edit: And your profile says single and looking for hook ups. Break up with your boyfriend. He deserves not to have his time wasted by dishonest cheaters.


    And now it is changed to dating but looking for dates. Kind of makes you look just as bad dude. I agree with uoft23


    Once again...my most insincere apologies...The dating box didn't uncheck when I went to change my profile. I'd appreciate it if you'd also hop off and go fuck yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    DONT-MAKE-ME-SLAP-YOU-BITCH_c_77969.jpg


    Seriously? If you had any love and respect for your boyfriend you wouldn't even be entertaining this idea.


    wtf. icon_evil.gif




    TerraFirma saiddouble-facepalm1.jpg


    ^ Also this.
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    Koaa2 saidDidn't let those that judge get to you. It is up to you and your bf how to handle it. It often seems that those that talk of cheating etc, are often of the clingy, dependent, insecure type, who have difficulty finding and keeping relationships. Sounds like you are a thoughtful open individual who is trying to resolve some self conflicts and those that come with a solid relationship.


    Lol, you are too fucking idiotic for words.

    And the people that cheat are often insecure, dishonest, untrustworthy, and don't have the mental capacity to say no to every cock that comes their way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    Koaa2 saidCheating is such a loaded, ambiguous over used term in our society. How did cumming with another person become such a big deal, religion of course, which fucks with so many people.

    You and your BF will need to discuss this and set some ground rules for yourselves, no one but the 2 of you should decide what is the best for your relationship. If you both decide you want to jack or whatever, with others, it should be perfectly fine for the 2 of you.

    Enjoy


    icon_eek.gif

    jawdrop.jpg

    Let's just leave our ethics and morals at the door, shall we?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    Your friend does not respect your relationship.
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    Sep 11, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    Anocxu - Considering I have a BA, a BS, and am on my was to a doctorate, I'm
    fairly certain I'm actually pretty damn good at thinking. You can take that "due respect" and apology for a harsh post and shove it up your tight ass.

    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    Sucess !!... Made you think the way you should..!!
    This is tough love...!! Sorry dude!...
    PS... guys love my tight ass... icon_razz.gif
    Hugs

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    The OP said, "However I figured that since it isn't something I'd really want to tell my boyfriend about, it probably isn't something I should be doing. Just wanted to see if what the consensus was."

    Your figuring all adds up to me. If you did it on the sly it's cheating, if you agree with your partner that it's OK to do, it isn't cheating. It's that simple.

    In asking for a consensus I would think it expected you'd get some responses from those that have been cheated on, or those that know how hurt they'd be to be sneaked around on, that are rather heated. icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 3:08 PM GMT
    That is Clinton-esque philosophy-

    ...FLAWED-2-THE-MAX

    Additionally, you've completely missed the obvious; in this thread, you are asking this question of everyone but, the one, correct person.


    CONCLUSION: If you wish to speedily breakup w/ your BF, just continue being typical !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 3:18 PM GMT
    OP, it is a grey area, but it is dark grey. When you do a sexual act with a friend in the same room, and you like each other, even if you do not touch, there really is a threat to whatever relationship you are in. You probably do not want to go there. Camming with anonymous headless strangers who live thousands of miles away is grey too, but it is light grey. There is almost no chance at all that an encounter like that will change anything with your BF. But what I don't understand is this. You live only 30 minutes away. That is less time than it takes most people to get to work. If you're horny you could be at your BF's in less time than it takes to find a cam-room jerk off partner. So if you do have this fresh healthy relationship, none of these other options really makes sense. Since your relationship is still young, there is no time like the present for you and your BF to discuss the grey areas of fidelity and to make a commitment about what is allowed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    Nivek saidOP, it is a grey area, but it is dark grey. When you do a sexual act with a friend in the same room, and you like each other, there really is a threat to whatever relationship you are in. You probably do not want to go there. Camming with anonymous headless strangers who live thousands of miles away is grey, but it is light grey. There is almost no chance at all that an encounter like that will change anything with your BF. But what I don't understand is this. You live only 30 minutes away. That is less time than it takes most people to get to work. If you're horny you could be at your BF's in less time than it takes to find a cam-room jerk off partner. So if you do have this fresh healthy relationship, none of these other options really makes sense.


    More good advice.
  • kietkat

    Posts: 353

    Sep 11, 2012 3:28 PM GMT
    "I don't think that it would hurt anyone since no one would really ever find out...."

    Really dude?....really....?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 3:35 PM GMT
    C'mon, man, you knew this wasn't okay when you asked the question. If you had to think it over so hard and try to rationalize it, it's probably not something you should be doing.
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    Sep 11, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    jmr2298 saidThanks to the guys that have been calm, objective, and not condescending with their responses. I appreciate that most of you offered an opinion without judging me too much (at least in the post) and tearing me to shreds. This is my first relationship ever. Not just with a dude...ever, so I'm not exactly sure about some of the fine details. We just made things official in August. This other guy has been one of my close friends for a while, and we've jerked off together a bunch of times before, just as bros...nothing more than that. I didn't know if just watching porn with an old buddy and stroking your own dick was out of line. However I figured that since it isn't something I'd really want to tell my boyfriend about, it probably isn't something I should be doing. Just wanted to see if what the consensus was.

    uoft23 - When I made this profile, I was still single. Sorry I'm not sorry that after we made things official, the first thought to cross my mind wasn't "Oh fuck! I need to go change my relationship status on my online profile that I hardly ever use!!!" And I never said I was gonna be jerking him off. Take a fucking pill...

    Anocxu - Considering I have a BA, a BS, and am on my was to a doctorate, I'm
    fairly certain I'm actually pretty damn good at thinking. You can take that "due respect" and apology for a harsh post and shove it up your tight ass.

    Neither of you know anything about me aside from this question that I asked and never acted upon. Glad you think you have a strong basis for which to judge my character so harshly. Please hop off my nuts and kindly go fuck yourselves...and then don't post on here again...



    Dude... You posted a topic, did you not expect people to judge you just of the basis of the topic? You're absolutely correct that it's not fair, but don't be posting then. How else are they suppose to know you?



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
    Koaa2 saidDidn't let those that judge get to you. It is up to you and your bf how to handle it. It often seems that those that talk of cheating etc, are often of the clingy, dependent, insecure type, who have difficulty finding and keeping relationships. Sounds like you are a thoughtful open individual who is trying to resolve some self conflicts and those that come with a solid relationship.


    Actually the louche individuals are the ones who have difficulty having a healthy relationship.
  • askme4

    Posts: 6

    Sep 11, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    Open up with your BF and tell him how do you feel. Talk with him, no that much with a bunch of strangers, but with him, because his opinion is the one that really matters to you .

    Keep it real, good luck!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    Kalifornication said
    Koaa2 saidDidn't let those that judge get to you. It is up to you and your bf how to handle it. It often seems that those that talk of cheating etc, are often of the clingy, dependent, insecure type, who have difficulty finding and keeping relationships. Sounds like you are a thoughtful open individual who is trying to resolve some self conflicts and those that come with a solid relationship.

    Actually the louche individuals are the ones who have difficulty having a healthy relationship.
    Yes, perhaps they are however, the OP has reached out for some comments before becoming that shady person.
    I think Koaa2's comments are spot on that he and his bf need to discuss this first and decide some boundaries and guidelines or whether this will work for them. If either doesn't like the idea, then it doesn't happen. The fact that the OP is reaching out to this group for ideas and thoughts tells me that he's willing to listen.
    I think some of the constructive comments have been worthwhile for him (IE: not hiding it from his bf). Perhaps helping the OP to understand the 'tools' he has and how to use them would be more effective than judgmentally referring to him as a "TOOL" and a douche bag.