To jerk or not to jerk...

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    Sep 12, 2012 11:11 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidEvery man is a universe unto himself, and is meant to be a king in his own realm. Each man's realm is different. The "narrow gate" or rite of passage that gains him ownership of his realm is gaining ownership of his sexuality.

    Most men never accomplish this. They believe themselves to be powerless over sexual urges...

    It is ironic that sexual laxity results in limitations of growth, relationships, and life options, while sexual integrity results in expanstion of the same areas.

    Perhaps monogamy seems difficult, from one perspective. However, it is similar to any important habit...when cultivated, it brings manifold benefits.

    OK, this is the biggest crock of crap I have ever read! The narrow gate? WTF? Just because someone enjoys sexual pleasure does not mean they have no self control. Oh sure, it's much better to be celibate to ensure complete ownership of your selfhood? Plenty of monogamous men are very unhappy because there's no sex left in their relationships and couples have drifted apart. You're attempt of an eloquent literary expose is a failure.

    Perhaps you can give us some references to this statement "It is ironic that sexual laxity results in limitations of growth, relationships, and life options, while sexual integrity results in expanstion of the same areas." Tell me where you've found sexual laxity limiting growth, relationships and life options (which are?). Many open relationship are very strong, growing and providing more options and opportunities to enjoy other men in friendships and relationships.

    This reeks of someone who has placed them self very high on a pedestal. What a crock of unsubstantiated opinion.
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    Sep 12, 2012 11:35 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidMy post is quite factual. Whether you like it or not is not my problem. You have inferred that I am morally superior, I did not imply it.

    HottJoe said
    Borrowed from at least this source
    http://lovesmarts.org/stories/monogamy_ls.htm

    Oh, wow, so it was written by a women named Kate. I'm sorry, what part of Kate's 'lovesmart stories' were factual and share those facts with us please. I'm dying to hear them.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 12, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    k3l3k0 saidEvery man is a universe unto himself, and is meant to be a king in his own realm. Each man's realm is different. The "narrow gate" or rite of passage that gains him ownership of his realm is gaining ownership of his sexuality.

    Most men never accomplish this. They believe themselves to be powerless over sexual urges...

    It is ironic that sexual laxity results in limitations of growth, relationships, and life options, while sexual integrity results in expanstion of the same areas.

    Perhaps monogamy seems difficult, from one perspective. However, it is similar to any important habit...when cultivated, it brings manifold benefits.

    OK, this is the biggest crock of crap I have ever read! The narrow gate? WTF? Just because someone enjoys sexual pleasure does not mean they have no self control. Oh sure, it's much better to be celibate to ensure complete ownership of your selfhood? Plenty of monogamous men are very unhappy because there's no sex left in their relationships and couples have drifted apart. You're attempt of an eloquent literary expose is a failure.

    Perhaps you can give us some references to this statement "It is ironic that sexual laxity results in limitations of growth, relationships, and life options, while sexual integrity results in expanstion of the same areas." Tell me where you've found sexual laxity limiting growth, relationships and life options (which are?). Many open relationship are very strong, growing and providing more options and opportunities to enjoy other men in friendships and relationships.

    This reeks of someone who has placed them self very high on a pedestal. What a crock of unsubstantiated opinion.


    It was actually written by a woman on another website. K313k0 apparently tried to pass it off as his own.
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    Sep 13, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    It always comes down to have or have not.

    Monogamy, religion, money. Those who have it always feel that those who do not are missing out. Whether or not this is true is indeterminable, but it's about personal respect. Die hard christians believe all need to be saved so we can enjoy their rapturous relationship with God. But who among us has not wanted to scream at a born again to let us live our lives as we please in peace? The same is true for monogamy. If you ask me my personal feeling about it, or it comes up in conversation, I'll gladly tell you. But I dont feel the need to cram my opinion down the throats of others.

    Having said that, if someone does throw out an opinion that is very different from how you live your life and you feel threatened by their assertion, the obvious question is why? I can readily release a rapid stream of positive statements about homosexuality, monogamy, judaism, libertarianism, and sobriety. There is no need to insult a counter point of view when I can simply speak well of my own. Please remember that passive aggressive insults are still insults. Telling someone that believeing in monogamy is a fairy tale is just as insulting as telling someone in a nonmonogamous relationship that they've never experienced true intimacy.

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    Oct 10, 2012 2:16 AM GMT
    daywalker33 said
    uoft23 said
    k3l3k0 said


    Well aren't you just full of excuses? Read this below - it's gonna tell you what you (and other pro-open relationship types) don't want to hear.

    Every man is a universe unto himself, and is meant to be a king in his own realm. Each man's realm is different. The "narrow gate" or rite of passage that gains him ownership of his realm is gaining ownership of his sexuality.

    Most men never accomplish this. They believe themselves to be powerless over sexual urges, and they believe themselves to be the reactors to the stimulus of sexual opportunity. If someone is open and willing to have sex with them, they feel unable to resist. Also, they perceive orgasm, or the pleasurable sensation, as the primary sexual experience, so anything or any person who will provide that seems equal in value.

    The result of this assumption is that the man will never own his own selfhood. He will be sabotaged in his dearest goals, because he will feel powerless to resist any sexual opportunity, and thus is continually vulnerable. Thus, even very rich and powerful men lose everything because they are vulnerable to any sexual advance.

    The choice of holding one's sexual expression for a single lifetime partner is the ultimate path to full freedom, and to full sexual power. A man who is not temptable is not able to be manipulated. He is in charge, and his sexuality becomes his strength, not his weakness. Ironically, the man who holds himself apart is the one who all will respect: men and women.

    Rather than being frustrated sexually as a result of monogamy, such men are fulfilled sexually, having more frequent and more satisfying sexual lives, and at the same time receiving immense support in their financial, personal, professional and emotional lives. This is the result of studies, not just conjecture. As a result, they live longer, feel happier, have better health, reap financial stability, and enjoy the trust of others.

    It is ironic that sexual laxity results in limitations of growth, relationships, and life options, while sexual integrity results in expanstion of the same areas.

    Perhaps monogamy seems difficult, from one perspective. However, it is similar to any important habit...when cultivated, it brings manifold benefits.


    Did you write that or is it borrowed from somewhere? Enjoyed it though either way! Thanks


    Borrowed from at least this source icon_smile.gif


    http://lovesmarts.org/stories/monogamy_ls.htm


    I just stumbled on this thread, and I have to say I am a bit surprised no one else pointed out that the passage quoted above could be preached from practically any Christian pulpit on Sunday morning whether in a congregation of liberal Methodists or conservative Pentecostals. The reason is because it is almost a direct paraphrase of the fundamental principle in many of the Apostle Paul's writings throughout the New Testament (for example in Romans 6) describing the irony of how indulging the desires of the flesh only seems like freedom because you are not denying yourself anything, but in reality you are being led into spiritual bondage/death by your enslavement to sin; whereas being slaves to righteousness only appears to be drudging slavery because you are denying yourself, but in reality you are being liberated from the pleasure-slavery of the hedonist into a higher life in Christ which is the only true freedom.

    The only real difference between the passage above and standard Evangelical theology is the modern self-help-friendly language and the focus specifically on male sexuality.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11643

    Oct 10, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    Think all of this talk over and then dfinitely talk to the boyfriend. If he says no, accept it and drop it.

    Now if you were talking about jerk as in Jamaican BBQ, I could not be more enthusiastically in favor. That stuff's some kinda gooooooood!
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    Oct 10, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    I love how people are giving "thoughtful" responses to such a retarded question
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    Oct 10, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    Fucking no.

    Cheating is cheating no matter what the context is.

    You really wanna break up your relationship because you couldn't keep it in your pants for an extra day? You see him 2-3 times a week, control your god damn self and release the beast with your boyfriend instead of this boy toy.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 10, 2012 6:50 AM GMT
    I mean here's the thing-you are "only" jerking with this friend, or so you say. Taking this at face value, you gotta ask, aside from being right or wrong (because this concept varies from person to person) is it worth even the risk of causing a rift/breakup between you and your boyfriend? 2-3x a week is pretty often considering that you do not live together, and are most likely both adults in the real world.

    If it were me, I would not even bother asking my bf for permission, it just opens up way too many questions and boundary issues-I would just stop. I also, would not bother telling him about the past-again if it could possibly break you up, keep it to yourself and sorta punish yourself over it, become better because of it, and learn to be a better partner.