The sadness in gay men's eyes

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    Sep 14, 2012 11:04 AM GMT


    I feel sad all the time I look into a mirror and see that I'm still a GUY.

    I wanna be a girl. !!!

    tumblr_lp15erHnKb1qg067po1_500.gif


    ╰☆╮PRINCESS SERENITY╭☽╯


    THE WHITE PRINCESS


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    Sep 14, 2012 11:11 AM GMT
    Mmmmmm, maybe you're more sensitive to how ppl, in general feel. When I would teach my art class, I could literally sense when my students were upset with something or sad. Usually, I was right, but sometimes it was just a case of the Mondays.

    Or it could be trauma.
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:18 AM GMT
    sailor_moon said


    I feel sad all the time I look into a mirror and see that I'm still a GUY.

    I wanna be a girl. !!!

    tumblr_lp15erHnKb1qg067po1_500.gif


    ╰☆╮PRINCESS SERENITY╭☽╯


    THE WHITE PRINCESS


    tumblr_lp1duwldHE1qg067po1_500.gif



    Then be a Sailor Star. They get the best of both worlds. ;)

    1051562_o.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    Are you sure you are looking into others' eyes and not just looking at a mirror?


    Your question is based on what YOU interpret in somone's "eyes" Mine are hazel. Not text. Do I squint because I am suspicious or nervous? Whichever one you chose - wrong - I squint because the light is too bright.

    But it may not be for you, because my anti seizure medication makes me photosensitive.

    Perhaps the observer is observing himself.

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    Sep 14, 2012 11:27 AM GMT
    OP, i have noticed that exact same thing. It is a sadness, and emptiness and it is heartbreaking. Sometimes I feel so bonecrushingly lonely that it is as if I am being punished for something, but I dont know what I did wrong. Normally, I am a happy confident guy. But when I look at some of the men around me, they do seem to be sad. And not just gay men, but an awful lot of them do appear sad.

    I see in the eyes of so many gay men that they feel disconnected from others. Many live productive lives, but I see it a lot. They feel alone.

    and yourname, either your own insecurities are coming out or I was completely wrong about you and you are a raging asshole. There are a million ways you could have made your point with kindness, but you decided to use your fake bravado to belittle and harass.... frankly, it seems this touched a nerve with you. You have the right to your opinion, but you owe the OP an apology for your tone.

    why didnt you disagree with kindness and why didn't you try to empower instead of insult? sounds like you have angst.
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:38 AM GMT
    It's probably just the face of addiction. There's nothing too unique about homosexuals.


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    Sep 14, 2012 11:43 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidIt's probably just the face of addiction. There's nothing too unique about homosexuals.




    Your face is addicting... icon_biggrin.gif *Drools*
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:52 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidIt's probably just the face of addiction. There's nothing too unique about homosexuals.





    I hadn't made that leap, but it is a provocative thought. the statistics make that a very real possibility. That is sadder than just loneliness.

    icon_sad.gif




    Thanks for this thread. It has kept intruding into my thoughts randomly (the sign of a good topic, I think)
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    Sep 14, 2012 12:16 PM GMT
    ****warning******long, rambling post ahead********

    Growing up in the Midwest, I learned the habit of looking people in the eye and saying "Hello" if I passed them on the street. I can't seem to get rid of that habit, and I constantly look people in the eye as I'm walking around New York. I see a lot of people who look sad, empty, stressed out, or pissed off. I also encounter people who will smile at me and nod.

    I spend a lot of time at the dog park, and sometimes the people there drive me crazy. It's like a small town. Many of them seem to be unhappy and take out there misery on others. I see people getting into arguments or talking about others behind their backs. When that happens, I walk away and start playing with me dog. Playing fetch with her makes me feel so happy and peaceful, and erases all of the negativity I encounter at the park.

    The other day, I was walking around the city and I did have a very sad look in my eyes. I've been having a rough time at work, was exhausted, plus I there was a misunderstanding between my partner and me. I was staring blankly and then saw someone waving, trying to get my attention. It was a young woman I know from the dog whom I hadn't seen in a while. I reached out and gave her a hug and instantly felt better.

    It seems to me that many people are overworked, or underemployed, or scared of losing their jobs, or have lost their jobs. Most of my co-workers are miserable. I see a lot of really stressed out people taking it out on others. I've found I get along much better with them when I try to understand what's going on and just listen to them. I've also talked to some who've complained about me to others and we've been able to work things out.

    I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a large part of my life. I used to blame it on my childhood - physical and sexual abuse, and daily bullying at school. I kept all of my pain to myself. I am finding out that the more I talk about things to others that everyone has dealt with pain and sadness in some form or another. I've talked to people who've overcome horrible situations and aren't bitter. I also have found out most people worry about the same things I worry about.

    The other great thing is that the older I get, the happier I am. I'm finally learning to let the bullshit go and enjoy life. I never thought just walking my dog and playing with her would make me so fucking happy. I've also found that working hard on my relationship with my partner, my friendships, and healing past hurts with my family gives me back so much more than I put into it.

    At 48, I'm invisible to many gay men. The great thing about that is I don't care so much about how I look, what I weigh, or what clothes I'm wearing. I don't go to the clubs a whole lot because I'm too wiped out the next day. Exercising every day really brings me peace of mind. Finding time to do what I love, even if it's just a few minutes, really gets rid of the stress too.

    There are many days when I end work and the last thing I want to do is take my dog to the dog park for a couple of hours. I've actually said to myself many times, "It's not about you, it's about her," which gets me out the door. The minute I focus on her needs, I become rejuvenated. I've tried applying that to other areas of my life. The more I say, "It's not about you" the better my attitude—and life—becomes.

    ****end long rambling post******
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    Sep 14, 2012 12:24 PM GMT
    FlawedAmigo saidIt can also come from many heart breaks and such as well


    I agree and normally from someone who is longing for a relationship or maybe dwelling on the past. I guess each story is different, but I like to give them hugs. Not out of pity but just to let them know they're not alone. I think that's how I ended dating my Exs. I couldn’t resist their sad puppy dog expression and big heart.
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    Sep 14, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    East_Village_Idiot said****warning******long, rambling post ahead********

    Growing up in the Midwest, I learned the habit of looking people in the eye and saying "Hello" if I passed them on the street. I can't seem to get rid of that habit, and I constantly look people in the eye as I'm walking around New York. I see a lot of people who look sad, empty, stressed out, or pissed off. I also encounter people who will smile at me and nod.

    I spend a lot of time at the dog park, and sometimes the people there drive me crazy. It's like a small town. Many of them seem to be unhappy and take out there misery on others. I see people getting into arguments or talking about others behind their backs. When that happens, I walk away and start playing with me dog. Playing fetch with her makes me feel so happy and peaceful, and erases all of the negativity I encounter at the park.

    The other day, I was walking around the city and I did have a very sad look in my eyes. I've been having a rough time at work, was exhausted, plus I there was a misunderstanding between my partner and me. I was staring blankly and then saw someone waving, trying to get my attention. It was a young woman I know from the dog whom I hadn't seen in a while. I reached out and gave her a hug and instantly felt better.

    It seems to me that many people are overworked, or underemployed, or scared of losing their jobs, or have lost their jobs. Most of my co-workers are miserable. I see a lot of really stressed out people taking it out on others. I've found I get along much better with them when I try to understand what's going on and just listen to them. I've also talked to some who've complained about me to others and we've been able to work things out.

    I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a large part of my life. I used to blame it on my childhood - physical and sexual abuse, and daily bullying at school. I kept all of my pain to myself. I am finding out that the more I talk about things to others that everyone has dealt with pain and sadness in some form or another. I've talked to people who've overcome horrible situations and aren't bitter. I also have found out most people worry about the same things I worry about.

    The other great thing is that the older I get, the happier I am. I'm finally learning to let the bullshit go and enjoy life. I never thought just walking my dog and playing with her would make me so fucking happy. I've also found that working hard on my relationship with my partner, my friendships, and healing past hurts with my family gives me back so much more than I put into it.

    At 48, I'm invisible to many gay men. The great thing about that is I don't care so much about how I look, what I weigh, or what clothes I'm wearing. I don't go to the clubs a whole lot because I'm too wiped out the next day. Exercising every day really brings me peace of mind. Finding time to do what I love, even if it's just a few minutes, really gets rid of the stress too.

    There are many days when I end work and the last thing I want to do is take my dog to the dog park for a couple of hours. I've actually said to myself many times, "It's not about you, it's about her," which gets me out the door. The minute I focus on her needs, I become rejuvenated. I've tried applying that to other areas of my life. The more I say, "It's not about you" the better my attitude—and life—becomes.

    ****end long rambling post******


    I enjoyed your long rambling post. icon_smile.gif It made me smile, actually. As strange as this sounds, it makes me realize there are still people who are human, who still feel, who are afflicted and bothered by things but also do their best to get by in life. They are not ones who just sit down and surrender to their issues but, like you, work hard to remedy the situation.

    Big ole hug for you. icon_smile.gif *Hugs*

    Although I would say it IS about you-- it just isn't always about one facet of your life. It isn't just about your pain, your hardships, the heaviness of your past, or the baggage you hold onto. Those things may not ever leave you but your willingness to work at yourself and improve yourself is still inclusive and worth mentioning. ;) It is also about what you can do for others, what you can give to others with the resources, talents, skills, and time you have.

    Make it worth your while and others. icon_smile.gif

    On a side note for the earlier two posts that were somewhat chiding:
    There are such people who both work hard and still are afflicted. It's not like working hard makes all of your problems disappear. It just sedates the pain and agony so you can get through-- which is fine-- except it doesn't solve anything. Eventually, like a clogged drain hole, the flood begins to build within, stagnant waters overflowing and slowly drowning you from the inside out. Opening a plug requires some internal digging, soul searching, acceptance, and embracing a change that will help take out the gunk that's clogging up your path to life. icon_biggrin.gif

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:04 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidJesus, you people love to wallow, don't ya. icon_rolleyes.gif

    This whole thread: load of crap. OP: when you meet every gay man and conduct a survey, feel free to generalize like you're doing. Otherwise you're just projecting your own bullshit self-loathing on the rest of us. Ooo....life is hard, whaaa.....I'm sad, so I guess everyone is, too. Fuck this bullshit, navel gazing, myopic, self-absorbed crap. Go fuckin' help out a homeless shelter....quit whining about your crap life "Oh, it took an extra 30 sec for my itunes to download....life's hard." "Gosh, no one at work commented on my new haircut...I guess they hate me." "Oh, the guy that makes googly eyes at me in the cafe already has a boyfriend...no one will ever love me, ever, forever...and I'm gonna die alone, boo hoo."

    I'm sorry God didn't hand you heaven on a silver platter....yeah, it's real heartbreaking. But here's an idea: get off you ass and go make this world what you want it to be....and when someone tells you "you can't do that", tell 'em to fuck off. Grow a pair then go get what's yours....and never let another human being ever treat you as second class....never stand at the back of the class and hope your name doesn't get called....take charge, take no prisoners, and conquer this fuckin' world.


    legendary post

    Fasterpace saidWhere r u that ur observing this trend?

    When I was younger I used to think Asian ppl always gave dirty looks but eventually I grew up and realized its just their slanty eyes


    Wellllllll not all of us are slanty eyed icon_wink.gif

    also I'm probably just a kid and don't know anything but

    I have no idea what OP is talking about
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:07 PM GMT
    YeahhBrah saidMy eyes are full of joy because I get to have sex with hot boys so idk icon_lol.gificon_wink.gif

    The pain comes when you realize that this sort of shallowness wears off real fast. Good luck though. The downside is hardly ever as fun as the ride up the roller coaster of cheap sex and nights with gym rats and trophy whores.
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1415

    Sep 14, 2012 1:15 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    YeahhBrah saidMy eyes are full of joy because I get to have sex with hot boys so idk icon_lol.gificon_wink.gif

    The pain comes when you realize that this sort of shallowness wears off real fast. Good luck though. The downside is hardly ever as fun as the ride up the roller coaster of cheap sex and nights with gym rats and trophy whores.


    So why take the ride up to start with? If you give in to everyone and everything then you stand for nothing... What will make you sad in the end is never having respected yourself long enough to decide what you stood for in life. (and not you personally...in general)
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:19 PM GMT
    The OP is sponsored by NOM and the issue highlighted is caused by their attitude.

    If society were not pushed by christians to make life hard for gays there would be fewer fucked up gays with sad eyes.
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:20 PM GMT
    This. So this. Self-development is dead

    ParadiseLost said
    <

    Hmn.. Not sure what you mean. Here, the men seem emptier than an abandoned meat factory. icon_neutral.gif

    I can read people's eyes but it's rare I ever find 'the spark of life' inside of them-- not literally but in the sense where they resonate with a sense of awareness. It's like their insides just shut down and gave up trying to search out themselves. icon_confused.gif
    ''


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    Sep 14, 2012 1:21 PM GMT
    bpguru said
    smartmoney said
    YeahhBrah saidMy eyes are full of joy because I get to have sex with hot boys so idk icon_lol.gificon_wink.gif

    The pain comes when you realize that this sort of shallowness wears off real fast. Good luck though. The downside is hardly ever as fun as the ride up the roller coaster of cheap sex and nights with gym rats and trophy whores.


    So why take the ride up to start with? If you give in to everyone and everything then you stand for nothing... What will make you sad in the end is never having respected yourself long enough to decide what you stood for in life. (and not you personally...in general)

    My point exactly.
    As to the OP point, my sense is that after a few decades of fighting for equal rights and fighting of AIDS maybe gay men and finding out that dating men is not all that great, something my sister told me a long time ago, that a lot of men are just self centered dicks.
    The sadness in the eyes of so many gay men may be the sense that as you look around the choices, the pumped up men, these over pimped out and over played out shallow morons and you start to think, really, is this it?
    I don't know, I don't have that sadness look, my friends don't have it, but I have heard enough whining about the emptiness of the "gay lifestyle" that I think it's all related somehow. Clothes and shoes and hair will only fill you up so far.
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:21 PM GMT
    Interesting topic, JOOU, thanks. And your posts, too ParadiseLost (and yes I read them all).

    I've found what you've described to be pandemographic, however, across genders and orientations. Life often isn't fair, but humans have the remarkable potential to make it fair.

    One of my favourite authors wrote about this. The protagonist' heart, in the story, felt torn. "sore for all the captives who had ever been, of whatever captivity, but most especially for those who drove themselves into exile, who locked themselves into themselves and lost the key."

    I was once in that emotional place both of you describe, and I found a way out, and so did Bill. It's also what we find so attractive in each other. I try to share what I discovered as much as possible (I started a topic about it).

    Here's evidence straights go through this, too.

    Two songs, one answering the other:


    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people

    Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
    Lives in a dream
    Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
    Who is it for?

    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?

    Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
    No one comes near
    Look at him working. Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
    What does he care?

    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?

    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people

    Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
    Nobody came
    Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
    No one was saved

    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?


    ...and here's the answer, the key to release from captivity that I found. In the lyrics the man in your heart is You. The light of the world is love, whether it is platonic or romantic, it's expression towards one another an easy, yet so oddly difficult door to open and threshold to cross for some.






    Name your price
    A ticket to paradise
    I can't stay here any more
    And I've looked high and low
    I've been from shore, to shore, to shore
    If there's a short cut I'd have found it
    But there is no easy way around it

    Light of the world, shine on me
    Love is the answer
    Shine on us all
    Set us free
    Love is the answer

    Who knows why
    Someday we all must die
    We're all homeless boys and girls
    And we are never heard
    It's such a lonely, lonely, lonely world
    People turn their heads
    And walk on by
    Tell me is it worth just another try

    Light of the world, shine on me
    Love is the answer
    Shine on us all
    Set us free
    Love is the answer

    Tell me, are we alive
    Or just a dying planet
    (What are the chances)

    Ask the man in your heart
    For the answer

    And when you feel afraid
    (Love one another)
    When you've lost your way
    (Love one another)
    And when you're all alone
    (Love one another)
    And when you're far from home
    (Love one another)
    And when you're down and out
    (Love one another)
    And when your hopes run out
    (Love one another)
    And when you need a friend
    (Love one another)
    And when you're near the end
    (Love)
    (We've got to love)
    (We've got to love one another)

    Light of the world, shine on me
    Love is the answer
    Shine on us all
    Set us free
    Love is the answer

    Light of the world, shine on me
    Love is the answer


    Lastly, as men, we are often taught that emotional expression of how we feel in words and gestures, platonically or romantically, is a display of weakness, or girlish, and in reality it is neither. I tell those that I love that I love them. I'm consistent and persistent and lol, I'm sure some find me a little too much, but having found this key, I can't put it down. Instead I offer it, and there is nothing so satisfying, so uplifting to the point of soaring, as having it returned in kind.

    -very warmly,

    Doug of meninlove





  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Sep 14, 2012 1:27 PM GMT
    New Orleans in general, and the gayborhood of Marigny-Bywater in particular, is very good at making Gay Guys happy.

    More than one guy has come here "just for a short visit" and never left.

    Ya'll Come On Dowwnnnnnnnnn icon_exclaim.gif




    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    [Condensed]




    Wow, thank you for reading all my posts. icon_biggrin.gif I appreciate it greatly! *Hugs*

    What beautiful songs and completely poignant/relevant. icon_smile.gif I agree, as cheesy as all hell as it may sound: love is the way and the answer. It's the light in this world.

    Now, if only people could take it seriously and accept it into themselves. ;)

    Thank you Doug for that wonderfully insightful post. icon_smile.gif You put it best.
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:50 PM GMT
    There is definitely a point to the sadness. Working in retail, being a cashier/manager, and going out to restaurants, libraries, clubs, etc. I get to see a lot of the empty vacant look. For some it's accurate, for others it's just a guard they have up so they don't get hurt. Either way it's sad. Although a previous poster was right, you have to go get whats yours...or something along those lines. Basically you control how happy or not you are (chemical imbalances not included~), I've had periods of time where I was quite down and out and I remember people asking why I'm so sad all the time. Now I've shifted my point of view and my energy rubs off on people and some ask how many coffees I've had (none since I don't drink coffee). So there is definite truth to that sad and empty look in someones eyes, but there are ways to go about fixing things, or making them better. You have to take that step though, you have to let go of thinking someone will do it for you, let go of how crappy of a hand life has dealt you and just..go for it. It's hard to explain...

    How does one approach someone with that look? Would you be deterred from getting to know them? It's also hard to see that same look in those you love icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    I have very few gay friends, but I'd say your observation is pretty accurate. I think many gay guys have internal struggles, and those are telegraphed through their eyes. Moreover, many have longings that they wish they could fulfill--e.g., a normal life, a loving partner, a stable profession, an accepting and supportive family, loyal friends, etc.--and sometimes these longings are harder for some gay people to achieve. Thus, the sadness in their eyes.
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    Sep 14, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidI'm sorry God didn't hand you heaven on a silver platter....yeah, it's real heartbreaking. But here's an idea: get off you ass and go make this world what you want it to be....and when someone tells you "you can't do that", tell 'em to fuck off. Grow a pair then go get what's yours....and never let another human being ever treat you as second class....never stand at the back of the class and hope your name doesn't get called....take charge, take no prisoners, and conquer this fuckin' world.

    We could've used you in the Army, seriously (no sexual double entendres, please).

    There are lots of reasons for a sad or distracted look - you're worrying about how to pay a bill you just got, your BF just walked out on you, maybe you're sick, you drink too much or take drugs. I didn't realize how much my cancer and its treatment did that to me until afterwards, when friends started remarking how the "twinkle" in my eyes had returned.

    Returned? I never knew it had gone away (actually I didn't even know I had a twinkle). But it wasn't from sadness, and nothing except restoring my health would have brought it back, nothing much my friends could have done for me.

    On the other hand, I do like to bring a smile and a twinkle to others. Nothing pleases me more than making people laugh, and I do enjoy being the bright spot in a group. Ask some of the RJ guys who have met me. Gawd knows at the typical age of my contemporaries a bit of laughter can be a rare commodity.

    So I work at bringing smiles, if only because I selfishly don't like being surrounded by gloominess. Their secret sorrows really don't interest me that much, unless they tell me. And when I find myself in a mirthless situation I take charge and set about reversing it.

    Whether they've got an underlying problem or not, and whether or not I know what it is, just making them happy makes me happy. Again, because I hate being surrounded by unhappy people. It's really that simple, without getting into all kinds of psychology and even social work. If we all did that then the OP's goals would be met, without all the extraneous analysis.
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    Sep 14, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    yourname2000 saidI'm sorry God didn't hand you heaven on a silver platter....yeah, it's real heartbreaking. But here's an idea: get off you ass and go make this world what you want it to be....and when someone tells you "you can't do that", tell 'em to fuck off. Grow a pair then go get what's yours....and never let another human being ever treat you as second class....never stand at the back of the class and hope your name doesn't get called....take charge, take no prisoners, and conquer this fuckin' world.

    We could've used you in the Army, seriously (no sexual double entendres, please).

    There are lots of reasons for a sad or distracted look - you're worrying about how to pay a bill you just got, your BF just walked out on you, maybe you're sick, you drink too much or take drugs. I didn't realize how much my cancer and its treatment did that to me until afterwards, when friends started remarking how the "twinkle" in my eyes had returned.

    Returned? I never knew it had gone away (actually I didn't even know I had a twinkle). But it wasn't from sadness, and nothing except restoring my health would have brought it back, nothing much my friends could have done for me.

    On the other hand, I do like to bring a smile and a twinkle to others. Nothing pleases me more than making people laugh, and I do enjoy being the bright spot in a group. Ask some of the RJ guys who have met me. Gawd knows at the typical age of my contemporaries a bit of laughter can be a rare commodity.

    So I work at bringing smiles, if only because I selfishly don't like being surrounded by gloominess. Their secret sorrows really don't interest me that much, unless they tell me. And when I find myself in a mirthless situation I take charge and set about reversing it.

    Whether they've got an underlying problem or not, and whether or not I know what it is, just making them happy makes me happy. Again, because I hate being surrounded by unhappy people. It's really that simple, without getting into all kinds of psychology and even social work. If we all did that then the OP's goals would be met, without all the extraneous analysis.


    +1 Gold Star. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    As cheap and self serving as this post is about to seem, I am going to comment because I know it will be therapeutic- Some of the guys here know what I grew up with- it was not pretty,I never really had the emotional support system that I needed and it causes issues in life for me today- I too have that painful loneliness and I wish someone had noticed growing up-- I wish someone would look into my eyes and help me along