Fear of infection preventing me meeting guys

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    I've had this deep rooted fear of germs and infection since I was little and now it seems to be why I feel afraid of getting a boyfriend or hooking up. Right after my first (safer) sexual experience I deluded myself that I had caught something. I only went to get tested months later after so much paranoia and crying. All clear.

    Since then I felt less paranoid when meeting other guys until this year. Because HIV can take up to 6 months to become visible to a screening I feel like I can't find a partner or fall for the likes of a hookup, because then I'd be compelled to wait 6 months for a thorough test before I can rest my mind and start the cycle over again.

    I am wondering how to lose this attitude? The 6 months waiting game can't be disproved, and safe sex can never be too safe. Then again I value my carefulness because it is better to be safe then sorry. But it doesn't really change anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    Don't have any intimate or sexual contact with another person if you're not prepared for even the tiniest possibility that you could get a disease from that person. Everything that we do has risks associated with it. We try to minimize those risks, however, that's why they're called "calculated risks." In the context of sex/intimacy, we minimize the risks of contracting a disease by, for example, using condoms, refraining from kissing immediately after a dental appointment, not rimming an unwashed anus, etc. Driving is a risky proposition, yet we still drive. We minimize the risks by, for example, obtaining an adequate insurance coverage, not driving while intoxicated, following traffic rules, etc. Every affirmative act has risks and your obligation to yourself is to try to minimize those risks. That's all you could ask of your self.
  • BarettaB80

    Posts: 141

    Sep 14, 2012 3:06 PM GMT

  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1558

    Sep 14, 2012 7:53 PM GMT
    HIV is actually very difficult to get, except for unprotected anal sex. That being said, it sounds like you have some deep seated phobia regarding germs and being infected with something. Suggest you see a therapist to start working on this fear/phobia, and I would guess some other issues that may prevent you from functioning fully with others and in society. Good Luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2012 10:57 PM GMT
    Op maybe you are the type of guy that Needs to date 1 person longterm..you both get tested for everything before you hop in the sack..and even then use condoms anyway..??