• Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2008 12:57 PM GMT
    Hi Guys,

    So I should be headed to work right now, but I figured I'd check Realjock.

    I was just reading through some forums with a few guys that were HIV+ responding and telling their status in the midst of their comment, but I was wondering for those guys who have tested positive, what were your initial thoughts/feelings when you learned you had HIV? I hate to make uneducated assumptions as to how you really felt during that time, so I rather just ask.

    My reasoning because I learned that an ex of mine tested positive 2 years ago (we dated like 5 years ago) so after I made sure that I was safe, I called him up and after all these years our talk lead to us even being better friends than we were before. But all the while that he assured me that I had nothing to worry about, that he knows exactly who he got it from, etc, I could help but to wonder how the heck he was feeling. I didn't want to be rude and just ask "so now that you've tested positive, how are you feeling emotionally." So I guess I'll be rude and ask you guys how you felt when you learned your positive status and how has your emotional health been since learning? Thanks gentlemen!
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Sep 06, 2008 6:29 PM GMT
    "so now that you've tested positive, how are you feeling emotionally."

    That's not rude [in my opinion] long as you are ready for whatever answer pops out of his mouth...

    First few weeks of being positive: I woke up and thought F*CK!

    After about the first few months: I calmed down, read up on my diagnosis. Was scared about half the things I read and was hopeful about the other half.

    Now: I barely think about it. It's not fun or easy to bring up in conversations when dating, but all in all, I can actually see quite a bit of good that came from my life from being positive. I don't see it as a negative in my life.

    talk to know how.

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2008 5:49 PM GMT
    I went into deep shock because I was not expecting the news. I had always practiced safer sex. To this day I do not know who gave it to me or when I got it. I was very ill in 1995 with thrush, night sweats, and hepatitis, so I suspect I was infected a few years earlier because my CD4 counts were below 200 (therefore I officially had "AIDS" for awhile).

    I can't say I have gone a day without thinking about it since I take drugs every day. I think though it has had some unexpected constructive aspects. I am more self-disciplined, less prone to selfishness, and better able to cope with the ups and downs of life. Another words more mature!

    Today I am happily "married" (almost 11 years), have a good job, my health is excellent and I am thinking about retirement in less than 10 years. The only downside has been the side effects from the drugs.