I have given up... I can't find a place for me in the gay community....

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    Aug 24, 2008 1:29 AM GMT
    Sedative said
    ActiveAndFit said
    Sedative saidXD ROFLMAO The first guy who kissed did it to intimidate the other guy. That turned out sweet though. ROFL

    I remember a Muay Thai match(?) where a Malaysian(?) kissed his opponent in an effort to intimidate the other guy. He ended up getting pounded to the floor by his furious homophobic opponent. LOL
    Yeah I have seen that too .. funny .. but face it with the video I posted .. as if you would not throw in the towel anyway .. if that guy kissed you, would that the fight be over before it started? lol


    I'd gladly give him the belt in exchange for more intimate wrestling later LOL icon_cool.gif
    Yeah I bet you wouldn't mind if he gave you the belt .. no, no that one! .. lol

    BTW, did you see them smile afterwards? Yeah they looked real intimidated .. lol icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 1:31 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said
    BTW, did you see them smile afterwards? Yeah they looked real intimidated .. lol icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif


    Yeah. It was an 'Oh man, I think I just got lucky tonight.' kinda smile. LOL
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    Aug 24, 2008 1:57 AM GMT
    try this: read this book... it's not very big, it won't take forever, just think about what Albert Ellis is telling you. any book ny him will give you a fresh perspective on what's irking you so bad. try it.

    http://www.amazon.com/Stubbornly-Refuse-Yourself-Miserable-Anything/dp/0818404566/ref=pd_cp_b_3?pf_rd_p=413864201&pf_rd_s=center-41&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0806516704&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1X5VKX8M5WY1N64V3DGE

    How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything

    Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

    then go out in the world and rejoice that there's no one just like you :-D

    xoxo
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    Aug 24, 2008 1:57 AM GMT
    jprichva saidHey guys, can the mean-ass stuff. Really.

    I've had a chance to communicate with the OP a bit and he's actually a sweet guy, just a little angry about some things in his life which I don't feel it's my place to talk about here, but which I think would piss anyone off.

    This rant of his is one of those "I should have stepped away from the keyboard" moments, to be sure, but he's not at all the way you all seem to think.

    IMHO, after his anger/drunk wears off, I think he really should come back on here and straighten things out a bit. He doesnt need to reveal his private life. But it is a tad annoying to be on this side, go to the trouble to respond to someone's posting and then find out..."well, this really isnt his problem."

    It's like crying wolf...next time when someone does bears their angst, people might ignore it, remembering the effort they put forth before and it was a false alarm. ... icon_evil.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 1:59 AM GMT
    briboychicago saidtry this: read this book... it's not very big, it won't take forever, just think about what Albert Ellis is telling you. any book ny him will give you a fresh perspective on what's irking you so bad. try it.

    http://www.amazon.com/Stubbornly-Refuse-Yourself-Miserable-Anything/dp/0818404566/ref=pd_cp_b_3?pf_rd_p=413864201&pf_rd_s=center-41&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0806516704&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1X5VKX8M5WY1N64V3DGE

    How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything

    Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

    then go out in the world and rejoice that there's no one just like you :-D

    xoxo

    He doesnt need this book...this evidently is a lot of nonsense that has little to do with his problem....whatever it might be!
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    Aug 24, 2008 2:18 AM GMT
    It'smylife - Guy, yes it can be frustrating as my friend said above -

    Don't look so hard - he will come - BE GOOD TO YOURSELF - live your life!icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 2:19 AM GMT
    str8hardbody said. We are here to help you and cheer you up let's hangout and I'll show you where to go in Hollywood.


    Hey, ItsMyLife, if you take str8hardbody up on his offer, don't look directly into his eyes.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16517

    Aug 24, 2008 2:30 AM GMT
    Well I have a couple of questions and these are reasonable ones to ask and I'm not trying to be sarcastic in any way.

    Are you comfortable with you? Do you know who you are?

    It can be hard to "fit in", but do you really know what would make you fit in or is it just simply an awkwardness that you continue to experience, regardless of the circumstances.

    Let me say that I've felt odd in many groups, but I like and am comfortable with who I am. If I can contribute and find an association with a group beneficial, the awkwardness may evaporate... but I still know I'm unique among those assembled.......

    I would suggest some self study. When do you feel comfortable? With friends, if so, why do you feel comfortable? I'd try and learn from all this without getting all frustrated. I can appreciate where you are coming from, but don't blame the gay community... there are many I don't relate to either!

    I would like to hear more about what you are doing . Please share with us whats going on with you.
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    Aug 24, 2008 2:37 AM GMT
    Has the gay community done something wrong again for not conforming to someone's masculine wishes? This will be the first time I've seen a macho/masculine person throw a tantrum about about the gay community. With that behaviour, I think it is a perfect fit. You actually *almost* fit in. You just need a bit more wit and lightheartedness ;-)

    I'd say it looks like the pressure of you trying to conform to the st8 community and your parent's perception of the gay community that is bothering you. In trying to fit in to the gay community, you've asked that everyone be the same as you. I have been swimming around in THAT community before and I can tell you it is no shopping mall. It is no one-stop shop for groceries, relationships, jobs, medical attention, etc.

    No one is pressuring you to fit into the gay community, but you're always welcomed. Thank you for shopping!
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    Aug 24, 2008 2:43 AM GMT
    Caslon6000 saidand they need sympathy?!?!?!?!?!


    Yes, yes they do. They are children and deserve our greatest attention.
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    Aug 24, 2008 2:58 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    str8hardbody said. We are here to help you and cheer you up let's hangout and I'll show you where to go in Hollywood.


    Hey, ItsMyLife, if you take str8hardbody up on his offer, don't look directly into his eyes.


    What's wrong with str8hardbody's eyes? They're adorable!

    Gorilla_A_Warren_1.jpg

    Cootchie Coo!
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3850

    Aug 24, 2008 3:17 AM GMT
    giantsfan85 saidI am 23 and no one knows about me. Reading this, makes me not want anyone to know. Is it really that bad?


    Only if you are an O's fan like me... anyway. No, its not, but at the same time we all bottom out at times- regardless of sexuality.
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    Aug 24, 2008 3:36 AM GMT
    ItsMyLife saidI have been out of the closet for over two years now and I have spent the whole time trying to find my place. Everywhere I went I felt like I didn't really fit in anywhere that was for the gay community, the clubs, the bars, even the hollywood LGBT center had nothing to offer me even when I tried to do things with it I was the only person under 35, and I still was like an outcast looking in. I always look online and other places just for a place you know? It makes me feel like shit and makes what my parents say to me hurt even more when they say that you can't be gay because your not like any other gay man.... well after two years well I fucking feel that way! I mean I have meet one person who is a masculine gay guy who is really competitive in sports, and is like me.... One fucking guy! what the hell! And the first place I have ever felt like I truly fit in for the first time in my life and that I feel like I am with people who are like me is at my Mixed Martial Arts Gym but I no one knows I am gay there so its like I am not being my true self...... So yeah thats my fucking rant Fuck the gay community I have yet to see one person in the public eye I can relate to and more than one person I have met in my life! So I hate this and I hate who I am! Being gay has been nothing but a curse in my life


    I'm gonna slap the shit out of you! YES, it's hard, but no impossible. I still haven't found MY PLACE. But, I know what I'm looking for. That's a great thing! In either case, it's not about "MY PLACE" it's about being just happy enough to go anywhere and you're happy with yourself. DON'T listen to your family. I was brainwashed into hating men when I was growing up. So much, that my biggest fear wasn't being a "sinner" it was just so scarry to end up with a man. BUT, I figured it all out and I LOVE men! They're assholes - we all are on some level - but the good ones astound me and make me go nutty. If I listed to everyone else I'd be a minister in west Texas with a wife and three kids and finding whores to hook up with on the side as I sink in fear for who I am. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!! We'll find our place, until then...there's RealJock!!!

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 3:44 AM GMT
    DCEric, this is how I read your last sentence (I swear!):

    DCEric said we all bottom ... regardless of sexuality.


    I guess I should stop trying to skim through the posts. Or maybe I need to stop thinking about those two fighters that started kissing... I love that clip icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 3:52 AM GMT
    Sedative said
    jprichva said
    str8hardbody said. We are here to help you and cheer you up let's hangout and I'll show you where to go in Hollywood.


    Hey, ItsMyLife, if you take str8hardbody up on his offer, don't look directly into his eyes.


    What's wrong with str8hardbody's eyes? They're adorable!

    Gorilla_A_Warren_1.jpg

    Cootchie Coo!


    rofl.gif


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    Aug 24, 2008 3:54 AM GMT
    RBY71 said
    rofl.gif

    He's not rolling on the floor laughing....what's up with that?
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    Aug 24, 2008 3:56 AM GMT
    Caslon6000 said
    RBY71 said
    rofl.gif

    He's not rolling on the floor laughing....what's up with that?


    Better?Laugh-ROFL.gif
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Aug 24, 2008 3:58 AM GMT
    I'd like to pose my answer in the form of a song...



    The moral? It's no one else's fault but yours. You make the decision to be unhappy or happy, successful or unsuccessful. Stop blaming "the community", whatever that is. Start looking at the real issue: yourself. Take responsibility and do something about it.

    Sorry if that was a bit harsh. But, you really do have complete and total control of your life. Seize it.
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    Aug 24, 2008 4:22 AM GMT
    Caslon6000 said
    jprichva saidHey guys, can the mean-ass stuff. Really.

    I've had a chance to communicate with the OP a bit and he's actually a sweet guy, just a little angry about some things in his life which I don't feel it's my place to talk about here, but which I think would piss anyone off.

    This rant of his is one of those "I should have stepped away from the keyboard" moments, to be sure, but he's not at all the way you all seem to think.

    IMHO, after his anger/drunk wears off, I think he really should come back on here and straighten things out a bit. He doesnt need to reveal his private life. But it is a tad annoying to be on this side, go to the trouble to respond to someone's posting and then find out..."well, this really isnt his problem."

    It's like crying wolf...next time when someone does bears their angst, people might ignore it, remembering the effort they put forth before and it was a false alarm. ... icon_evil.gif


    Not to add fuel to the fire, but this isn't the first time the OP has vented this way. In the "I need a hero..." thread, for example, many of us reached out to ItsMyLife, but in the end, he wasn't really receptive. Jprichva has more of an insiders' view, so I'll take him at his word that there is more here than meets the eye.
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    Aug 24, 2008 4:37 AM GMT
    RBY71 said
    Caslon6000 said
    RBY71 said
    rofl.gif

    He's not rolling on the floor laughing....what's up with that?


    Better?Laugh-ROFL.gif

    OK, NOW URE STARTIN TO BORE ME
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    Aug 24, 2008 5:18 AM GMT
    Caslon6000 said
    makeumyne said - Do you really think it's easy for heterosexual people to fit into the world either? It's not. It's not easy for anyone.

    A bit of a digression...

    When I hear about how hard life is for str8 teenagers...how confused they are...how they are trying to understand themselves..

    I am like OH BOO HOO....ya bunch of pansy str8 kids....

    str8 kids have it all mapped out for them....role models ....societal support ....freedom to talk abou themselves....everything!!!!!

    and they need sympathy?!?!?!?!?!

    you want tough...you want confusing .... try getting thru those teen years as a gay kid in the US...

    ...I'll give ya hard...fucking little cry babies....ya wouldnt last a day ...A FUCKING DAY ...as a gay kid.

    get outta my way...

    it about this time in my hallucination that my face is crimson red and I am slamming str8 teen heads into any hard surface available. ...I'll give ya hard!

    SERENITY NOW! .... icon_lol.gif



    Here! Here! try being a gay kid and an ethnic minority; and a short, skinny introverted one at that!
  • SuneFL

    Posts: 129

    Aug 24, 2008 5:25 AM GMT
    It'sMyLfie...

    Dream big without the negative thoughts. You'll get what you want. You're light years ahead of me and many others. Heck, I just told my brother last week. I am still trying to find my place and find guys in the gay community with whom I click. I'm still trying to convince my bf he's gay (and we've been together 8 years.) LOL

    Don't age yourself too fast with this heavy stuff. Have fun. If you like MMa, do it. Someone who also likes it will come along. I'm guilty of wishing for things too much and finding only disappointment when they don't happen.

    You've already found one, small segment of the gay community that shares some of your interests and passions right here on RealJock. Use it and use them to your benefit. Most of these guys are athletic. They are all intelligent. And, they are survivors in a lot of different ways. You are not alone.



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    Aug 24, 2008 5:26 AM GMT
    Only two years? Only California? Get some more mileage on yourself while letting things happen naturally instead of trying so hard to find your place. Expand your horizons while life happens and don't expect to find anyone who is exactly like you...we are all unique. It's great to have things in common with others but make sure you respect everyone's individuality, including your own. You don't have to be anyone's ideal match just to "fit in" to any one community.icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 6:23 AM GMT
    I feel your pain....in.....out and back in again! I never fit in and don't want to. I run my own race and follow no pack. I hike naked alone and take joy in the fact it's not on some stupid cruz ship with so many who think they are the light of the world. I say be at ease and all with fall into place. If not....relaXXX babe when you need to CUM!
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    Aug 24, 2008 6:45 AM GMT

    I'm glad ItsMyLife posted, because it appears as if this topic resonated for many of us when we were younger and still resonates for others here who perhaps weren't brazen enough to post and publicly air their frustration.

    I think there's been a lot of good advice here. It's never easy to find a partner who fits the bill (I have a lot of single straight friends and family), especially for those of us who are - for better and worse - picky.

    There's another thread (which I haven't yet read) about "perfection", but a different issue is what we demand of our (potential) partners. Somewhere in my mind I always thought it would be great if he loved football. Someone to go with me to games, to go to the field and play. But really, how important is that in real life? I love the guys on my gay football team, and while all of them have their strengths and weaknesses (as I do) I don't think I'd consider any of them to be boyfriend material (were I single). Football alone isn't enough.

    My "compromise" is that I go to see football games with an old high school friend and his kid (and at times other friends, some of whom are gay). I play intramural football on a staight team (to which I'm not out) and also on my gay team. And then I come home to Matt, who does his book club thing, watches Project Runway with some "fag hags", one's husband and another gay guy. I love Matt dearly, but it's also good for us to each do his own thing.

    So, getting back to you, my advice is to "diversify". Don't look for One friend to be it all. Even if such a person does exist, he may decide you're too much like him to date, or he may not be your type, or who knows what.

    And yeah, you're young. You have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't expect it to arrive all at once in one neatly boxed package. Take it one piece at a time and enjoy the journey.