Have you ever led a girl on?

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    Aug 24, 2008 8:17 AM GMT
    Well, I did just that. I didn't mean for it to go very far, but I think I got it all under control! I meant it as friends, but I realize it's not what she's thinking.

    I met this beautiful girl a few weeks ago, and we hit it off right away. She kept on saying, "Oh my god, we keep finishing each others sentences!" and since day one of meeting, we've been going on daily jogs together.

    These past few days we've been surfing together a lot in malibu and taking some jogs down the beach. Today my board shorts almost fell off and she was so excited about that, and tried to help the waves pull them off! icon_eek.gif lol. She said, "Man, I really wanted them to come off!" I just laughed it off.

    Afterwards we laid out and she asked me to rub oil all over her and she took her top off for a minute. I don't know why exactly, but I guess she thought it would get me excited.

    Well tonight she asked me out for dinner and a movie and at dinner we had a very hot waiter! He was so cool too. I just felt so bad, and I was wanting to laugh so hard, because the waiter and I ended up exchanging phone numbers.

    I don't really mean to lead this girl on, she's just really awesome to hang out with. We have so much in common, but I'm sure she knows I'm gay, but I'll be telling her soon anyways. I mean seriously, when I met her I was watching mean girls! lol!
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:58 AM GMT
    Sadly... yes.

    Early high school, got close to this girl, slim to the point of ranginess and sassy, and I was beginning to think of her as my girlfriend,purely wishful thinking on my part (the attraction to her part, not her attraction to me part, I was wishing so bad I was straight). Thankfully I couldn't take the teasing (you know... kids and couples, I was barely 12!) and we drifted off.

    Later on with 2 other girls who I knew for sure were attracted to me. I avoided them as much as I could since it was around this time (Junior and Senior year) that I already knew I had fallen in love with one of my straight male buddies (and the heartbreak and depression that followed, LOL).

    Then college, there was this girl, she was really pretty. Classic mestiza filipina beauty, smart-mouthed, and VERY intelligent. The only girl I've ever met who I can actually joke and talk geek stuff with. She also had scoliosis and lupus, making her vulnerable somehow (and there's something about vulnerable women that I just want to protect icon_confused.gif ). I viewed her as one of my closest female friends. She was my lab partner in Comparative Anatomy, and one day as we were working together, she started singing Santana and Chad Kroeger's 'Why Don't You And I', and since I liked that song, I identified it. She looked at me and said, 'I'm surprised you know that song!' and then she shakes her head and says wistfully, 'of course you know that song, it's you.'

    I laughed and said why. She simply said, 'Do you know what the song is about?' Then it dawned on me. The song was about a guy who liked this girl a lot but was too afraid to ask her out. Only then also did I make the connection that she viewed me as something more than a friend.

    I started recalling things she said in the past, like the way she always teases me about being a 'Bugnaw-Simud' (Cold Muzzle, a filipino euphemism, meaning a guy who's too much of a coward to confess his true feelings to a girl) when she knows too well that I wasn't courting anyone.

    She thinks I'm in love with her! icon_sad.gif

    I felt really guilty. Because I also realized that the only reason she was still single for three years in a university of hot guys looking for trophy girlfriends was because she was waiting for me... damn..

    I started brushing her off and stuff. Not returning text messages. Preferring to go out with the guys, etc. Cruel but necessary, since I couldn't come out to her after having led her on unknowingly! I finally got out of that school after shifting courses from Biology to Programming. First few months in my new school she kept texting me, and i replied as rarely as I could. I dunno if she finally got it. Bleh. She's studying medicine now.

    Anyway, I never knowingly took on a girlfriend, if that counts. LOL. I know I'm not hot stuff, but women always seem to sense that we're unthreatening, looking for more than sex, and sensitive and they would zero in on us gay guys. I figured that was my appeal. Otherwise... *shrugs* they probably ate too many cookies! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 2:12 PM GMT
    Yes I have. Im not proud of it. I just feel I led every girl I was ever with on because I knew I never would want to be with them 100%. I feel especially bad for my ex girlfriend. No one ever deserves to be led on. If your not completely into them......let them go.
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    Aug 24, 2008 8:37 PM GMT
    Dude if she's that cool to hang out with, tell her you're gay as soon as you can.
    The more you make her wait, the more she may develop feelings for you, the more she's gonna get hurt, and the less chances you'll have to keep her as a friend.
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    Aug 24, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    Yup, for two years in highschool. Was trying to prove to myself and others that I wasn't gay. She was one of the first people to know when I did come out though, and she just laughed it off.

    But yeah, this girl seems like she could be a good friend: get it out of the way asap before it becomes "a whole big thing".
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:18 PM GMT
    I indirectly have done so MANY times in the past, because i have always found it easier to open up to girlsicon_rolleyes.gif....I would keep it secret of course in Highschool out of fear, and when any girls would want to "go further" with the friendship, or hang out outside of school, Homcomings, dances, proms, I would simply say that i come from an extremely strict, and conservative background and that i am not allowed to go out.....then there would be times where i would act a bit effeminate, so they would take the hint, now i simply say i'm queer, in wich there have been many who had the odasity to ask me " are you 100% gay?", or "are you sure your gay"?.....yes i am a @#$# suckin, butt-hole rimming, ass pirateicon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gificon_twisted.gificon_lol.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:27 PM GMT
    Ahoy me matey!
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:43 PM GMT
  • SuneFL

    Posts: 129

    Aug 24, 2008 9:46 PM GMT
    Now, walk my .... um, the plank!

    It's been a while since I've led a woman on to the point she would think I was physically attracted to her.

    In some ways, I do lead them on all the time. I just did it last week with a childhood friend at a theme park. I tend to flirt to get my way. I did this with several women to get onto rides faster or get perks for my friend's son. There's smiling. We touch each other... the little laugh... they toss their hair and then take me aside and tell me, "come back in a few minutes" and I'll hook you up. I even did this last night at a restaurant with the hostess to get seated faster. We only waited 45 minutes... while most waited more than 2 hours. I guess it's a bit evil, but I figure they'll probably forget about me after a short cry and some time. LOL

    *ADD* Wow, that's conceited. I take it all back.

    A little flirting never hurts with them. Just make sure it doesn't go too far!