Man Ingests 10 lbs of Bacon Rectally, Dies

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    you know youve done your job as a satirist if everyone believes you
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    Sep 28, 2012 3:25 PM GMT
    Kinda makes sense that guy in the picture is clearly a vegan and wouldn't touch meat...
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    Sep 28, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    That's why I say everything in moderation!

    moderation.jpg
  • AllAmericanJo...

    Posts: 4271

    Sep 28, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    Natural selection is awesome.
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    Sep 28, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    Why? Just like the lady who drank a whole gallon of water and died for a Nintendo wii. Why?
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    Sep 28, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif....................................icon_eek.gif................icon_eek.gif
    .
    .
    .
    .
    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 28, 2012 7:00 PM GMT
    Darwinism wins again!
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    Sep 29, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    What a waste of perfectly good bacon... RIP, fella.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11643

    Sep 29, 2012 1:02 AM GMT
    overheard at autopsy:

    "This guy has a fat ass."
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 29, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidYesterday there was a report about some kid who died from drinking alcohol with his ass.
    Today a report says a dude died from eating bacon with his ass.
    What's on the menu for tomorrow?


    Mitt Romney talking out his ass, Paulie.....
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    Sep 29, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    That's really sad news....And why would you even consider putting things like that in your anus! X_X
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    Sep 29, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    Lol
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    Sep 29, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    Things like this happen when you don't make sure your food is organic.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1822

    Sep 29, 2012 1:39 AM GMT
    lol icon_lol.gif

    "It’s like, look, I get it. Bacon is good. That’s objectively true"

    But it's good that at least some took it seriously, otherwise it wouldn't be as fun icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 29, 2012 1:53 AM GMT
    RadRTT said
    Scruffypup said
    RadRTT saidI wonder if how the bacon was cooked had anything to do with it. Was it extra crispy? Or was it just raw bacon? Was is it still warm or was it cold? This article needs to go more in depth...



    The bacon was said to be warm when it entered his body, but got cold within a few hours. icon_eek.gif


    I would feel since its in his colon, the bacon would still be warm...



    The body turns cold when you die, right? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Sep 29, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said<

    The body turns cold when you die, right? icon_rolleyes.gif


    I would guess starting with extremities, but the part where the bacon went would be one of the last to go cold? Maybe they'll make this into a CSI and work out all the details.
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    Sep 29, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    RadRTT said
    Scruffypup said
    RadRTT said

    The body turns cold when you die, right? icon_rolleyes.gif


    Now Im curious....Im going to get my Anatomy Books...ill be back with the answer
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    Sep 29, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    Oh, wow... Really????

    WTF icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 29, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    That sounds like an incredibly stupid thing to do. But he probably was not aware of the possibility of dying from it. R.I.P.
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    Sep 29, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    thats gross. i feel really bad for his family. but im tired of guys doing this.
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    Sep 29, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    LJay saidoverheard at autopsy:

    "This guy has a fat ass."



    Not to be mistaken for a "phat" ass.

    Those we like. Right, bitchuz?

    fitness-011311-tm.gif

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRaUH8GV-usUcG3WrOo-k


    i like fat juicy asses. like fuck muscle asses, i want some jiggle
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    Sep 29, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    How embarrassing... "My son died because he put 10lbs of bacon up his butt" icon_redface.gif
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Sep 29, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    RadRTT said

    Now Im curious....Im going to get my Anatomy Books...ill be back with the answer


    I know this much:

    A) dont' try to move the body by yourself, even if they're not fat they're really heavy.

    2) make the room as cold as possible, if it's winter open the window, otherwise turn the AC as cold as you can, this delays discovery, and also throws off the time of death.

    #) make sure the bacon u use is the most widely distributed popular brand to make it impossible to trace, or better yet use the bacon in the victims fridge.
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Sep 29, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    LVmoto78 saidHow embarrassing... "My son died because he put 10lbs of bacon up his butt" icon_redface.gif


    especially if he's jewish
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    "Additionally, my satire about the social media intern who died of butt bacon was a joke at the expense of Reddit, and I still receive occasional traffic to it from Something Awful, Fark, and other various message boards. So again, I have to thank Reddit for that."

    http://www.modernprimate.com/so-i-got-banned-from-reddit/