HndsmKansan saidI think it depends on what you want and how serious you are. Clearly, a closeted person isn't going to make serious commitments in the near term
about who they are or what you may want or expect of them. Now, if you
don't want much, except perhaps sex and action "behind the scenes",
it probably isn't any issue.
The problem for most is.. this won't be a "real" relationship, meaning outward acknowledgement (doesn't matter if iit's just a friendship, fwb or loving relationship) if it is closeted. Now one can do it, but most probably wouldn't find it fulfilling.
Yes, you describe a relationship I had for 2 years. I really liked the guy. No, I loved him. But he couldn't acknowledge that, from me or any man, because it might blow his cover.
There was a whole laundry list of things he insisted I couldn't do with him in public, and words & phrases I couldn't use. Once I was even scolded for having followed him around the room with my eyes too intently, at a public reception we attended together. Well of course I followed you with my eyes, goddammit, I love you!
And the real irony was that I learned that almost everyone knew he was gay. Plus they knew I was his lover. But he maintained this fantasy that he had everyone fooled, that they all thought he was straight.
And as you note, no commitments from him were forthcoming. And that's when I moved away, finally coming here to Florida. I don't regret the time we had together, he was truly a great guy and a wonderful lover. But only in private, and I needed more than that. Those are the kinds of guys who are the most difficult to say goodbye to, yet to whom a goodbye is most needed.