CuriousJockAZ saidHe actually used those exact words..."I'll be voting against your civil rights"? Even if he were kidding, that probably wasn't the best choice of words to say to a friend who is gay. Regardless, you've been friends since 4th Grade. Surely, he didn't mean it quite as mean-spirited as it may have been taken. I assume you allow your friends to have their own opinion and vote however they choose and not make their vote all about YOU.
Yes, he used those words, though in a conversation he brought up which gave me the opportunity to explain to him the ramifications of his decisions. I don't believe he's out to oppress me expressly but I'm equally certain that he doesn't consider my welfare in his voting, because this scumbag world is so used to treating gay people as 2nd class citizens that it's just 2nd nature to him. I don't fault him that--consciousness ever evolves--though I do correct it as required. So of course he was just being a smart-ass but it still makes me uncomfortable accepting hospitality under these circumstances. Perhaps if it wasn't an election year: how sad & polarized a statement is that?
Because I do not want to wind up in a political discussion at 2 in the am with me having to then find a hotel room so I can rest comfortably. Part of hospitality is making your guests feel at home, safe.
I don't take it as mean spirited. I do take it as stupid and I will never choose to understand how especially a gay person could vote against their own human rights but also how any of my friends wouldn't support my civil right unconditionally. I find it to be hurtful. I wouldn't do such a thing to them. I would fight for them. They're my friends. So yes, I expect that they would fight for me and I am disappointed in them when they do not.
I manage to put a lot of that shit aside for the childhood friends who I've grandfathered in. And even through my 30s I made friends with republicans. My last best bud was one, a Hollywood guy closeted to the public still to this day in death. Though, none of them were ever quite as republican by the time I was done with them.
But I'm older now. Living 55 years as a second class citizen without my human rights endowed is wearing on me. I have less tolerance for this shit now than I did 20 years ago, or 40 years ago when very few knew I was gay.
I would not befriend someone new into my life who thinks like that now. I'll chat friendly in a civil way with someone who thinks like you online or in person but frankly--and I don't mean to be mean--I wouldn't want you in my life as long as you practice preaching what I find to be abominable. If my friends think that I ought to be treated as less than human, then have some honor, some integrity, and drop me as a friend. Don't string me along for old time's sake.
So yes, I would like for them to make their vote about me. Just as I would like for you to make your vote about you, about the you who lives without your own human rights endowed. As much as I abhor the idea that anyone gets to vote for my rights, my honor in them would be fully restored were they to do what they know is right for themelves to do: support dignity for me in my lifetime. They know I should have that. If I didn't believe they know that's the right thing to do, I wouldn't be their friend. But people don't always do the right thing. I know that too.