The irony of gays judging other gays....

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    Oct 25, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    charlitos saidIt's human nature. Just because we're gay doesn't mean intolerance and bigotry will completely vanish.


    this.
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    Oct 25, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    spgem saidThe irony of gays judging other gays....

    As if it's not bad enuf that straights judge us as freaks, we have to pass judgement on each other. It's stifling enuf how straight people judge our lifestyle as weird & deviant, why then wud we turn around & judge other gays as weird or less than other gays. Everyone has an opinion & a viewpoint. If we can't tolerate other gays in our community who has a certain viewpoint that we don't agree with, how do u expect straights to tolerate us as a whole? Does anyone see the irony within our gay community?


    I don't see any problem in the fact that people judge one another, it's all a matter of proportion and intent. There is a time and a place, and the extent that makes it productively effective. I differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism (criticism = judgement). How can people improve themselves or improve society if there's no judgement? What's particularly important are the tools used in knowing how and when to judge to make it effective and productive.

    No need to feel insulted, betrayed, or defied for being judged. If it's done well be thankful, if not the person's likely a douche.
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    Oct 25, 2012 4:57 PM GMT
    Have you ever viewed some of the political forum posts on how right leaning people are bashed for supporting a certain candidate?
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    Oct 25, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    to the OP


    enough*
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    Oct 25, 2012 5:03 PM GMT
    People not agreeing or getting along is not contigent on sexual orientation.

    The OP does not seem to think it is unusual for Straights to "judge" one another.

    BTW - the op is being judgemental by posting this thread. icon_wink.gif

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    Oct 25, 2012 5:51 PM GMT
    To ATXnative & Cash: This is what I mean. U get guys like these limiting & censoring an honest observation. Posturing to get the last word thinking their word is the end of discussion final valid say.
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    It's a silly notion: victims of judgement should be entirely accepting and understanding of everything and everyone?

    It's ironic that a judgmental gay is judgmentally judging gays for being judgmental. Did I read OP right?

    Tho...I can't stand catty queens throwing shade. "Ooh. Look at HER! Who dressed her tonight? Stevie Wonder???" "The buttons on his shirt are screaming for help."

    Hearing so much of that shit made me stop going out to bars.
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    I suspect gay guys do it because it makes them feel empowered, but I don't think it's a "gay" issue. Everyone judges.... it's a fact of life.
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    To n8698u: Twist it to ur heart's content....
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:42 PM GMT
    spgem saidTo ATXnative & Cash: This is what I mean. U get guys like these limiting & censoring an honest observation. Posturing to get the last word thinking their word is the end of discussion final valid say.


    I said 4 words, with the intention of you spelling enough rather than enuf. How did you gather all that from my 4 words? Don't victimize yourself, especially online.
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:51 PM GMT
    It's my prerogative to type the shorthand version. Ur nitpicking what's a given. Far from being a victim my dear. I posted the acute observation to make others question themselves. From the amount of views & response I think I did some good icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    before thinking of what we would do to others to make them better, let's first make sure they are not better than us. icon_exclaim.gif
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    BIG_N_TALL saidI suspect gay guys do it because it makes them feel empowered, but I don't think it's a "gay" issue. Everyone judges.... it's a fact of life.


    right.
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    Oct 25, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    spgem saidTo n8698u: Twist it to ur heart's content....


    Not twisting. It's pretty obvious.
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:02 PM GMT
    So ur judging fourth removed. It can go on & on & on.....
  • HottJoe

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    Oct 25, 2012 7:11 PM GMT
    jock_1 saidHave you ever viewed some of the political forum posts on how right leaning people are bashed for supporting a certain candidate?


    That's because "right leaning people" are selling out the gay community to anti gay politicians.icon_mad.gif
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    spgem saidSo ur judging fourth removed. It can go on & on & on.....


    Yes. We all judge. That's my point. It only goes on if you indulge in it.
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    I post a thread not to indulge but create an open discussion, hence a forum. Every thread is intended to get a response from whoever wants to respond. Shud we sit around & not post anything we think relevant for discussion, or only topics u deem worthy of discussion?
  • bfirbs

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    Oct 25, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    As rude as it can be to just anyone for anything, it does happen whether you like it or not. And gays judge other gays the same as str8's just gays AND other str8's.

    Saying it is bad for gays to judge other gays is like saying that because we are gay we should all get along and be friends. It isn't going to happen. If your reason for being friends with someone is based solely because they are gay also then you have no standards on your friendships. I consider myself fairly open minded but I've met plenty of gay men that I couldn't stand at all and yes I do judge them!

    For those people that say they don't judge, I don't believe it. You might not act on your judgements most of the time but in the back of your mind you are always judging. We all do it. Get over it
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    We gays can often have a mean streak which is due to an underlying thread of pain and loathing throughout our lives. Some mask it better than others
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:35 PM GMT
    spgem saidI post a thread not to indulge but create an open discussion, hence a forum. Every thread is intended to get a response from whoever wants to respond. Shud we sit around & not post anything we think relevant for discussion, or only topics u deem worthy of discussion?


    Thanks for clarifying the obvious. If you are going to start a thread open for discussion, don't be surprised if you get criticism. especially when it's gay critical, and hypocritical.
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    Buddy ur the first to clarify the obvious in ur first reply. I'm just pointing out how redundant u are.
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:52 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidThere's so much self hate buried below the beautiful surfaces of a lot of gay men that it's not shocking that they are also incredibly judgemental.

    I used to get really offended when guys would make catty remarks etc but then I stopped to think about where it came from. Also a lot of the time they don't even mean what they say when they judge you, it's just their defense mechanisms acting up.


    Honey says it rightfully! icon_wink.gif

    Its not solely to be weigh just Gay on Gays its in our typical human instinct.

    If we tear it down to the source of that irony it goes back to a sole Human let it be is a she or a he.
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    Oct 25, 2012 7:57 PM GMT
    charlitos saidIt's human nature. Just because we're gay doesn't mean intolerance and bigotry will completely vanish.


    they don't even slightly vanish.
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    Oct 25, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    As long as the eye can see, no one is judgement-free....People will formulate their opinions & be quick to judge regardless whether they're right or not, even if they haven't assimilated all the consequences of their views. It's human nature to judge. Just need to learn to breathe.....personify.....let things go.....You don't have to judge everything in sight.