What do you think are the gay communities biggest internal issues.

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    Oct 30, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
    ArtistLike saidIn some ways, gay men are even more conservative than the population at large. We are expected to be overachievers in terms of everything from personal appearance to career; it's overcompensation for having been too different when we were younger.

    And we must conform: short hair, broad shoulders, small waist, muscular, well groomed, well dressed, flawless skin.

    And then there are the prejudices--a very quick survey of online profiles reveals what should be shocking, but which generally goes unaddressed:

    -"No one over 30!" [Ageism]

    -"No fems!" [Homophobia]

    -"No fats!" [Looksism--let's not kid ourselves; this is not about health]

    -"Not into blacks or asians!" [Racism, and it's not negated by "sorry! just a preference!"];

    -"Be successful!" [Classism]

    -"Take care of yourself/be healthy!" [Coded language that invariably does not mean 'have an annual physical examination, eat and exercise in moderation,' but rather 'work out compulsively, have atypically low body fat,' etc.]

    And I notice several people have said HIV/AIDS is a major problem, but that's the effect, not the cause. The cause is (usually) unprotected sex, and it seems to me (again, based on online profiles I've seen every day since the mid-1990s) that "barebacking" is trendy. Back in the 90s/early 2000s, "PNP" and "Tina" were the scariest things I'd read on Manhunt, etc., and thankfully those have diminished in popularity, but now it seems a lot of people are "bb friendly," which is very troubling indeed.

    There is a pathological need to conform within the gay community that seems to be is freakishly similar to high school: within the overall stereotype, there are sub-stereotypes, and cliques are formed by these groups. "Real jock" is just one of them.

    I like this one as well! Nicely put
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6083

    Oct 30, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    ap1321 saidNew around here, guess I'm picking something a little heavy for a first post, but here it goes...

    Certainly, I think that depression and suicide are definitely some of the biggest things we need to address. But, these I also think are largely externally driven. Not to say that we can't do anything to help fix it...

    What I really have been noticing recently is the fracturing of the LGBT Community. For a long time, I thought that if we could just convince straight people that we were exactly the same as them (just liked different things), that we'd somehow "win" or something. But, recently, I've started to think that all of our attempts to blend in to "normal" culture actually end up hurting parts of the community. Sure, for those of us that are upper-middle class, white, traditionally gendered and "straight acting" this probably would work well. Unfortunately, if you don't fit the Modern Family/ New Normal model of what it is to be gay, it seems that you get 'double-marginalized.' It just seems to me that in a lot of ways, the LGBT community fights so hard assimilate into straight culture, that we often leave many out (trans, racial minorities, etc.). And, if the LGBT community isn't inclusive, where do these people fit in?

    I can't pretend I have all the answers, just something I've been thinking about a lot recently.

    Sorry for the heavy first post... I'm not usually so morose I swear...

    Nice first post, IMO. Thoughtful. Articulate. I wouldn't call it "morose". One more point to consider among many good ones in this thread.