Are gays drama?

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    Oct 30, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    Could it be that some of the drama stems from situations where there is unrequited interest?

    One person is expecting the other to show them increasing amounts of attention in hopes that it will validate a connection between them.

    Could be one possibility.
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    Oct 31, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    There are definitely drama queens amongst us and sometimes they can be funny. In the end, we all need to grow up and get on with our lives.

    Focus on your loyal and real friends.
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    Oct 31, 2012 2:29 AM GMT
    I totally feel for the OP. Could have made the first post myself. Hell, I did. I've several good gay friends, but with others it's been impossible to keep a friendship. I just had a friendship implode tonight. The friend in question was someone I briefly dated. But when he got in a bad mood, he got so bitch and said some of the most vindictive things. Even now, though I'm hurting for the sudden imploding of the friendship, I still care about him and can't believe some of the unfounded things he said. Never in my life have I come across someone so hypersensitive... where anything I said, or any action I took, was misconstrued as me being a terrible, immature person.

    I guess in the long run I will see that the friendship wasn't to be. But, man, some gay guys sure love drama. My ex-friend created a hurricane all of its own inside this apartment this past weekend and wash me out of his life with it. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 31, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    yes
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    Oct 31, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    Gays are lots of things. Horror, Drama, Fiction, Sci-Fi..especially Fiction and Drama.
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    Oct 31, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    Human beings are dramatic, period. icon_biggrin.gif Such is life.

    OP: This is not in any shape or form a sling to you but more of something that is personal to me and only me. So, don't take this post below as me being PA or somehow underwriting you. If anything, I only speak in terms of my own personal experience and a very recent one, to add. :/ So apologies if you're getting the shit end of this. icon_neutral.gif

    Personally, I have no life right now outside of being on the computer but hey, I freely admit. icon_biggrin.gif I also admit the fact that I hate when someone drops the ball and doesn't respond or have the decency to notify their lack of interest or send a quick text saying, "Sorry, can't make it like I thought. Explain later. "

    It sucks that things don't go through. :/ Sucks even more when a person can't follow through. Takes less than 10 willful seconds to inform a person that something is or is not going to happen. If a person can go drink some water, pee, wank, they could certainly be responsible enough to say, "Hey, can't make it." Tell me what, and if possible, why. If you don't, I'm not really going to take the said person than anything more but a whimsical flake who visits, optionally. It's lackadaisical and carefree, quite frankly makes me believe a person doesn't seem to care.

    Don't get me wrong: Intentions DO matter-- even if a person really WANTS to visit me-- but it isn't enough. Either a person can visit or they cannot. If one cannot, say you cannot. Don't leave a person guessing the day of.

    Communication is easier these days yet people still people drop the ball. -_- I just believe though that unless it's a crisis or something, a person should be able to reply back especially when they are at leisure and are not preoccupied. In your situation with friends, I, personally, would understand so long as you told me you were still up for our said planned get together OR not. I'd like to know before the day of unless tragedy/calamity strikes-- and there are times which it does.

    I guess I've too much of the other kind of crap, of being stood up so I'm kinda hardball about it now. I've always been a bit of a planner, even if I am free and have absolutely NOTHING better to do than to stare at the wall, literally. I still like to know beforehand if something is or is not happening. I'm flexible, and lenient but to a point. I need to know what's happening so I can prep.

    Those are just my thoughts though. :3

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    Oct 31, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    Does a zebra have stripes?
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    Oct 31, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    Next to x-parent loyalty, in a few choice words...YES.

    One experience I had, one guy who turned out to be a real bitchy attention-seeking queen was the prime example. He tried to use me in every which way he could, right down to doing whatever he thought he wanted to in my place, right down to my car...you name it, he tried to have his way or it was the highway & the sad part was, he didn't PAY ANY BILLS! He complained sbout what he didn't have but just sat on his broke ass while I worked & expected me to support his habits. When I wasn't gonna do by him, well, news flash to me was there was an ex- on the side he was running to. So to make the story short, he went back to his ex- & became his headache all over again; hell, he tried to rope me in as #2 & I wasn't with it. Where I come from, it's National Text Your Ex Day & in order for me to think about him, I would have to care about him. Not an ex-, just Another Lesson Learned...

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    Oct 31, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    One thing I've observed is that guys who often complain about drama are also often oblivious to their contribution to the drama they seem to always bump into. I say that because I was one of those guys who invited "drama". I've been told I'm pretty masculine and that sometimes results in me not being responsive enough to other people. Aloof, cool, distant, unshaken also.

    What I thought was interesting in your post was that you don't really acknowledge the problem... that you left your gay buddy hanging and you didn't seem to feel bad about it. That isn't a gay thing, or a drama thing. It's a "he realized that you probably don't really care for him all that much and now he's both upset and hurt". If you cared, you could've easily just said, "I'm sorry man, I'm really sorry". That's what friends do. I bet you likely treat your straight buds with a little more respect than you do your gay friends. Maybe your straight buds leave you hanging sometimes too and so you think its the norm in friendship. Good communication is the norm in a healthy friendship, gay or straight. Start there and you'll have 50% less drama.
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    Oct 31, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    Myol saidOne thing I've observed is that guys who often complain about drama are also often oblivious to their contribution to the drama they seem to always bump into. I say that because I was one of those guys who invited "drama". I've been told I'm pretty masculine and that sometimes results in me not being responsive enough to other people. Aloof, cool, distant, unshaken also.

    What I thought was interesting in your post was that you don't really acknowledge the problem... that you left your gay buddy hanging and you didn't seem to feel bad about it. That isn't a gay thing, or a drama thing. It's a "he realized that you probably don't really care for him all that much and now he's both upset and hurt". If you cared, you could've easily just said, "I'm sorry man, I'm really sorry". That's what friends do. I bet you likely treat your straight buds with a little more respect than you do your gay friends. Maybe your straight buds leave you hanging sometimes too and so you think its the norm in friendship. Good communication is the norm in a healthy friendship, gay or straight. Start there and you'll have 50% less drama.


    I agree with what you said here for the most part EXCEPT-- I don't think masculinity is cold/aloof/distant/unshaken, per se. There are women who can be as detached (if not more) withdrawn. Then you have the gregarious clown men who like to make others smile. It's all about attitude. icon_smile.gif

    Although here's a point I think where you and I both agree: True Masculinity (or really having any sense of integrity) means taking ownership of one's actions and taking responsibility. If you can't do that much, you're not really "manly". icon_neutral.gif Hence why I find these Sir Butch-a-lots to be just as big of bitches. +D
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    Oct 31, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    Trust me, I definitely agree that those don't define masculinity, but they are masculine traits for sure when people do basic word associations around stereotypical differences between men and women. That is to say women who carry these traits are not seen as feminine girly girls and instead are seen as androgynous, ball busting, barren, etc. However if a guy has these traits, those traits alone would not make him seem less masculine. Hope this makes sense.

    ParadiseLost said
    Myol saidOne thing I've observed is that guys who often complain about drama are also often oblivious to their contribution to the drama they seem to always bump into. I say that because I was one of those guys who invited "drama". I've been told I'm pretty masculine and that sometimes results in me not being responsive enough to other people. Aloof, cool, distant, unshaken also.

    What I thought was interesting in your post was that you don't really acknowledge the problem... that you left your gay buddy hanging and you didn't seem to feel bad about it. That isn't a gay thing, or a drama thing. It's a "he realized that you probably don't really care for him all that much and now he's both upset and hurt". If you cared, you could've easily just said, "I'm sorry man, I'm really sorry". That's what friends do. I bet you likely treat your straight buds with a little more respect than you do your gay friends. Maybe your straight buds leave you hanging sometimes too and so you think its the norm in friendship. Good communication is the norm in a healthy friendship, gay or straight. Start there and you'll have 50% less drama.


    I agree with what you said here for the most part EXCEPT-- I don't think masculinity is cold/aloof/distant/unshaken, per se. There are women who can be as detached (if not more) withdrawn. Then you have the gregarious clown men who like to make others smile. It's all about attitude. icon_smile.gif

    Although here's a point I think where you and I both agree: True Masculinity (or really having any sense of integrity) means taking ownership of one's actions and taking responsibility. If you can't do that much, you're not really "manly". icon_neutral.gif Hence why I find these Sir Butch-a-lots to be just as big of bitches. +D
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    Oct 31, 2012 7:05 AM GMT
    Myol saidTrust me, I definitely agree that those don't define masculinity, but they are masculine traits for sure when people do basic word associations around stereotypical differences between men and women. That is to say women who carry these traits are not seen as feminine girly girls and instead are seen as androgynous, ball busting, barren, etc. However if a guy has these traits, those traits alone would not make him seem less masculine. Hope this makes sense.

    ParadiseLost said
    Myol saidOne thing I've observed is that guys who often complain about drama are also often oblivious to their contribution to the drama they seem to always bump into. I say that because I was one of those guys who invited "drama". I've been told I'm pretty masculine and that sometimes results in me not being responsive enough to other people. Aloof, cool, distant, unshaken also.

    What I thought was interesting in your post was that you don't really acknowledge the problem... that you left your gay buddy hanging and you didn't seem to feel bad about it. That isn't a gay thing, or a drama thing. It's a "he realized that you probably don't really care for him all that much and now he's both upset and hurt". If you cared, you could've easily just said, "I'm sorry man, I'm really sorry". That's what friends do. I bet you likely treat your straight buds with a little more respect than you do your gay friends. Maybe your straight buds leave you hanging sometimes too and so you think its the norm in friendship. Good communication is the norm in a healthy friendship, gay or straight. Start there and you'll have 50% less drama.


    I agree with what you said here for the most part EXCEPT-- I don't think masculinity is cold/aloof/distant/unshaken, per se. There are women who can be as detached (if not more) withdrawn. Then you have the gregarious clown men who like to make others smile. It's all about attitude. icon_smile.gif

    Although here's a point I think where you and I both agree: True Masculinity (or really having any sense of integrity) means taking ownership of one's actions and taking responsibility. If you can't do that much, you're not really "manly". icon_neutral.gif Hence why I find these Sir Butch-a-lots to be just as big of bitches. +D


    Thanks for all the replies!

    Well I severely shortened down the conversation obviously for readability.
    But I originally started with an apology if I had upset him.

    Stuttershock saidCould it be that some of the drama stems from situations where there is unrequited interest?

    One person is expecting the other to show them increasing amounts of attention in hopes that it will validate a connection between them.

    Could be one possibility.


    This I think is a pretty good point because prior he was making a fair few advances at me, he isn't my type so he didn't get anywhere. But I was hoping since he is about 10 year older than me, he would be open to being friends.
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    Oct 31, 2012 7:07 AM GMT
    Some have, "get out of jail cards", for worse than drama...
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    Oct 31, 2012 7:09 AM GMT


    If he is a handsome gay men in him he is no drama!
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    Oct 31, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    I thought gay men thrived due to drama...like a life source....and glitter.