To gay men 40+ who were considered "very hot" in their 20's -- Did your life change as you gradually got older?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    Life for me has been every bit as good in my present years as it was in my twenties - - even better. I don't have that 'deer-in-the-headlights' boyish look I once had, but instead I have a wiser and more confident look now - the kind that comes from a life well lived.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:13 PM GMT
    The OP sounds like he has some very narrow ideas about what makes a person attractive. If you consider "young" to be synonymous with "hot", then having a conversation about attraction is a lost cause. It's really no different than the married business man who foams at the mouth every time a teenage girl walks by.

    I'd post some photos of me when I was 20 years old, but I'd be laughed off the board. I'm much happier with myself (and my appearance) now than back then.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Nov 10, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    It would appear that Cash has taken my non-specific, general observations and comments somewhat ...... personally icon_question.gif
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Nov 10, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    I think I'm getting hotter every year. I was a hot teenager, but somewhere in my late 20's my weight got out of hand (it didn't stop me from getting any attention) and I was sick of looking fat. I been on a quest for physical improvement ever since, and it's working we'll for me. I want to be at my hottest at 40. Do u think I can make it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    "Since I wasn't brave enough to be blunt and ask those guys in the club directly, I thought I'd ask here. For you guys in your 40's, 50's, and 60's -- Do you feel like your life, at least mentally speaking, totally changed when you realized you weren't as attractive as you once were? Do you think it was a good thing or bad thing for you?"

    Attractiveness is relative. Because one is their 40s, 50s or 60s does not mean they are less or not attractive. There are plenty of guys in their 40s, 50s and 60s on RJ who are hot, know it but try to play it down.

    I'm not sure what kind of change you mean. Do you mean loss of self worth, identity? I suppose that would happen if one believed their looks were the only thing they had to offer. I suppose that could happen, but...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    RedWhiteBlue saidpretty people are generally lazy fucks because they've never HAD to sweat

    so....i've never gone for pretty people

    and never considered myself one

    being photogenic isn't the same. it's only useful if you want to eyefuck a camera, not a person.

    sweat. put your back into it, let your gut hang out and men will call back. except photographers...they don't like guts that much


    angry much "bro"???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    rnch saidIt would appear that Cash has taken my non-specific, general observations and comments somewhat ...... personally icon_question.gif


    NO

    I made a statement.

    I think Your generalizions perpetueate the mythe in our COMMUNITY that age is rellevant.

    TRUST ME DUDE -- it aint a issue for Me.

    But it IS an issue for aLOT of Guys.

    And YOUR attitude is part of the reason.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:26 PM GMT
    I know guys who were in their 20's that have stayed hot well into their 40's, 50's & 60's! They just come from good stock I guess. Some are just lucky. They won the gene pool lottery & will always be what the majority of people find physically hot at any age. For the rest of us......maybe in the next life....... icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    Why, practically overnight, the line of gentleman callers seemed to evaporate outside the Lucienne Beaudry Hotel. Quite frankly, ah am still perplexed...


    icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    Obviously I have no personal experience, but I've observed the people I went to high school with. Perhaps one in ten or so hot guys are still in decent shape after 30 years, and those were lean slender guys who went on to college. The super-hot guys who had big muscle definition as teens all seem to have gotten fat by the time they were thirty. I lean toward the theory that those "born with it" guys never developed any sort of discipline or resistance to junk food marketing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidObviously I have no personal experience, but I've observed the people I went to high school with. Perhaps one in ten or so hot guys are still in decent shape after 30 years, and those were lean slender guys who went on to college. The super-hot guys who had big muscle definition as teens all seem to have gotten fat by the time they were thirty. I lean toward the theory that those "born with it" guys never developed any sort of discipline or resistance to junk food marketing.


    You

    CAN

    change YER BODY
    whenever

    YOU WANT

    I didn't have visibale abs UNTIL 40

    so
    take THAT.

    icon_biggrin.gif



    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    Story of my life
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:55 PM GMT
    I think Your generalizions perpetueate the mythe in our COMMUNITY that age is rellevant.

    TRUST ME DUDE -- it aint a issue for Me.


    Cash, it is not relevant, or an issue for you. You work very hard to make sure you keep fit, trim and hot. Your physique is very much a part of who you are. Your experience doesn't apply to all older guys.

    I don't think older men are imagining getting ignored or worse. Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:58 PM GMT
    Cash saidA few Guys thought I was Hot in My 20's.

    A few think I am Hot in My 40's.

    Imma hangin' in there...

    Ain't NOTHING to be afraid of Guys!!!


    tseems you're getting gradually hotter... and hotter...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    I was not very attractive in my early 20's. I think it wasn't until I was 26 that I started feeling attractive and that I got hit on my men and women.
  • papayachalice

    Posts: 58

    Nov 10, 2012 6:19 PM GMT
    ah, sorry. I thought your comment is on rnch

    Cash said
    papayachalice said
    Cash said
    papayachalice said
    Cash said
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.


    Sorry.

    I realize You re a pretty decent Guy.

    BUT

    Those "bois" are not the problem.

    It

    IS

    YOU

    being angry because You feel like You can't compete with them.

    UNTIL You realize it is not a competition -- YOU are the TRUE problem.


    Can I say:
    this is too mean!


    NO it isn't.

    Hating someone because You think they are moar attractive than You - a completely arbitrary belief that can not POSSBILY be measured or qualified - is STUPID.

    Period.




    This is not hating. Not everyone is in competing mode.
    Younger guys have good appearance. Older guys have good life experience. There is no reason someone has to compete with others. Especially being commented as hot is not better than being commented as smart, or nice


    so we agree???

    why am I mean then???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    I got much better with age, I am not talking physically so much, but more evolved, accepting, kind, loving, a bit humble believe or not, and actually more of a calculated risk-taker!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 6:47 PM GMT
    Maybe its just me but this question is essentially "leading the witness". You're asking: "now that your old, and therefore no longer hot based on my perceptions of hot, how have you adjusted your life?"



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    TotalTopJock saidI was not very attractive in my early 20's. I think it wasn't until I was 26 that I started feeling attractive and that I got hit on my men and women.


    Well you are attractive now! By a long shot!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 6:51 PM GMT
    Myol saidMaybe its just me but this question is essentially "leading the witness". You're asking: "now that your old, and therefore no longer hot based on my perceptions of hot, how have you adjusted your life?"





    Dingdingding

    We have a winna!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 10, 2012 7:00 PM GMT
    TotalTopJock saidI was not very attractive in my early 20's. I think it wasn't until I was 26 that I started feeling attractive and that I got hit on my men and women.


    Whatever you're doing, it's WORKING!!!icon_razz.gif
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Nov 10, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    What an interesting forum topic...and responses for that matter...

    I've never paid too much mind to what "category" I fell into as I was not a looker in high school and that feeling always permeated throughout the following years...I do realize I generally have good genes from my parents...and have tried to maintain what I have...

    That being said, of course getting older changes things...like I don't really care if someone thinks I am "hot" or not...and I find personalities make people sexy more often then their looks...what you do for others makes you more interesting than your photos on facebook...and whether you use the gifts nature gave you for "good" or "bad" makes a bigger impression than what you know or what you say or how much you earn or what you own and wear...

    I have a stronger relationship with myself...greater confidence in the path I chose...accepting of those mistakes which brought valuable lessons...and learned to be excited about the opportunity to try and fail...and found judgment has few rewards...

    For every person that no longer takes a glance, I find a new person pays attention in some way, and if I want to meet someone I don't wait for it to happen...I go over and introduce myself...

    Yes, life changes as I have gradually gotten older...

    - David icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 7:11 PM GMT
    Cash said
    mindgarden saidObviously I have no personal experience, but I've observed the people I went to high school with. Perhaps one in ten or so hot guys are still in decent shape after 30 years, and those were lean slender guys who went on to college. The super-hot guys who had big muscle definition as teens all seem to have gotten fat by the time they were thirty. I lean toward the theory that those "born with it" guys never developed any sort of discipline or resistance to junk food marketing.


    You

    CAN

    change YER BODY
    whenever

    YOU WANT

    I didn't have visibale abs UNTIL 40

    so
    take THAT.

    icon_biggrin.gif



    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif



    Cash has great abs. icon_cool.gif

    Wish I had his discipline. But back to topic - I never considered myself really hot. I think I looked ok when I was younger and ok now - but never where I was going to be able to rely on my looks for things. I do find as I get older that I don't get as much attention as when I was younger though. For example, I don't get things comped any more as happened occasionally when I was younger. That's OK, I can afford to pay my own way! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 7:16 PM GMT
    Oh Of course my mind and looks changed as I got older. Now, in my mid 40's I feel pretty good and seem to have a more grounded outlook in life.
    In my twenties, I didn't quite know which direction I wanted to head in and was only thinking of going out.

    SO, I believe I look better now than then!

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 10, 2012 7:17 PM GMT
    I just keep getting better. At this rate when I hit 40 (in about 3 years), life should be really fun! icon_twisted.gif