To gay men 40+ who were considered "very hot" in their 20's -- Did your life change as you gradually got older?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    When I was in my early 20's and late teens I always thought that when I reached the age I am now (29) my life would be over, that I would be undesirable, old, has been, and that I better have all the sex I could as much as possible because it will dry up.

    Now, I find that I am actually much better looking, more attractive, and have more guys attracted to me than I was at that age. I do look in the mirror and am actually very excited by how good looking I am. And I'm sure that as I get older, even into my 50s, I will still be thinking the same thing, but that I will still feel that "Once I get to *that* age.." my life will be over. Well, it won't, and it hasn't.
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    Nov 10, 2012 8:28 PM GMT
    I have found, on this website and in life, that people generalize "hot" with a body more than a face. I see profiles of men with average bodies and gorgeous faces who have minimal glowing comments under their pics and I see pics of tight, toned bodies with no faces (and sometimes not even necks or heads) getting a string of compliments regarding their level of hotness. It seems that the degree of hot is inversely proportional to body fat percentage.

    Starting at 30 I began rotating workouts. 90 days of P90X, 90 days with a trainer, 90 days of working out with friends, and back to 90 days of P90X. My husband was 19 when we meet and I was 32. Now he's 24 and finally finishing his Bachelor's Degree. When his study partners (male and female) come over to the house, one of them always comments that Matt "is so lucky 'cause he married the hot older guy". As long as my husband loves me nothing else is important but if I'm being perfectly honest then I have to admit, it is an ego boost at 37 to have a group of college upperclassmen using the word hot to describe me. Even if they used the word older too.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Nov 10, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    Cash said
    rnch saidIt would appear that Cash has taken my non-specific, general observations and comments somewhat ...... personally icon_question.gif


    NO

    I made a statement.

    I think Your generalizions perpetueate the mythe in our COMMUNITY that age is rellevant.

    TRUST ME DUDE -- it aint a issue for Me.

    But it IS an issue for aLOT of Guys.

    And YOUR attitude is part of the reason.





    If Anyone on this thread is displaying an "Attitude", it is You, Cash.



    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidIt would appear that Cash has taken my non-specific, general observations and comments somewhat ...... personally icon_question.gif


    NO

    I made a statement.

    I think Your generalizions perpetueate the mythe in our COMMUNITY that age is rellevant.

    TRUST ME DUDE -- it aint a issue for Me.

    But it IS an issue for aLOT of Guys.

    And YOUR attitude is part of the reason.





    If Anyone on this thread is displaying an "Attitude", it is You, Cash.



    icon_lol.gif


    cool

    just drop it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 10:30 PM GMT
    I would never describe myself as hot but I think I do look better now then in my 20's as I've alsways trained and done a ot of sport. I can way more attention now when I go out.... but of course, only because guys want sex with me!!
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1344

    Nov 10, 2012 10:42 PM GMT
    If you're in your 20's and not attractive, no one your age will want you. By the time you hit your 40's the hot ones lose some of their youthful beauty and the playing field is more even, since anyone can work out to get a decent body. Plus scruff looks ok on just about any guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    whytehot saidIf you're in your 20's and not attractive, no one your age will want you. By the time you hit your 40's the hot ones lose some of their youthful beauty and the playing field is more even, since anyone can work out to get a decent body. Scruff looks ok on just about any guy.


    Yeah right! LOL.... that's total bollocks!
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    Nov 10, 2012 10:50 PM GMT
    Just_Tim saidMost, if not all, guys get better looking with age. I think guys in their 30's, 40's and 50's are WAY hotter than the 20-somethings.



    I agree 100% I am way way better looking than when I was in my twenty's with my geek glasses...I am a fitness model who would have thought...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 10:58 PM GMT
    what if you are still hot in your 40sicon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 11:28 PM GMT
    Very interesting question. Thanks for the posting dude. I'm looking fwd to seeing more replies for these 40+ guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 11:32 PM GMT
    People tell me I am better looking now (41) than when I was 21. And I am def in better shape now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 11:42 PM GMT
    "BEAUTY IS MY POWWAAA"-Queen Ravenna from snow white

    I often wonder what my life will be like when I'm older, hopefully partnered with someone amazing inside and out. I never really gave it much thought until I was approached by this decent looking 50 year old guy at a bar this summer, he kept telling me repeatedly how he use to be me n yada yada yada. He talked as if his younger years were the highlight of his life. It was kinda depressing icon_sad.gif . There's so much more to life than your looks.
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    I think this says it all... and it's my 100th post so I'm glad it has such meaning....







  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    These are the best years of my life so far. Being in my 50's I don't have to try everything to figure out what I am. That being said, life at any age is a work in progress and a journey. If you are not feelin it, you make adjustments to get somewhere else. It is constant change and tuning. I am in the best health and shape of my life. And I still take risks, but just not stupid ones after learning the hard way. I have done many adventures in my life, and continue to do so. Youth is great and fun, but the discovery does not stop after 30, it gets better!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:19 AM GMT
    Personally I don't look at guys in their 20s usually. I find guys in their 30s, 40s the best looking. 50s the looks start to fade but the maturity and the sex appeal is there in many cases. I've seen guys in their 60s that have great sex appeal. It all depends on your type though.
  • uncgymguy

    Posts: 27

    Nov 11, 2012 7:20 AM GMT
    I didn't come out until I was 40. I was told that I was "over the hill" and no one would be interested in me. Since I lived in a college town, UNC Chapel Hill and Duke, in NC, the majority of guys were younger than me.

    I found that some were opposed to going out with an older guy, but the closeted ones felt safer with an older guy (mainly because they wouldn't run into them on campus).

    I think it's all about the attitude of the older guy. How he handles himself, and by staying in shape and being active. I have heard from younger guys on here that they feel comfortable chatting with me because I'm not trying to get into their pants. That being said, if an ex hottie from his 20's grows older thinking he still has the world at its feet, I think that can be a problem.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:31 AM GMT
    I appreciate the replies guys, I read every single post. I'm just glad that there is no 'gay death' at 30 or whatever, and that I've just been programmed to think that way.

    uncgymguy saidI didn't come out until I was 40. I was told that I was "over the hill" and no one would be interested in me. Since I lived in a college town, UNC Chapel Hill and Duke, in NC, the majority of guys were younger than me.

    I found that some were opposed to going out with an older guy, but the closeted ones felt safer with an older guy (mainly because they wouldn't run into them on campus).

    I think it's all about the attitude of the older guy. How he handles himself, and by staying in shape and being active. I have heard from younger guys on here that they feel comfortable chatting with me because I'm not trying to get into their pants. That being said, if an ex hottie from his 20's grows older thinking he still has the world at its feet, I think that can be a problem.


    Just wanted to say you are the hottest 53 year old ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:44 AM GMT
    30_something said
    calibro saidsorry troll op, this question doesn't involve you because you have to be hot and not a troll to begin with for you to age into uggs. you'll just be a young troll who turns into an older troll.


    +1

    What kind of stupid question is that? icon_rolleyes.gif


    LOL. I don't even have a clue what this boy is talking about with this "troll" stuff. Damn, this sounds like Chinese or something to me. Is he speaking English?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:47 AM GMT
    My understanding is that it's all natural, and when older men resist moving into the next 'season' of their lives, they remain stuck in the cycle or program that they were living in at an earlier time. I appreciate the maturation of men, and believe that their sexual energies change, transform, and mature - when they don't willingly go through this, though, it's probably painful...
    I'm 18, and my confidence comes from a spiritual awareness, not the temporal physical, but I know that accepting and loving yourself on all levels is of vital importance to your well-being. ATTITUDE is a prominent piece of the recipe...I'm personally just discovering how others perceive me - it's interesting.
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:01 AM GMT
    Neight said
    Just_Tim said
    Whoa! You're not even 20 yet?

    I've been less-than-20 for a while. 19 years, to be exact.

    Just goes to prove that time heals everything.
    Hang in there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:32 AM GMT
    I've been an Asian all my life. I was never hot, never was, never have been, never will be. This whole thread makes me laugh.....and even envious....
    8b1027d10b7f3f5fbaec4c01118773bb.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:35 AM GMT
    Cash saidA few Guys thought I was Hot in My 20's.

    A few think I am Hot in My 40's.

    Imma hangin' in there...

    Ain't NOTHING to be afraid of Guys!!!


    I never saw you in your 20s, all I know is You're
    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Right Now!
    icon_cool.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11422

    Nov 11, 2012 8:51 AM GMT
    Dathaniel saidMy understanding is that it's all natural, and when older men resist moving into the next 'season' of their lives, they remain stuck in the cycle or program that they were living in at an earlier time. I appreciate the maturation of men, and believe that their sexual energies change, transform, and mature - when they don't willingly go through this, though, it's probably painful...
    I'm 18, and my confidence comes from a spiritual awareness, not the temporal physical, but I know that accepting and loving yourself on all levels is of vital importance to your well-being. ATTITUDE is a prominent piece of the recipe...I'm personally just discovering how others perceive me - it's interesting.

    Well, said. When I was in my 20's these old guys like maybe 40's and 50's would come out to the bars and they would always try fitting in with the younger guys. And they usually had a lot of younger guys that would hang around with them, but I couldn't help but wonder if they would be if the older guy wasn't pay for the drinks and drugs (yes I said drugs). And a lot of those old guys ended up going down a bad road which they usually did not recover from. Anyways, I just always thought to myself, God I hope I'm not like that when I'm their age. What I was hoping was that I would settle down a bit and not always have to be in the lime light. For me it is important to enjoy every age I'm in and move on passed the past and learn from the past and get a little wiser and accept my maturity as a badge of honor ... I earned it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:57 AM GMT
    Well I just turned 31 (having he Asian genes), most people are shocked when I told them my real age, I appear like my mid early 20s. This one Latin couples in L.A. thought I was 21 about 2 weeks ago at a club and some of the bouncers at the club still want to check/card my I.D. During my early to late 20s, I'd say I have a bout average/above average game with guys, but not super hot lol. Now I am a little older, more guys come up and talk to me including some young 19 yo ones. I think my forehead lines make me look a little more matured. As far as older guys concern in their 40s, I think most of them look great/hot (on this site). So no hating there.

    The other thing I should point out is - beauty/youth, everyone has it and was *a HOT young thing* at one point in their life. Once you get older, one should assume that you're more responsible and matured and maybe settled down with a husband. There will always be hotter and cuter guys than you, why all the hate but to celebrate our differences. Generally speaking, lots of younger guys need to *Find themselves anyway, so if you want a serious matured husband, marry and settled down with a more *Matured/Older guy.

    As for my personal taste, I usually like men in their 30s and early 40s and some late 20s. I do think that men are like fine wine, they age/look better with as time goes by.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 9:01 AM GMT
    I think men just seem to get better with age...