To gay men 40+ who were considered "very hot" in their 20's -- Did your life change as you gradually got older?

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    Nov 11, 2012 9:07 AM GMT
    Not_Superman said
    Just_Tim saidMost, if not all, guys get better looking with age. I think guys in their 30's, 40's and 50's are WAY hotter than the 20-somethings.

    I'm counting on this to be true.

    Moneyback guarantee?

    Thing is, not necessarily the same people will find you attractive.

    On the other hand, a peer who hit on me 20 years ago was hitting on me the other night.
    And then there was this 21 year old who was barely alive back then.

    Heh. I wonder. The people who were 40ish when I was 20ish and who now are 60ish... do they still think I'm hot now?
  • dms_windsor

    Posts: 13

    Nov 11, 2012 9:42 AM GMT
    i'm not sure whether it's that i have improved in the looks department or financial, but seem to be more popular than ever, lol
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    Nov 11, 2012 10:02 AM GMT
    I just turned 50 and life is awesome.

    Have you read The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde?
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    Nov 11, 2012 10:49 AM GMT
    Life changes for everyone , but if you take care of yourself you age nicely.
    I never considered myself "very hot" but I was always told I was good looking since I was 3 years old... in twink-ish way. I was 5.9" and around 140 lb for most of my life(thin but athletic). Just in my late 30 I managed to get to 150.
    Personality wise, always the same .. on the shy side.

    I'm replying to this topic because the people that are saying we never had to work on our personalities, are just misguided.







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    Nov 11, 2012 10:49 AM GMT
    I recently turned 27 but have always felt like 102, so for me age isn't an issue, it's more of a mindset. Who cares if guys think you're hot if you think you're hot? Beauty is subjective and we all die eventually, so the physical only last so long to begin with. Just have a good time and use a condom, kids.
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    Nov 11, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    Some observations from another 40 something..

    I think its likely that 'very hot' has different meanings, especially used to describe men in different phases of their life.

    A very hot 20 year old is undoubtedly a twink to some guys, a muscle pup to others and many, many other things - is likely that a streak of grey hair, or greying temples isn't in that equation for those guys.

    A very hot 40 something posesses many of the same qualities as one in his 20's or 30's - but most likely looks after himself better than many men his age, whether that be fitness wise, keeping the wrinkles at bay or dress sense.

    Many things take their toll on hotness and self confidence as we age - being smiled at by guys turns to being looked through.. its the queer equivalent of survival of the fittest...

    You can see why it becomes an imperative to couple up and get away from the bar scene, somewhere hotness and judgement isn't so important - even the hottest guys probably tire of being judged..

    Funny thing for me, was I wasn't all that special then, but since I'm now well preserved and in pretty good shape, I'm told I'm hot now.. *shakes head* funny old world isn't it ;)

    PS.. Cash - You're Hot.
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    Nov 11, 2012 12:28 PM GMT
    obviously there is no such thing as life after 40 for a gay man-didn't you get the pamphlet?
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    Nov 11, 2012 12:34 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Smegmatron said[/cite]I've been an Asian all my life. I was never hot, never was, never have been, never will be. This whole thread makes me laugh.....and even envious....


    Ho, LAWD!
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    Nov 11, 2012 12:40 PM GMT
    I wasn't attractive in my 20's and I'm not attractive now, so it really doesn't matter. What does matter, though, is that I enjoy my life a million times more now than I did in my 20's. I find life more fulfilling now than I did then.
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    Nov 11, 2012 12:45 PM GMT
    snowman3 saidI wasn't attractive in my 20's and I'm not attractive now, so it really doesn't matter. What does matter, though, is that I enjoy my life a million times more now than I did in my 20's. I find life more fulfilling now than I did then.


    Bollucks! Lies, nothing but pure lies.

    Who said you weren't attractive - imma kick they ass!!! icon_evil.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    Im glad im not the person I was in my 20s, I was one arrogant , selfish, self centred hot head, i was very materialistic, had to be at all the in places with all the in people, had a great time, now im happy with simple stuff, i have no angst about looks or acceptance, i train because i love it, its my passion, my sport, everyone should have a blast when their younger, live life for themselves and not focus on looks, you will have a better time and people will love who you are not what you crave to be.
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Nov 11, 2012 1:18 PM GMT
    I was thinking about this earlier tonight. There is one guy who is clearly not having an easy time cruising into his 30's. He was truly one of those "head turners" a couple years ago, but the tanning has started to take effect. The jowls are slowly creeping down and the age lines are appearing while the hair is disappearing. I hadn't been home in a few months and I literally didn't recognize him.

    My only interaction was him rudely blocking me on Grindr when I sent him a pic but a few of my friends have described him using phrases such as "attention whore" and "playa."

    I don't feel bad for him honestly. Welcome to average-ville. Population: you.
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    Nov 11, 2012 1:19 PM GMT
    I'm not getting older. I'm just caring less & less as to where & when I break wind.
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    Nov 11, 2012 2:11 PM GMT
    StevieB0402 saidI have found, on this website and in life, that people generalize "hot" with a body more than a face. I see profiles of men with average bodies and gorgeous faces who have minimal glowing comments under their pics and I see pics of tight, toned bodies with no faces (and sometimes not even necks or heads) getting a string of compliments regarding their level of hotness.

    I like a nice bod to go with that face, but the face is definitely the first thing I look at and for.
    I suppose that may be just a different part of the "gene pool lottery" (as someone else said) but it's much more subjective.
    Or rather, many more pigeon holes than there are for body types.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Nov 11, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    wellwell saidI'm not getting older. I'm just caring less & less as to where & when I break wind.






    icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 7:58 PM GMT
    No, because I never hung out in rooms to be fawned over.
  • wild_sky360

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    Nov 11, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    I've always been solidly in the average category. But my perception, my self image, is that I feel more attractive / sexier now than I ever did in my 20's.

    My friends at the time though, were the head turners, always the center of attention. One in particular is suffering the exact crisis now that the OP is polling us on. In his case, he'd still have it going on now if he hadn't smoked / continued to smoke, for the last 25 years and essentially giving up about 5 years ago. I'm trying hard to convince him that every waking moment is another chance to turn it all around.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 4082

    Nov 11, 2012 8:37 PM GMT
    spgem saidI know guys who were in their 20's that have stayed hot well into their 40's, 50's & 60's! They just come from good stock I guess. Some are just lucky. They won the gene pool lottery & will always be what the majority of people find physically hot at any age. For the rest of us......maybe in the next life....... icon_smile.gif



    "For the rest of us"? are you kidding?

    I thought you were 30 years old when I just saw your pics....and hotness?

    you were fishing and I biticon_wink.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:50 PM GMT
    SuperCell saidIm glad im not the person I was in my 20s, I was one arrogant , selfish, self centred hot head, i was very materialistic, had to be at all the in places with all the in people, had a great time, now im happy with simple stuff, i have no angst about looks or acceptance, i train because i love it, its my passion, my sport, everyone should have a blast when their younger, live life for themselves and not focus on looks, you will have a better time and people will love who you are not what you crave to be.


    WELL PUT
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    Nov 11, 2012 8:56 PM GMT
    I think about this a lot, and although the age range is not as great but I'm 25 now and don't look the same 'young and innocent' look I had the , when I was 18 I thought damn I could never talk to a guy who's 25 def not attractive. now guys 25-30 and more could be really sexy to me. I think that philosophy follow throughout life as age increases.
  • BuggEyedSprit...

    Posts: 936

    Nov 11, 2012 9:02 PM GMT
    Nope.
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    Nov 11, 2012 9:19 PM GMT
    Roguewave said
    SuperCell saidIm glad im not the person I was in my 20s, I was one arrogant , selfish, self centred hot head, i was very materialistic, had to be at all the in places with all the in people, had a great time, now im happy with simple stuff, i have no angst about looks or acceptance, i train because i love it, its my passion, my sport, everyone should have a blast when their younger, live life for themselves and not focus on looks, you will have a better time and people will love who you are not what you crave to be.


    WELL PUT


    Thank you icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???


    I'm with Cash (I think?) Clueless is clueless, regardless of looks. Maybe pretty boys don't have to work as hard for attention, but everyone, regardless of appearance, has to develop social skills. The reasoning that says all good looking men are likely to be superficial is just as skewed as the reasoning that all average or unattractive men are going to be deep. These forums witness some beautiful guys who sound pretty grounded.
  • carew28

    Posts: 1510

    Nov 11, 2012 10:51 PM GMT
    I don't see that age has changed people's fundamental personalities very much. The guys I know who were good-looking and friendly in their youth basically remain friendly and attractive, even though they've lost their youthful good looks. The guys who were good-looking but with unattractive personalities (stuck-up, selfish, pre-occupied with themselves, bullies, etc.) remain the same way now.

    People's fundamental personalities haven't changed, but aging seems to have been a great equalizer. Guys who'd been mediocre-looking in their youth but had attractive personalities are now doing better, comparatively speaking, than they did when they were younger. I guess that the playing field has become more level.

    Although fundamental personalities haven't changed, age and experience seems to have given increased self-confidence and assertiveness to guys who were shy and introverted in youth, while the guys who were extroverted seem to be the same as ever. Those who were friendly and popular remain so, and those who were bullies also remain so.
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    Nov 11, 2012 11:10 PM GMT
    A lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS.