To gay men 40+ who were considered "very hot" in their 20's -- Did your life change as you gradually got older?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 11:19 PM GMT
    Smegmatron saidA lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS.


    Dude, that is wrong on so many levels, many people who were not vain, and did not fuck around a lot died of AIDS, you really need to take a good look at yourself and think before you type
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    Nov 12, 2012 3:42 AM GMT
    jeffster saidI think men just seem to get better with age...


    Agreed. Older guys tend to win in maturity and scruff. I have a weak spot for both. icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 23, 2012 10:25 AM GMT
    20s isn't hot. Guys in 30s, 40s are the hottest.I think guys in 30s, 40s even know themselves. I mostly date with guys in late 30s.
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    Dec 23, 2012 11:08 AM GMT
    Smegmatron saidA lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS.


    perhaps the worst thing ever written on this site.

    aids wasn't payback. It is a virus. NOTHING more.

    In 1917, 50 Million People died of Spanish Flu. It is estimated that 500 Million were infected worldwide.

    3% of the World's population at the time died.

    Was it because they were too attractive and could have sex?????

    Yer a COMPLETE asshole who has ZERO reason to be on this site.

    I have no doubts that rejection is a regular part of your existance.

    your appearance has nothing to do with it.
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    Dec 23, 2012 11:15 AM GMT
    Smegmatron saidA lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS.

    Idkwtf you think you are but that was an ignorant bitch ass thing to say. You must be the only sane person you know? Moron.
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    Dec 23, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    I was cuter 10-15 years ago but I'm in better shape now and I'm 40.
    I can't say I think too much about the loss of youth. Happens to everyone. It's how you deal with it and what support systems you have in place to deal with it that matter.
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    Jan 07, 2016 2:27 PM GMT
    I certainty feel the pressure of the hands of time, getting close to 50!!!!!! I try to do the nest I cxan with what I have to work with.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 07, 2016 2:32 PM GMT
    TOJAMO saidI certainty feel the pressure of the hands of time, getting close to 50!!!!!! I try to do the nest I cxan with what I have to work with.

    You have great skin and a nice smile!icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 07, 2016 3:04 PM GMT
    Quote button not working
    previous post on this thread:
    "A lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS"

    A lot of the interesting gay men of the 80-90's were prone to AIDS. Even to this day, it is not immaculate conception how you contract AIDS. Be careful!



    if your 30years old and still in the clubs you need to check yourself. By that age you should have found your individual unique skillz set and be involved with that.

    if your 40years old and dont own the club(s) out right you need to check your self that your in someone else's club.

    if your 50yeas old and not in a relationship, not even with an animal, not even a dog/cat, you need to check your self. At that age there are real benefits to a household.
  • HottJoe

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    Jan 07, 2016 4:23 PM GMT
    pellaz saidQuote button not working
    previous post on this thread:
    "A lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS"

    A lot of the interesting gay men of the 80-90's were prone to AIDS. Even to this day, it is not immaculate conception how you contract AIDS. Be careful!



    if your 30years old and still in the clubs you need to check yourself. By that age you should have found your individual unique skillz set and be involved with that.

    if your 40years old and dont own the club(s) out right you need to check your self that your in someone else's club.

    if your 50yeas old and not in a relationship, not even with an animal, not even a dog/cat, you need to check your self. At that age there are real benefits to a household.

    These are actually pretty good guidelines, I'd say!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2016 6:08 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    TOJAMO saidI certainty feel the pressure of the hands of time, getting close to 50!!!!!! I try to do the nest I cxan with what I have to work with.

    You have great skin and a nice smile!icon_smile.gif

    Joe, you still look hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2016 6:10 PM GMT
    Lots of casual sex in my 20's. Later, longer term BF's and lovers.
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    Jan 07, 2016 6:53 PM GMT
    I have had way more attention the older I have gotten, not what I was expecting at all, got greying hair and a few lines around the eyes, stubble most of the time but scrub up ok, my abs have disappeared, fell in love for the first time with a guy that went back home abroad, damn it, he was 14 years younger than me, not what I was expecting again, you never know what life throws at you, I haven't ever slept around but get many very young and very hot guys after me which I don't get because I don't think i'm that good looking, average maybe but I'm not complaining at all, it's flattering to get the attention. I think sex gets better the older you get, maybe because you are more experienced in that department and know what works for both parties, i'm still slightly puzzled why i'm so popular but the right guy is worth waiting for.
    I am quite liking being older so don't fear it. Life is what you make it.
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    Jan 07, 2016 9:07 PM GMT
    Obviously it's not for everyone but for me being celibate saved my sanity (and no doubt my life as well). For example, no more thoughts about getting old and ugly.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22724

    Jan 07, 2016 9:31 PM GMT
    Since when is being between the ages of 18 to 29 a prerequisite for hotnessicon_question.gif
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    Jan 20, 2016 3:21 AM GMT
    When I was in my 20's I liked guys about 10 years older than myself. I still find guys attractive that are older than me. I only had 1 boyfriend that was younger, and although the sex was great; we had little in common much beyond that.

    I'm told when I was in my 20s I was hot (I didn't realy think so), but enough guys and girls told said otherwise.

    Overall, I feel more confident now than when I was younger.
  • YTC1989

    Posts: 47

    Jan 20, 2016 5:07 AM GMT
    Honestly I have yet to see an older guy on this site say they were into guys their age when they were young. All the daddies here were daddy chasers back in the day it seems. Unlikely, but one can probably guess why they would want to say that lol
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    Jan 20, 2016 7:24 AM GMT
    Kris92 saidI'll try to make this short.

    Last weekend I was at a gay club and was pondering something. I noticed that there are guys in their 20's who are hot and KNOW they're hot. For the record, I'm not hating, to the contrary...I love it! I love it when a guy is hot and knows he's hot. These guys basically had everyone in the room fawning at them.

    Then I looked around and noticed some of the older gay guys, they certainly weren't ugly but they weren't super-hot. I wondered how these guys lives must've changed after gradually getting older. For the rest of us (us meaning "average" looking guys) we have to rely on our personalities more, and build that up.

    So basically my question is:

    Since I wasn't brave enough to be blunt and ask those guys in the club directly, I thought I'd ask here. For you guys in your 40's, 50's, and 60's -- Do you feel like your life, at least mentally speaking, totally changed when you realized you weren't as attractive as you once were? Do you think it was a good thing or bad thing for you?


    "To gay men 40+ who were considered "very hot" in their 20's-Did your life change as you gradually got older.

    I quoted because after reading so many average guy replies, I lost your important quest for the answer.

    I've gone from handsome to average and back again a few times. I was a handsome boy but I thought I was ugly back then. I remember getting my hair cut at about 16 thinking I was super beautiful but I was very shy then,(introverted). Then I gained weight when my parents divorced. After a couple of years I got into swimming, winter and summer track, sprinting and high hurdles Javelin and discus. While waiting for a bus I could see alot of women staring at me as the car they were in drove by. I finally liked the attention from a distance.
    I used to watch and listen to the jocks that hung out the nearby high school home room and also at a gay dance club bathroom. I knew they came from healthier genes, more money. I would of wanted one of them if only they knew to be grateful for the beauty they personally didn't do anything to have.
    I went to a 20 year reunion and so many hotties became bald or fat guys. Because like someone here said they didn't develop their inner selves. I heard a few str8 guy conversations of sad attempts at snagging a one night stand with old high school friends. I had a few friends but they weren't there. I'm losing my hair gradually, and dye it. If most of it goes, I'll shave my head. I have some weight to lose but I don't want unwanted attention. So I tend to lose weight in the winter and gain it in the summer.
    You can see by looking at a face if someone has developed good character.
    And you know when and if we all become 80, it won't be looks but spiritual values that others will value.
  • Triggerman

    Posts: 720

    Jan 20, 2016 7:42 AM GMT
    It really made no difference to me. I looked older when I was younger and I look younger now that I am older. But I really do not care. If I see a young guy that attracts my attention, I chat him up. If he is not interested, I don't take it personally. I like my life. It is not the be all and end all of my view of myself. I know who I am. Might be his loss, maybe not. It does not change the view I have of me at all.
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    Jan 20, 2016 9:20 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    pellaz saidQuote button not working
    previous post on this thread:
    "A lot of the good-looking, vain guys who were in their 20s back in the 1980s who had an easy time getting laid and got all the sex they wanted, died of AIDS"

    A lot of the interesting gay men of the 80-90's were prone to AIDS. Even to this day, it is not immaculate conception how you contract AIDS. Be careful!



    if your 30years old and still in the clubs you need to check yourself. By that age you should have found your individual unique skillz set and be involved with that.

    if your 40years old and dont own the club(s) out right you need to check your self that your in someone else's club.

    if your 50yeas old and not in a relationship, not even with an animal, not even a dog/cat, you need to check your self. At that age there are real benefits to a household.

    These are actually pretty good guidelines, I'd say!


    I go clubbing because I enjoy dancing. It has always been music first, guys second.
    I'm as happy going to straight clubs as gay clubs which are often better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2016 9:23 AM GMT
    I don't have a view on the original topic. I was cute when younger not exceptionally hot but ok. I prefer my looks now.

    What I find amusing is seeing all the guys who were once hot and I lusted after, aging terribly. It's one of those horribly petty things I know, but there is a bit of glee there.
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    Jan 20, 2016 1:02 PM GMT
    YTC1989 saidHonestly I have yet to see an older guy on this site say they were into guys their age when they were young.


    Not true!

    In my 20s and 30s I wouldn't have given a second look to anyone much older.

    With that in mind, I find it hard to comprehend why so many older men on here claim to be surprised and indignant that younger men aren't welcoming their advances.

    And even if they were successful, the joys are limited. What a blow to one's vanity to compare their hot young date with what they see in the mirror.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jan 20, 2016 2:08 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI hardly ever liked guys in their twenties. Even when I was in my twenties I was always drawn to guys in their thirties, forties and sometimes fifties. Now that I'm in my mid forties I still like men in the aforementioned age brackets.





    Me also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2016 3:03 PM GMT
    You can't compare 1980's older gay men to today.

    When I was 26 in 1988, the typical 50 something gay guy was closeted, and lived a lonely and stressful double life. Add in decades of alcoholism, drug abuse, smoking, etc. and you get the picture. I vowed to take better care of myself....exercise, gain some emotional maturity, develop my career, etc.
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    Jan 20, 2016 3:08 PM GMT
    I was never conventionally hot, and probably never will... But now I am more interested in preserve and improve, be the best I can be -- for myself.

    Not used to people "daddy" me though -- I never know how to respond. icon_eek.gif